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Black Ohio Dentist Will Not See You If You Wear Bonnets And SlippersšŸ˜³

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Sooooo, a fellow podcaster( Black woman) who posted about this, agrees with the dentist. She believes if we want others/ whites to respect us, we should respect ourselves first. The dental practice has the right to do this, she says.

Before telling yā€™all what I told her, what are your thoughts on this?šŸ™„
 
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Respectability politics is shit but we as a Black community could designate if that is or is not respectable behavior. Iā€™m in my 40ā€™s and we couldnā€™t go outside the house in some bullshit
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Although Iā€™ve never been anywhere in slippers and pajamas, respectability politics are trash for us. I told the podcaster that so far it is the Black establishments and churches that focus on ā€œ lookismā€. I get that whites have their corporate dress and discriminations too, but cā€™monā€¦ a dental office? As a doctor or medical professional, be prepared to see all kinds of people. Not just those who are fresh pressed. This goes for all races and backgrounds.
 

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Looking for whites and others to respect us is a waste of time. However, this dental practice and other businesses have the right and more should do this. We used to pick on people who came out the house like they just rolled out the bed (unless it was an emergency). You could easily throw on a t-shirt and some sweats/shorts/skirt, or even a dress. You don't have to be "fresh pressed" to leave the house.

They were arguing about this on Twitter as well. People are saying it's anti-black... but who designated bonnets and slippers to be a Black thing? I saw whites and asians doing it (and worse!) long before any of our people. Why is it that some of us feel the need to lower the bar almost to hell when Black people try to set standards for their businesses?? It brings to mind that Black restaurant that was trying to get people to stop twerking on their tables and they faced SO much backlash online.

Something to think about: Some of these same people complaining will jump through hoops and comply if any non-Black establishment had the same standards or something in place that was stricter.
 

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    Sooooo, a fellow podcaster( Black woman) who posted about this, agrees with the dentist. She believes if we want others/ whites to respect us, we should respect ourselves first. The dental practice has the right to do this, she says.

    Before telling yā€™all what I told her, what are your thoughts on this?šŸ™„
    I think that internally as Black people we have the right to dictate our culture so if we say that bonnets and slippers belong in the house then it is what it is regardless what White people think. As a Black man, I donā€™t respect that clothing when worn outside of the house and it has nothing to do with white people. If someone wants to dress tacky thatā€™s them but I donā€™t want them conflating tackiness with being Black.

    Because these same slippers and bonnets people are the same ones that will turn around and get mad because you wonā€™t let them twerk in your restaurant. We canā€™t let the low end dictate the entire culture. We are beautiful and regal people and we need to uphold that standard internally.
     
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    Looking for whites and others to respect us is a waste of time. However, this dental practice and other businesses have the right and more should do this. We used to pick on people who came out the house like they just rolled out the bed (unless it was an emergency). You could easily throw on a t-shirt and some sweats/shorts/skirt, or even a dress. You don't have to be "fresh pressed" to leave the house.

    They were arguing about this on Twitter as well. People are saying it's anti-black... but who designated bonnets and slippers to be a Black thing? I saw whites and asians doing it (and worse!) long before any of our people. Why is it that some of us feel the need to lower the bar almost to hell when Black people try to set standards for their businesses?? It brings to mind that Black restaurant that was trying to get people to stop twerking on their tables and they faced SO much backlash online.

    Something to think about: Some of these same people complaining will jump through hoops and comply if any non-Black establishment had the same standards or something in place that was stricter.
    I agree. As far as a medical practice not seeing patients due to slippers and bonnets though?? it is a step too far. We donā€™t know everyoneā€™s situations. Like you said, it is the dentistā€™s practice and so they can set whatever rules they want. Patients have freedoms to go elsewhere with their business.

    Black people DO comply with ā€œ white establishments ā€œ more , but the CROWN act is proof that Blacks are tired of the ā€œ corporate attire and ā€œ straight hair politics. So, yes we do go against the grain of white establishments too for certain things.
     
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    Personally, I DO NOT have an issue with this policy. I talked about this on my podcast last night...
    Ok cool! I thought Iā€™d share this because many would consider me composed, conservative etc. so Iā€™m a little surprised that I take issue with the dental office, but then again being on this planet four decades , I learn to see a little deeper than whatā€™s on the surface sometimes. I agree that bad hygiene and sloppy dress is a no-no but a medical establishment is there to help sick people, not care whatā€™s on their feet or if their hair done or not.
     

    Roparker71

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    Ok cool! I thought Iā€™d share this because many would consider me composed, conservative etc. so Iā€™m a little surprised that I take issue with the dental office, but then again being on this planet four decades , I learn to see a little deeper than whatā€™s on the surface sometimes. I agree that bad hygiene and sloppy dress is a no-no but a medical establishment is there to help sick people, not care whatā€™s on their feet or if their hair done or not.
    I agree with you on that point... I mean there's no need for a suit and tie for the dentist office... but don't come to a public establishment looking like you just jumped out of bed...
     
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    I agree with you on that point... I mean there's no need for a suit and tie for the dentist office... but don't come to a public establishment looking like you just jumped out of bed...
    I think we all can agree on that point lol. As one parent said though, her sonā€™s issues and physical impairment makes him more comfortable in slippers and sometimes she will have a scarf on. She is looking for help, not being told to fully dress before arriving. To be fair, the medical practice my fam go to have a mix of white and Hispanics in slippers and jeans, scarves but no one truly cares and never turned awayā€¦
     

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    I think we all can agree on that point lol. As one parent said though, her sonā€™s issues and physical impairment makes him more comfortable in slippers and sometimes she will have a scarf on. She is looking for help, not being told to fully dress before arriving. To be fair, the medical practice my fam go to have a mix of white and Hispanics in slippers and jeans, scarves but no one truly cares and never turned awayā€¦
    The issue I have is when you allow low standards and a cluster of people with low standards patronize your business it will brand your business. Professionals wonā€™t feel comfortable going to a dental practice if everyone id in there with bonnets and slippers.

    If this was an emergency room doing this or a publicly funded hospital then I can understand but a private medical practice is different because itā€™s a business that offers a medical service. If people want to dress in a bonnet and slippers then they can go somewhere else.

    These type of issues end up being a race to the bottom for us culturally overtime. People that canā€™t even be bothered to get dressed to go somewhere end up being the ones that set the standards in our cultureā€¦we need to change that.
     

    Rollie Forbes

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    "Dressing for the white man's acceptance" has nothing to do with looking like a bum when you go outside.
    Anybody who grew up in the 80's or earlier with a Black parent was taught that you didn't go outside looking any kind of way. Your hair was combed, your face/body was washed (and lotioned), your clothes were ironed, and you wore deodorant. We had standards.
    The white man has nothing to do with taking pride in your appearance. In fact, I would go so far as to say that looking sloppy is what non-Blacks did, and some of us have started to live down to their standard.
    Related:
     

    JerriBun

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    I agree. As far as a medical practice not seeing patients due to slippers and bonnets though?? it is a step too far. We donā€™t know everyoneā€™s situations. Like you said, it is the dentistā€™s practice and so they can set whatever rules they want. Patients have freedoms to go elsewhere with their business.

    Black people DO comply with ā€œ white establishments ā€œ more , but the CROWN act is proof that Blacks are tired of the ā€œ corporate attire and ā€œ straight hair politics. So, yes we do go against the grain of white establishments too for certain things.
    Don't like it, go to another dentist, simple. If there are exceptions that need to be made, call the practice first. They are going to tell you yes or no.

    Here is the sign for anyone wondering:

    Screenshot 2023-05-30 at 11-44-55 hāœ®nesty thee liar on Twitter.png

    Literally... don't roll out the bed and come to my practice.

    Plus, if you're worried about your hair messing up in the chair... Put the bonnet on your head when you're about to sit in the dental chair. Child have sensory issues? Put the slippers on when they are about to sit in the dental chair.

    As far as the CROWN act, that's why I said "some". However, there is a difference between dictating how someone has to style their hair disregarding texture and length vs clothes you put on to leave the house. We all don't have the same hair care needs, but we have clothes that are clearly for sleeping and clothes that are clearly for going outside.
     

    JerriBun

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    In fact, I would go so far as to say that looking sloppy is what non-Blacks did, and some of us have started to live down to their standard.
    Yes, this whole sentence. As one of my Twitter mutuals would say... the community is getting "COOKED!!!"
     

    Rollie Forbes

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    Hi guys! Thanks for your different perspectives. I love it!

    Iā€™ve looked more into this, and still amā€¦ This Tweet disturbed meā€¦

    View attachment 7753
    All I see is a dentist who is trying to bring a much needed service (oral care is super important) to the people who need it the most. As far as the Black dentist's quality of work, that tweeter gave no examples, just some ol' "I heard" nonsense. I call cap.
     
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    All I see is a dentist who is trying to bring a much needed service (oral care is super important) to the people who need it the most. As far as the Black dentist's quality of work, that tweeter gave no examples, just some ol' "I heard" nonsense. I call cap.
    It is possible that her tweet is fabricatedā€¦ a few more from that area said the same thing. Thank you for your thoughts!
     

    Jay

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    It is possible that her tweet is fabricatedā€¦ a few more from that area said the same thing. Thank you for your thoughts!
    Issues like this is why many entrepreneurial/self-starting Black people leave the community and donā€™t come back. All the dentist said is to not come in her practice with pajamas on and she is being attacked by supposed Black people.

    Now letā€™s say she shuts her business down or moves to the suburbsā€¦now that community is left without a dentist. Guess who is going to fill the gap? Some middle eastern that sees Black people like monkeys and is gonna be there yanking black peopleā€™s teeth out and charging your state or federal benefits and calling it a day.

    The result will be a community that can wear whatever they want but they will be disrespected, overcharged, and under serviced and whose fault will it be? Their own. They donā€™t want better so they will end up with nothing.
     
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    Issues like this is why many entrepreneurial/self-starting Black people leave the community and donā€™t come back. All the dentist said is to not come in her practice with pajamas on and she is being attacked by supposed Black people.

    Now letā€™s say she shuts her business down or moves to the suburbs now that community is left without a dentist. Guess who is going to fill the gap? Some middle eastern that sees Black people like monkeys and is gonna be there yanking black peopleā€™s teeth out and charging your state or federal benefits and calling it a day.

    The community will be able to wear whatever they want but they will be disrespected, overcharged, and under services and whose fault will it be? That community. They donā€™t want better so they will end up with nothing.
    Some Black establishments do feel this way, and leave the communityā€¦ good for them. I will always hope they have the best and wish them nothing but positivity.

    Right now, a family member is going through Black dentist who has overcharged him and we are now learning this is common. This dentist is not in a ā€œ ghettoā€ area though. Yes, itā€™s a simple rule to not wear a scarf or sippers. As Iā€™ve stated, I have zero problems with that, Iā€™m just comparing it to the mixed/ white med offices I go to that have high standards/respect, friendly faces, and zero cares about bonnets and slippersšŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø
     

    ZxBro

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    There was a time when Dignity was the rule and not the exception ......āœŠšŸæšŸ’Æ
    impressive GIF


    20220320_053249.jpg
     

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    Some Black establishments do feel this way, and leave the communityā€¦ good for them. I will always hope they have the best and wish them nothing but positivity.

    Right now, a family member is going through Black dentist who has overcharged him and we are now learning this is common. This dentist is not in a ā€œ ghettoā€ area though. Yes, itā€™s a simple rule to not wear a scarf or sippers. As Iā€™ve stated, I have zero problems with that, Iā€™m just comparing it to the mixed/ white med offices I go to that have high standards/respect, friendly faces, and zero cares about bonnets and slippersšŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø
    But why compare them to a White dentist like thatā€™s the standard we have to meet? Most White people donā€™t understand our cultural customs thatā€™s why when I say ā€œI need a haircutā€ theyā€™ll say ā€œwhat your hair is so short you donā€™t need oneā€ but another Black person will see my hair and see my line is off and etc.

    In our community we understand that bonnets are not garments you wear outside and so accomplished people like the dentist is saying to keep your bonnet at home.

    I bet the people upset have not accomplished much in their lives. So if we follow them guess where we going to be as a community? Out here with nothing too.
     
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    But why compare them to a White dentist like thatā€™s the standard we have to meet? Most White people donā€™t understand our cultural customs thatā€™s why when I say ā€œI need a haircutā€ theyā€™ll say ā€œwhat your hair is so short you donā€™t need oneā€ but another Black person will see my hair and see my line is off and etc.

    In our community we understand that bonnets are not garments you wear outside and so accomplished people like the dentist is saying to keep your bonnet at home.

    I bet the people upset have not accomplished much in their lives. So if we follow them guess where we going to be as a community? Out here with nothing too.
    Interestingā€¦ some Blacks are saying that Black people shouldnā€™t take the sign as racist. Although other races wear scarves and bonnets too, black women tend to wear them more to cover up hair not ready or for protection, etc. I know some women who are having the day off work and would just drop their child off at school for those few moments and yes, go back to bed. If their behinds, chest, etc are exposed or if they havenā€™t bathed, then of course that is unacceptable. I think we can all agree on that.
     

    Red Velvet

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    Interestingā€¦ some Blacks are saying that Black people shouldnā€™t take the sign as racist. Although other races wear scarves and bonnets too, black women tend to wear them more to cover up hair not ready or for protection, etc. I know some women who are having the day off work and would just drop their child off at school for those few moments and yes, go back to bed. If their behinds, chest, etc are exposed or if they havenā€™t bathed, then of course that is unacceptable. I think we can all agree on that.
    Girl i wonā€™t even take my trash to the chute with my bonnet on. I was born in 84 and the only girls that wore bonnets outside growing up were the ā€œghettoā€ ones. I was raised in New York but my parents are from the South and I had an extremely traditional upbringing.

    We ate at the table every night, held hands during grace, said yes sir and no maā€™am, and if my dad heard color me badd you were going straight to bed.

    I donā€™t like see Black women agreeing to lower the standards to the point where we donā€™t have to be ladies. The only thing they are liberating us from is a happy home and community.
     

    The Haze Of Our Lives

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    Sooooo, a fellow podcaster( Black woman) who posted about this, agrees with the dentist. She believes if we want others/ whites to respect us, we should respect ourselves first. The dental practice has the right to do this, she says.

    Before telling yā€™all what I told her, what are your thoughts on this?šŸ™„
    It is what she says it is, it's her practice. Can't fault her.
     
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    Thank you all for your responsesā€¦ so in conclusion:
    1) it is her practice and she can establish her own rules ( completely agree)

    2) those who tend to wear slippers and bonnets tend to be ā€œ ghetto, unclean, poor examples of black communities

    3) backlash against these rules proves and further drives upstanding well to do black folks from these poorly dressed blacks.
     

    The Honorable

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    Thank you all for your responsesā€¦ so in conclusion:
    1) it is her practice and she can establish her own rules ( completely agree)

    2) those who tend to wear slippers and bonnets tend to be ā€œ ghetto, unclean, poor examples of black communities

    3) backlash against these rules proves and further drives upstanding well to do black folks from these poorly dressed blacks.
    I believe thatā€™s an unfair characterization of the issue. I cannot speak for anyone here but I believe the consensus is that both parties are acting well within their rights. The patrons have the right to dress as they wish and the Dr. has the right to refuse them service.

    What should be more concerning to us in the community is not in the refusal of service but in the lack of respect for the Black doctorā€™s establishment.

    These individuals value bonnets and pajamas more than they value Black medical practitioners. When it is viewed from that perspective how can you view them as anything other than low class?
     

    The Haze Of Our Lives

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    Thank you all for your responsesā€¦ so in conclusion:
    1) it is her practice and she can establish her own rules ( completely agree)

    2) those who tend to wear slippers and bonnets tend to be ā€œ ghetto, unclean, poor examples of black communities

    3) backlash against these rules proves and further drives upstanding well to do black folks from these poorly dressed blacks.
    Great post.
     

    ZxBro

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    Just a side note we are at war so when we go out we should dress appropriately hard shoes and war ready you can't bop in slippers and PJ'S nor can you conceal carry just saying......it can jump off at anytime are you prepared? āœŠšŸæšŸ’Æ #BlackBoots
    #NinjaMask #CandyBars
     
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    Just a side note we are at war so when we go out we should dress appropriately hard shoes and war ready you can't bop in slippers and PJ'S nor can you conceal carry just saying......it can jump off at anytime are you prepared? āœŠšŸæšŸ’Æ #BlackBoots
    #NinjaMask #CandyBars
    Okay okay Iā€™m wit that analogy!!!āœŠšŸ½
     
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    šŸ˜¬šŸ˜žšŸ˜žthis is one of those cases where covering up and being modest should have been a priority. This is a perfect example of needing to cover up and also a good example of how we are to be presentable in ā€œ certain spaces ā€œ She is UNDER dressed. Big difference from someone wearing a scarf in a cold dentist office šŸ˜…ā€¦ heck at least with sweats or shirt on, the ā€œ goodsā€ wouldnā€™t be visible.
     

    Adrian Walkes

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    Sooooo, a fellow podcaster( Black woman) who posted about this, agrees with the dentist. She believes if we want others/ whites to respect us, we should respect ourselves first. The dental practice has the right to do this, she says.

    Before telling yā€™all what I told her, what are your thoughts on this?šŸ™„
    She is absolutely correct, if you don't have self respect, you're not fit to live.
     

    RCNAL

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    I recall this thread and I was actually surprised at myself when I read what I wrote which is the dentist is tripping. LOL...I was thinking, I wrote that? That was my initial reaction.
    I was wrong. I like to be comfortable. We all do, but I get it. Pajamas are a bit much. I am so so on the bonnet though still. I don't like bonnets, and if I saw a cute sista who seemed nice at Walmart, and she had a bonnet, I may not holla at her just because of it. But I am also a free expression person. As teens young adults you go through various styles. Some I'm embarrassed about today. lol. But as an adult, I try to dress respectfully and seem I'm about business. Even when wearing casual clothes.

    If I had a wife or daughter I would discuss appropriate outdoors dress. I try to dress age appropriate myself. Seeing grown men sagging with skinny jeans and a baseball cap over a doo rag is just sad.....lol

    I will say this though. does he have the same energy for Pookie sagging with half his azz showing? I hope so.

    Overall, in hindsight, I think with this fight against white supremacy, we should look and act like we are serious about it. Nothing to do with what white people think. Phuck them. But we should try to be ready, in mind, act.....and appearance.
     
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    I agree. As far as a medical practice not seeing patients due to slippers and bonnets though?? it is a step too far. We donā€™t know everyoneā€™s situations. Like you said, it is the dentistā€™s practice and so they can set whatever rules they want. Patients have freedoms to go elsewhere with their business.

    Black people DO comply with ā€œ white establishments ā€œ more , but the CROWN act is proof that Blacks are tired of the ā€œ corporate attire and ā€œ straight hair politics. So, yes we do go against the grain of white establishments too for certain things.
    But who really must wear a bonnet and house slippers in public?!
    Like, you ainā€™t got no shoes and a comb at home?!