Even if you can't do that you need to be actively involved in your children's education or else the school is going to punish them at every turn. That's why I don't agree with people that say they don't want to teach their children about racism. Society doesn't wait to be racist to our kids we need them to be ready.
Preach. I have been saying this for 10 years now. I saw how bad the public school systems are. We need to make sure the children we raise tomorrow have better education that is focused on building a stronger future for themselves and knowing where they came from. I want my future children to be strong, independent from the government, business savvy, and unapologetically proud of their heritage. Public school systems teach them to be victims and look down on themselves.
One of the worst things you can tell your Black child when he/she is complaining about being mistreated or unfairly treated and punished by anyone (whether you suspect it is due to racism or not) from school are things like:
"don't let things like that get to you",
"what do you want me to do",
"sticks and stones",
"ignore them, they are just being ignorant",
"brush it off and get over it",
and "stand up for yourself" (without you being there to support them all the way when and after they finally do stand up for him/herself
The worst thing you can do is to:
* continue allowing your child to stay at their school when things are getting worse for them,
* believe lies, excuses and misinformation the school / others provide you so that they can cover their own asses, make you wait for justice forever and give you the run around, etc.
* give up or give in,
* forgive your child's abusers or have your child forgive his/her abusers,
* not keep a paper trail and documentation,
* victim blame your own child,
* be too trusting and naive where you give the benefit of doubt and look for the good in everyone and everything at your and your child's expense,
* not tell your child to document and record everything no matter what,
* not talk with your child as a team to form a plan and work together on getting the problem resolved no matter the obstacles that get in the way,
* not have your child's back (whether they are in the right or wrong),
* not check up with your child and ask about their day (and no, being too tired, being tied up with work, and having a busy schedule is not a good excuse either),
* not following up with incidents at school and continuing to do everything to ensure that adequate consequences / actions and justice are achieved for anyone messing with your child,
* side with the teachers / faulty and other abusers and giving them the green light to continue mistreating and abusing your child because you unfortunately let them know that you won't protect your vulnerable child to the fullest.
Or worse, letting them and everybody know that you believe in that whole "we should all get along" mess by
* agreeing to non-solutions like "paid suspension" (for faulty),
* saying things like, "I'm not sure if it's racially motivated", "it is 2035, not 1935", "I can't believe things like this are still happening", "why are you doing this? Because of the color of our skin? Because of our hair?" , as you are lowkey sending the signals that you are on some kumbaya "can we please get along and love each other" mess (you gotta go hard, please take some notes from the mothers of Ahmaud Arbery and Tamir Rice who are going about things the right way)
* mediation (aka, "working" things our with your bullies and enemies),
* letting them look into solutions indefinitely,
* accepting their "apologies",
* accepting and saying "okay" to training, retraining, and re-education" (especially for racist faulty and students that absolutely know better).
I actually feel that all of these lists are incomplete.
We need firings, terminations, expulsions, zero tolerance policies to be enforced, harsh disciplinary actions and punishment for violators. And we need real Black American history (not CRT) classes taught by no nonsense FBA teachers that all students are required to take. Yes, all of this is required. That retraining / re-education stuff is something extra and optional.
We need our Black students to have the same level of enforced protections that protected groups like the LGBT and Jewish have when someone is being perceived to have wronged them in any way, shape, or form. Zero tolerance across the entire board. Period.
