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Ladies, If you could only have one out of a man, what would it be: Excitement or Consistency?

Red Velvet

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    The question is pretty clear in the title and you have to pick one or the other; both is not acceptable.



    Excitement - Never knowing what to expect, always something new, something novel, it can sometimes be good or bad. The goods can be super good e.g. all expense paid trip to the bahamas and as bad as you having to bail him out of jail because he was head of a drug ring, you never know.
    2b90866a581b32e84d5bd626611595d0.jpg


    Pros: Fun, exciting, no limits, never can be complacent.
    Cons: Not consistent, you never gain stability, you never know where you stand with him, things change at the drop of a hat.


    Consistency - You always know what to expect. He works, pays the bills, waters the lawn, takes care of the kids, makes love to you the same way every night, vacation once a year, doesn’t yell at you…Valentine’s, Halloween, Christmas Celebrations…everything Is the same every day.

    attractive-handsome-happy-smiling-professional-600w-563534299.jpg


    Pros: You always know where you stand, you know the lights will be on, bills will be paid, kids will be fed.
    Cons: Could lead to a boring life of monotony. You have security but could miss out on some once in a lifetime experiences due to lack of spontaneity.

    @RedMoon @Harlemhottie @eclipsed @Caprice
     
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    RedMoon

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    lol Oof. I would have to go with someone who's consistent. Excitement is fun but I'm not trying to babysit someone when the bad hits either. I also couldn't handle not knowing who I was getting at any given time. With a consistent guy, you can build something and hopefully you both can grow together. Plus, I'm sure there's some fun to be had with him too!
     

    Caprice

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    Consistency for sure. What happens when the “excitement” stops? Will that person start looking for excitement from
    Somewhere else? What’s exciting to one person might be too dangerous for another. Nah, consistency is actually more exciting to me. I’m excited when the bills are paid, when I’m respected, when I know what to expect, when I can depend on my partner, when I feel safe emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Consistency doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and switch things up from time to time. Find out what fun means to you and do more of that with your partner…consistently!
     

    Red Velvet

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    lol Oof. I would have to go with someone who's consistent. Excitement is fun but I'm not trying to babysit someone when the bad hits either. I also couldn't handle not knowing who I was getting at any given time. With a consistent guy, you can build something and hopefully you both can grow together. Plus, I'm sure there's some fun to be had with him too!

    Consistency for sure. What happens when the “excitement” stops? Will that person start looking for excitement from
    Somewhere else? What’s exciting to one person might be too dangerous for another. Nah, consistency is actually more exciting to me. I’m excited when the bills are paid, when I’m respected, when I know what to expect, when I can depend on my partner, when I feel safe emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Consistency doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and switch things up from time to time. Find out what fun means to you and do more of that with your partner…consistently!

    I didn’t want to contaminate the thread but I agree with both of you ladies, consistency is more valuable to me.

    I can make a consistent situation more exciting but I cannot make the exciting situation more consistent.

    I used to look for excitement when I was younger and thank god I didn’t get pregnant by some of those bums.

    I value a provider and a protector and that man is consistent and let’s me know where I stand and isn’t afraid to lead.
     

    Red Velvet

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    In literature you present yourselves as in desire of “Gray Suit - tie” but in reality you gravitate to “Designer belt - Shirtless”. Even more scandalous, you attempt to morph “Designer belt - shirtless” into “gray suit - tie”; your efforts are fruitless.

    The red pill has arrived.

    Celebrating Premier League GIF by Liverpool FC
     

    Ubiquity

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    As long as he is not a stick in the mud o ruddy Pooh a$$, I'll bring the excitement. I found out too many times that a man's idea of excitement is crazy!! Dude surprised me with mother's day looking flowers, indoor rock climbing and dinner at Fridays! 🙄🙄😒💐🧐🤨🤨. Nothing too exciting at all!!! Another dude showed up with a bucket/lemon/🚗 talking about surprising me... He was supposed to find time to fix it up! Another guy took me shopping and preferred hooker apparel- talking about accentuating my features! No jewelry yet or beach destinations. I know, I know.. I am ungrateful and have high standards. I say


    "You are no better than what you accept"

    I rather consistency and haven't seen too much excitement in my adult life to begin to favor it.
     

    Red Velvet

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    Right! Life is crazy enough!
    Girl who you telling. I got bills, work, family to deal with, last thing I need to be dealing with is some deadbeat buster who wants a second mommy.
    As long as he is not a stick in the mud o ruddy Pooh a$$, I'll bring the excitement. I found out too many times that a man's idea of excitement is crazy!! Dude surprised me with mother's day looking flowers, indoor rock climbing and dinner at Fridays! 🙄🙄😒💐🧐🤨🤨. Nothing too exciting at all!!! Another dude showed up with a bucket/lemon/🚗 talking about surprising me... He was supposed to find time to fix it up! Another guy took me shopping and preferred hooker apparel- talking about accentuating my features! No jewelry yet or beach destinations. I know, I know.. I am ungrateful and have high standards. I say


    "You are no better than what you accept"

    I rather consistency and haven't seen too much excitement in my adult life to begin to favor it.
    Hold up girl you gonna need to tell Us about the buckets and the lemon. sanaalathanlaugh
     

    Ubiquity

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    Girl who you telling. I got bills, work, family to deal with, last thing I need to be dealing with is some deadbeat buster who wants a second mommy.

    Hold up girl you gonna need to tell Us about the buckets and the lemon. sanaalathanlaugh


    Chile, that brotha was trying anything and I mean ANYTHING and ended up offending me. I was having car problems and never complained, it was my excuse to stay home 4real! He took it upon himself to show up with this 1990 Oldsmobile rusting, and loud!! He said "I bought a new car, you wanna check it out?" Later after going around the block he tried explaining how I worked hard and going to school and deserve some kindness and consideration.. I didn't accept it, told him I would think about it and ended up telling him I had a super STD and was suffering PTSD and didn't think dating was going to be apart of my recovery! Maybe I should have cursed him out, but truth is, there is a woman out there that would appreciate some mess like that and so there was no reason to make him feel bad.
     

    Red Velvet

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    Chile, that brotha was trying anything and I mean ANYTHING and ended up offending me. I was having car problems and never complained, it was my excuse to stay home 4real! He took it upon himself to show up with this 1990 Oldsmobile rusting, and loud!! He said "I bought a new car, you wanna check it out?" Later after going around the block he tried explaining how I worked hard and going to school and deserve some kindness and consideration.. I didn't accept it, told him I would think about it and ended up telling him I had a super STD and was suffering PTSD and didn't think dating was going to be apart of my recovery! Maybe I should have cursed him out, but truth is, there is a woman out there that would appreciate some mess like that and so there was no reason to make him feel bad.
    So he bought you a 1990 Oldsmobile? After how long of talking?
     

    Ubiquity

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    So he bought you a 1990 Oldsmobile? After how long of talking?


    Don't really remember, I wasn't really interested from the gate, but was willing to see passed my own illusions. I want to say 6 or 7, maybe even 8 months. A large part of that was boo-loving on the phone before bed.. I don't even think I am capable of staying on the phone like that anymore!! It was a Buick, Oldsmobile type model....it was OLD! Just like him, he was 41/42, I was 28/29.... I felt like the age difference was greasy; until I have gray pubs, I don't want to consider having to see someone else's gray pubs!

    My homegirl swear he had to spend $500-$600 because it was still running🙄🙄... I say $200 from a old aunt or uncle who had it sitting somewhere collecting dust!
     

    Troy

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    Don't really remember, I wasn't really interested from the gate, but was willing to see passed my own illusions. I want to say 6 or 7, maybe even 8 months. A large part of that was boo-loving on the phone before bed.. I don't even think I am capable of staying on the phone like that anymore!! It was a Buick, Oldsmobile type model....it was OLD! Just like him, he was 41/42, I was 28/29.... I felt like the age difference was greasy; until I have gray pubs, I don't want to consider having to see someone else's gray pubs!

    My homegirl swear he had to spend $500-$600 because it was still running🙄🙄... I say $200 from a old aunt or uncle who had it sitting somewhere collecting dust!
    Lol you was dating a broke sugar daddy.

    usher laugh
     

    sourgrapes

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    Consistency. I have been with exciting and unpredictable men and I am too old to be dealing with the drama that comes with it. I am looking for a man to settle down with and start a family. If ladies enjoy chasing the wild and free stallions, that is on them. They can have that rodeo! lol

    I want to be with someone who can commit, be consistent, maintain my trust, and be worth the risk of me putting all my cards on the table. I don't want to go all-in only to find out I attached myself to a dude that will go running the second he finds things are getting too heavy for him.
     

    Red Velvet

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    Don't really remember, I wasn't really interested from the gate, but was willing to see passed my own illusions. I want to say 6 or 7, maybe even 8 months. A large part of that was boo-loving on the phone before bed.. I don't even think I am capable of staying on the phone like that anymore!! It was a Buick, Oldsmobile type model....it was OLD! Just like him, he was 41/42, I was 28/29.... I felt like the age difference was greasy; until I have gray pubs, I don't want to consider having to see someone else's gray pubs!

    My homegirl swear he had to spend $500-$600 because it was still running🙄🙄... I say $200 from a old aunt or uncle who had it sitting somewhere collecting dust!
    Why you over there sweet talking Mr. Cat Daddy all night and then be surprised when he roll up with the bucket? You had him in his feels.

    nialonglaugh
    Lol you was dating a broke sugar daddy.

    usher laugh
    Don't do my girl like that.
    Consistency, I’m exciting enough for the both of us.
    Yes #carrentalbae! Your business is exciting enough!
    Consistency. I have been with exciting and unpredictable men and I am too old to be dealing with the drama that comes with it. I am looking for a man to settle down with and start a family. If ladies enjoy chasing the wild and free stallions, that is on them. They can have that rodeo! lol

    I want to be with someone who can commit, be consistent, maintain my trust, and be worth the risk of me putting all my cards on the table. I don't want to go all-in only to find out I attached myself to a dude that will go running the second he finds things are getting too heavy for him.
    Preach. I want to be able to be vulnerable and open and not have to worry about the next time my heart is going to break or the next time I'm going to be let down. I want to relax and let my man take the wheel.
     

    sourgrapes

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    Preach. I want to be able to be vulnerable and open and not have to worry about the next time my heart is going to break or the next time I'm going to be let down. I want to relax and let my man take the wheel.
    Same! I am all for being lead but I want a leader who can allow me to flourish with my guard down and not have to worry. I was with a guy who had me acting like a crazy person in the past. I just couldn't trust him so both of us ended up unhappy.