My husband’s crossdressing is the bane of my existence
It makes me sick. All of this started right after we got married. And I do mean RIGHT after. On our honeymoon, he wanted to wear the lingerie I had brought for myself. Then, he shaved his beard and his entire body. He started wearing my slutty clothes. He would only use razors, shaving cream, body lotion, etc that smelled super girly. I was not into this at all, but I wanted to be a good wife so I tried to indulge him. I bought him lots of lingerie and pretended I thought it was sexy. I did this to avoid a fight. He was not into porn before, but now he had started watching sissy porn and especially sissy hypno porn. Pretty soon he no longer wanted to have regular sex. It was always the strap on or some other weird kinky shit. We were always kinky before (bdsm) but it never involved sissification/crossdressing.
He started tucking, wearing breast forms, and even going out in public in bimbo mode. The “sex” was extremely emotionally exhausting for me but I did it anyway because I didn’t want a fight. I even brought in an old fling of mine (who is bi) to spend a weekend with us. My husband was dressed up the whole time and we sort of had a threesome but the other guy only lets dudes suck him, he won’t fuck them. I feel sick even remembering this experience, but at the time I just did it on autopilot so my husband would be satisfied. Soon after this, he convinced me to buy him a $600 chastity device. This was sort of fun for me at first. But then he decided he wanted to get it resized. He got one that was about 3 sizes too small. It would take him 40+ mins to get it on because he really had to jam himself in there. It was painful to look at. I was afraid this would cause permanent damage and I begged him to stop. He wouldn’t listen. He wanted to shrink his penis. This made me incredibly angry, but I bottled it up.
His crossdressing just kept escalating from there. We had an agreement that he would not do anything permanent, and that he had only one hall pass per year. The hall pass thing I had agreed to before we got married, because I already knew he was bi and I accepted it. There is one thing a man has that I don’t, so I agreed to let him get that elsewhere once per year.
For almost the whole first year of marriage, he was a walking kink. He had bought this stupid breast pump thing that’s supposed to make him grow little boobs over time, but the cups were way too big so it didn’t work. I then found emails between him and a hormone replacement clinic. He was asking them about doing a consultation to go on estrogen. That was the straw that broke the camels back. We had a really long discussion about it, and I told him that if he does this I am gone. The next day he went backpacking to find himself. I was creating an exit plan while he was gone, fully expecting him to come home and tell me that this fetish is more important to him than I am. But actually, he came back a changed man. He wanted to be normal again! He put all the sissy stuff away and stopped acting feminine.
That was almost a year ago, and things have been amazing since then. We’ve even adopted the traditional lifestyle, he works and I stay home. I take care of all the cooking and cleaning. We even do domestic discipline. Things have been so wonderful. It’s been almost a year since he stopped with all that. I’ve never been this happy. I found out we’re having a baby! We were over the moon!
And then…
He tells me he wants to start cross dressing again. He said he’ll only do it for “Locktober”. I told him then you must mean next year, not this year because I will be newly postpartum by then and I can’t deal with that in such a vulnerable state, nevermind that I also won’t be feeling up for any sex either. He considers this, then says he’ll do it in June this year (I’ll be 6 months then). I try to put it out of my mind, since at this time it was only February. But I’m already thinking of places I can go for that whole month of June so that I don’t have to participate in this shit again. This fetish is absolutely repulsive to me and I don’t think that I can slap on a brave face and suffer through it. Maybe I can for a month, I did it for a year! But I’m thinking it would probably just be easier if I am away somewhere while he’s at home doing that.
Then he bought new cups for that breast pump that actually fit his chest and has been using them for a few days. I objected because he said he was only going to do this in June. He said it’s so he can be ready for June and have little boobs by then. He puts the pump on as soon as he gets home. Before he even touches me. And it stays on for an hour. Then yesterday after pumping, he goes and puts on a bra and panties. I was napping when he did that and didn’t notice until he grabbed my hand and started trying to make me finger him. I pretended to still be asleep until he stopped. Then a bit later I got up and asked why he was wearing that. He said cause he felt sexy. I told him again that he said he would only do this in a June. It’s not fair to me for him to start dressing feminine because it always makes him start acting feminine too and I don’t like that. He said “but don’t I look cute?” And kept asking until I reluctantly lied and said yes cause I didn’t want to hurt his feelings even though I wanted to yell at him “NO, YOU LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS!”
He went and changed after that and then wouldn’t touch me the rest of the night. Before bed we had a small argument about it but he just shut down and went to bed without saying another word.
We’ve been here before. Either I put on an Oscar worthy performance, and enthusiastically participate in whatever depraved kinky shit he wants to do, or he withholds all love and affection from me until I do.
I feel like he’s slipping away and I’m losing him again to this disgusting, life ruining fetish. When he stopped cross dressing last year, I told him that I will not go back to home doing this full time. I can’t. His entire life revolved around this kink. He assured me that he was over it, and no longer found it appealing. That it was a phase. I believed him. And now we’re here. What can I do. Grin and bear it I guess? I feel trapped. I felt trapped before, but now I’m pregnant so I’m REALLY trapped.
EDIT:
My husband KNOWS how much I hate this fetish. I try to bottle my emotions and avoid fighting about it because whenever we do have a fight, it’s explosive and he will scream in my face. So I would rather just play along than have another fight like that
Also, my understanding is that someone is trans if they truly feel they are the opposite gender. He has vehemently told me that he does NOT feel he is a woman. At all. He has said he just wants to be a “pretty girl”, and bimbo/sissification is what does it for him. His idea of femininity does not go beyond looking like a hypersexualized blow up doll and also being sexually degraded/objectified (especially by men). That’s why i feel this is truly a fetish and not a gender identity issue
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/u9dzui/my_husbands_crossdressing_is_the_bane_of_my/?utm_term=1829754810&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_source=embed&utm_name=&utm_content=header
It makes me sick. All of this started right after we got married. And I do mean RIGHT after. On our honeymoon, he wanted to wear the lingerie I had brought for myself. Then, he shaved his beard and his entire body. He started wearing my slutty clothes. He would only use razors, shaving cream, body lotion, etc that smelled super girly. I was not into this at all, but I wanted to be a good wife so I tried to indulge him. I bought him lots of lingerie and pretended I thought it was sexy. I did this to avoid a fight. He was not into porn before, but now he had started watching sissy porn and especially sissy hypno porn. Pretty soon he no longer wanted to have regular sex. It was always the strap on or some other weird kinky shit. We were always kinky before (bdsm) but it never involved sissification/crossdressing.
He started tucking, wearing breast forms, and even going out in public in bimbo mode. The “sex” was extremely emotionally exhausting for me but I did it anyway because I didn’t want a fight. I even brought in an old fling of mine (who is bi) to spend a weekend with us. My husband was dressed up the whole time and we sort of had a threesome but the other guy only lets dudes suck him, he won’t fuck them. I feel sick even remembering this experience, but at the time I just did it on autopilot so my husband would be satisfied. Soon after this, he convinced me to buy him a $600 chastity device. This was sort of fun for me at first. But then he decided he wanted to get it resized. He got one that was about 3 sizes too small. It would take him 40+ mins to get it on because he really had to jam himself in there. It was painful to look at. I was afraid this would cause permanent damage and I begged him to stop. He wouldn’t listen. He wanted to shrink his penis. This made me incredibly angry, but I bottled it up.
His crossdressing just kept escalating from there. We had an agreement that he would not do anything permanent, and that he had only one hall pass per year. The hall pass thing I had agreed to before we got married, because I already knew he was bi and I accepted it. There is one thing a man has that I don’t, so I agreed to let him get that elsewhere once per year.
For almost the whole first year of marriage, he was a walking kink. He had bought this stupid breast pump thing that’s supposed to make him grow little boobs over time, but the cups were way too big so it didn’t work. I then found emails between him and a hormone replacement clinic. He was asking them about doing a consultation to go on estrogen. That was the straw that broke the camels back. We had a really long discussion about it, and I told him that if he does this I am gone. The next day he went backpacking to find himself. I was creating an exit plan while he was gone, fully expecting him to come home and tell me that this fetish is more important to him than I am. But actually, he came back a changed man. He wanted to be normal again! He put all the sissy stuff away and stopped acting feminine.
That was almost a year ago, and things have been amazing since then. We’ve even adopted the traditional lifestyle, he works and I stay home. I take care of all the cooking and cleaning. We even do domestic discipline. Things have been so wonderful. It’s been almost a year since he stopped with all that. I’ve never been this happy. I found out we’re having a baby! We were over the moon!
And then…
He tells me he wants to start cross dressing again. He said he’ll only do it for “Locktober”. I told him then you must mean next year, not this year because I will be newly postpartum by then and I can’t deal with that in such a vulnerable state, nevermind that I also won’t be feeling up for any sex either. He considers this, then says he’ll do it in June this year (I’ll be 6 months then). I try to put it out of my mind, since at this time it was only February. But I’m already thinking of places I can go for that whole month of June so that I don’t have to participate in this shit again. This fetish is absolutely repulsive to me and I don’t think that I can slap on a brave face and suffer through it. Maybe I can for a month, I did it for a year! But I’m thinking it would probably just be easier if I am away somewhere while he’s at home doing that.
Then he bought new cups for that breast pump that actually fit his chest and has been using them for a few days. I objected because he said he was only going to do this in June. He said it’s so he can be ready for June and have little boobs by then. He puts the pump on as soon as he gets home. Before he even touches me. And it stays on for an hour. Then yesterday after pumping, he goes and puts on a bra and panties. I was napping when he did that and didn’t notice until he grabbed my hand and started trying to make me finger him. I pretended to still be asleep until he stopped. Then a bit later I got up and asked why he was wearing that. He said cause he felt sexy. I told him again that he said he would only do this in a June. It’s not fair to me for him to start dressing feminine because it always makes him start acting feminine too and I don’t like that. He said “but don’t I look cute?” And kept asking until I reluctantly lied and said yes cause I didn’t want to hurt his feelings even though I wanted to yell at him “NO, YOU LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS!”
He went and changed after that and then wouldn’t touch me the rest of the night. Before bed we had a small argument about it but he just shut down and went to bed without saying another word.
We’ve been here before. Either I put on an Oscar worthy performance, and enthusiastically participate in whatever depraved kinky shit he wants to do, or he withholds all love and affection from me until I do.
I feel like he’s slipping away and I’m losing him again to this disgusting, life ruining fetish. When he stopped cross dressing last year, I told him that I will not go back to home doing this full time. I can’t. His entire life revolved around this kink. He assured me that he was over it, and no longer found it appealing. That it was a phase. I believed him. And now we’re here. What can I do. Grin and bear it I guess? I feel trapped. I felt trapped before, but now I’m pregnant so I’m REALLY trapped.
EDIT:
My husband KNOWS how much I hate this fetish. I try to bottle my emotions and avoid fighting about it because whenever we do have a fight, it’s explosive and he will scream in my face. So I would rather just play along than have another fight like that
Also, my understanding is that someone is trans if they truly feel they are the opposite gender. He has vehemently told me that he does NOT feel he is a woman. At all. He has said he just wants to be a “pretty girl”, and bimbo/sissification is what does it for him. His idea of femininity does not go beyond looking like a hypersexualized blow up doll and also being sexually degraded/objectified (especially by men). That’s why i feel this is truly a fetish and not a gender identity issue
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/u9dzui/my_husbands_crossdressing_is_the_bane_of_my/?utm_term=1829754810&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_source=embed&utm_name=&utm_content=header