The Cookout

Harbinger · 2/20/22

View: https://youtu.be/wthU7pqn3To

She is waiting for marriage and hasn’t got married in all this time.

How much you wanna bet she is difficult AF to deal with?

I met a 30 year old virgin and she cherished that shit like it was the ark of the covenant.

At a certain point they put so much premium on the virginity and be much more than the market can support.

The want you to jump through hoop after hoop because to them they are giving away something near and dear not realizing that in the market it’s just another vagina that’s in oversupply.

sourgrapes · 2/20/22

I am fine with women saving themselves for marriage but 50? Can she even have children at this point?

Most women get married between the ages of 22 and 32. With a smaller percentage getting married 33 to 43. I think the ship has sailed. Very few women get married after 44 if they have never been married.

Red Velvet · 2/20/22

sourgrapes said:
I am fine with women saving themselves for marriage but 50? Can she even have children at this point?

Most women get married between the ages of 22 and 32. With a smaller percentage getting married 33 to 43. I think the ship has sailed. Very few women get married after 44 if they have never been married.

Girl no way on Earth I’d wait that long. There’s probably more to the story and there is some trauma there that is keeping her from sex.

Jay · 2/20/22

Oh helll no. Just imagine the hurdles she gonna make you jump over to get to home plate. She gonna make you work for every year she decided to not have sex. Another thing is since she hasn’t had sex she can continue waiting so the second you do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable she is going to withdrawal. A woman like that is gonna end up:

Dying a virgin
Giving up her virginity to pookie and ray ray

If she dates a competent man she will have an extremely thin window to get on his good side and very slim. The issue is at this age she is most likely stuck in her ways so it will be impossible to work because she’ll be trying to set the rules rather than adapting to his plan.

Blackgravity · 2/20/22

This says something about herself, the odds of a woman being a virgin at 50 is almost ridiculous. What is it about her that men find its not worth waiting for?
I can almost see being a virgin at 30, but 50! That's not natural, at all. I've never seen any other species on this planet think like or do something like this.
Imagine if large populations of women thought like this, it wouldn't be much of a population. You live once, take full advantage of this fragile thing we call life, don't deprive yourself of experiencing things.

ART · 2/20/22

It seems we women are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If our clock is running out and we get desperate and make the wrong choice (which is extremely easy to do and seems difficult to avoid), we can end up pregnant and abandoned, or attached to a guy not suitable for us such as a struggling guy or an abuser / nut / closet case / hobosexual / player who games women / underachiever / guy with problems that can be challenging to work with. If we do wait for the market to improve and if we do enough to improve ourselves (or not enough), there are either no options or undesirable options left that won't really benefit you and could even cause harm.

Jay · 2/20/22

ART said:
It seems we women are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If our clock is running out and we get desperate and make the wrong choice (which is extremely easy to do and seems difficult to avoid), we can end up pregnant and abandoned, or attached to a guy not suitable for us such as a struggling guy or an abuser / nut / closet case / hobosexual / player who games women / underachiever / guy with problems that can be challenging to work with. If we do wait for the market to improve and if we do enough to improve ourselves (or not enough), there are either no options or undesirable options left that won't really benefit you and could even cause harm.

That’s not damned if you do or damned if you don’t because there is a multitude of women who are winning in the exact same circumstances.

If your clock is running out and you’re desperate to find a man, whose fault is that? It’s not like biological limitations are something unknown. If you wait til the last minute to start a family that’s your bad.

If you wait too long and now all the good men are taken or you ran off all the good men that were in your life whose fault is that?

If 100% of the women only want the top 10% of men then you can’t play games because someone is for sure going to be be up empty handed.

Deleted member 231 · 2/20/22

the only thing worse than dating a virgin, is dating an old virgin. This woman is like a unicorn. ALthough I have to wonder what constitutes a virgin, and what exactly HAS she done with another person. Imagine being an older man and taking a female home who has never even s'd some D......I just watched the clip. SHe look like a freak. I'm calling BS.

Blackgravity · 2/21/22

Jay said:
That’s not damned if you do or damned if you don’t because there is a multitude of women who are winning in the exact same circumstances.

If your clock is running out and you’re desperate to find a man, whose fault is that? It’s not like biological limitations are something unknown. If you wait til the last minute to start a family that’s your bad.

If you wait too long and now all the good men are taken or you ran off all the good men that were in your life whose fault is that?

If 100% of the women only want the top 10% of men then you can’t play games because someone is for sure going to be be up empty handed.

exactly, life is too short to be playing games. She F'd around ... and will find out.

Blackgravity · 2/21/22

Bmick#8 said:
the only thing worse than dating a virgin, is dating an old virgin. This woman is like a unicorn. ALthough I have to wonder what constitutes a virgin, and what exactly HAS she done with another person. Imagine being an older man and taking a female home who has never even s'd some D......I just watched the clip. SHe look like a freak. I'm calling BS.

lol, she's not ugly she not fine either, she's average. I get the vibe from her that she'd turn to a Kathy Bates from that movie Misery if you pissed her off though. lol
something about that smile... it's almost evil.

Harbinger · 2/21/22

Bmick#8 said:
the only thing worse than dating a virgin, is dating an old virgin. This woman is like a unicorn. ALthough I have to wonder what constitutes a virgin, and what exactly HAS she done with another person. Imagine being an older man and taking a female home who has never even s'd some D......I just watched the clip. SHe look like a freak. I'm calling BS.

Breh she‘s a prude and she said she doesn’t have a vibrator and has done nothing below the waist. Ontop of that she is on national TV talking about it, she is hardcore. She won’t let you get close to that kitty unless the lord comes down and tells her to give you some and then she’ll still have to think about it.

Deleted member 231 · 2/21/22

Maybe somebody can reach out to her and tell her to call in to the Business.....the chat room would be LIT!

Jay · 2/21/22

Bmick#8 said:
Maybe somebody can reach out to her and tell her to call in to the Business.....the chat room would be LIT!

She would get shredded.

We don't need that lady to go through that. She's say "I haven't met anyone worth it yet" that's when Jason smells blood in the water. It's over at that point.

sourgrapes · 2/22/22

Red Velvet said:
Girl no way on Earth I’d wait that long. There’s probably more to the story and there is some trauma there that is keeping her from sex.

When the aspect of religion is not a big part of the picture, it most certainly is trauma-based. It is far more common to find men who are virgins later in life than women. Even if you aren't the best looking, there is always a man who is able and willing! Women are more picky though (as we should be lol).

Deleted member 231 · 2/22/22

sourgrapes said:
When the aspect of religion is not a big part of the picture, it most certainly is trauma-based. It is far more common to find men who are virgins later in life than women. Even if you aren't the best looking, there is always a man who is able and willing! Women are more picky though (as we should be lol).

she ain't ugly, and I'm sure she was pretty cute in her 20's. but something had to have happened......hard for me to believe that she has never had any sexual contact before.....

Red Velvet · 2/22/22

sourgrapes said:
When the aspect of religion is not a big part of the picture, it most certainly is trauma-based. It is far more common to find men who are virgins later in life than women. Even if you aren't the best looking, there is always a man who is able and willing! Women are more picky though (as we should be lol).

But religion making you hold out that long girl? That is not normal by any stretch.

Troy · 2/22/22

Bmick#8 said:
Maybe somebody can reach out to her and tell her to call in to the Business.....the chat room would be LIT!

Nigga if you wanna slide through slide through. Trust she got them fort knox panties on you aint got a shot. She stand like she aint ever got her back blown you can tell.

ART · 2/22/22

Jay said:
That’s not damned if you do or damned if you don’t because there is a multitude of women who are winning in the exact same circumstances.

If your clock is running out and you’re desperate to find a man, whose fault is that? It’s not like biological limitations are something unknown. If you wait til the last minute to start a family that’s your bad.

If you wait too long and now all the good men are taken or you ran off all the good men that were in your life whose fault is that?

If 100% of the women only want the top 10% of men then you can’t play games because someone is for sure going to be be up empty handed.

Can you name specific challenging circumstances where certain women are currently winning relationship and marriage-wise?

Deleted member 231 · 2/22/22

I wouldn't even mess with a 30 yr old virgin. I wouldn't have the patience. I can understand how difficult it can be meeting people for sexual activity through high school and college, but the problem is that the pressure just mounts every year after you turn 18. I wonder how old she was when she realized she was probably never going to have sex. I didn;t have sex until I was 18 so I remember what it felt like to get the monkey off my back. I was a nerd too so it wasn't like it was easy or often between the ages of 18 and 23. I bet the sex/marriage package just scared a lot of dudes off. She was probably putting pressure on guys to get married, when subconsciously she really wanted sex. just a theory.

Jay · 2/22/22

ART said:
Can you name specific challenging circumstances where certain women are currently winning relationship and marriage-wise?

I don't understand what you're asking me and I'm not being obtuse. Are you asking how are women currently winning in relationships and marriage?

Jay · 2/22/22

Bmick#8 said:
I wouldn't even mess with a 30 yr old virgin. I wouldn't have the patience. I can understand how difficult it can be meeting people for sexual activity through high school and college, but the problem is that the pressure just mounts every year after you turn 18. I wonder how old she was when she realized she was probably never going to have sex. I didn;t have sex until I was 18 so I remember what it felt like to get the monkey off my back. I was a nerd too so it wasn't like it was easy or often between the ages of 18 and 23. I bet the sex/marriage package just scared a lot of dudes off. She was probably putting pressure on guys to get married, when subconsciously she really wanted sex. just a theory.

I tried to date one when I was 26...she was 3 years older than me and it didn't feel like I was dating an adult. There were so many body positivity, PDA issues, and etc that I frankly didn't have the time for. They were lessons she should have learned years prior but she didn't and it was slowing the relationship down. Instead of focusing on the challenges of adulthood, I had to constantly make sure she was comfortable with the littlest of interactions. It got tiring for me and I Iet her go. I swore never to do that again but I ran into another who lied to me and didn't tell me I was her first until like 2 years later.

Deleted member 231 · 2/22/22

the juice is not worth the squeeze for those exact reasons. it's like driving on a muddy, dirt road uphill in a Kia.

The Honorable · 2/22/22

Harbinger said:
At a certain point they put so much premium on the virginity and be much more than the market can support.

The want you to jump through hoop after hoop because to them they are giving away something near and dear not realizing that in the market it’s just another vagina that’s in oversupply.

I guarantee you this is why she is a 50 year old virgin. Like many have said, she's attractive so that's not the issue. So it is most likely attitude and possible some bad experiences in the past. Unfortunately for her, she has put herself in a box. With 50 of celibacy years behind her, she will never find a man who will meet a standard worth ending her streak. It was a great accomplishment til about 26, after that it's a flaw.

I wish her the best though and hope she is fulfilled.

ART · 2/22/22

Jay said:
I don't understand what you're asking me and I'm not being obtuse. Are you asking how are women currently winning in relationships and marriage?

I'm asking when you say women in the "exact same circumstances" are winning, I'm trying to understand what you meant exactly. Basically I wanted to know: What are the exact same circumstances?

Deleted member 231 · 2/22/22

The Honorable said:
I guarantee you this is why she is a 50 year old virgin. Like many have said, she's attractive so that's not the issue. So it is most likely attitude and possible some bad experiences in the past. Unfortunately for her, she has put herself in a box. With 50 of celibacy years behind her, she will never find a man who will meet a standard worth ending her streak. It was a great accomplishment til about 26, after that it's a flaw.

I wish her the best though and hope she is fulfilled.

She probably was chasing James Worthy when she should've been hollering at A.C. Green

ART · 2/22/22

Bmick#8 said:
I wouldn't even mess with a 30 yr old virgin. I wouldn't have the patience. I can understand how difficult it can be meeting people for sexual activity through high school and college, but the problem is that the pressure just mounts every year after you turn 18. I wonder how old she was when she realized she was probably never going to have sex. I didn;t have sex until I was 18 so I remember what it felt like to get the monkey off my back. I was a nerd too so it wasn't like it was easy or often between the ages of 18 and 23. I bet the sex/marriage package just scared a lot of dudes off. She was probably putting pressure on guys to get married, when subconsciously she really wanted sex. just a theory.

Sex is so easy to find and participate in (free or paid) especially for women, but commitment and finding the right producer....that's where the actual challenge begins.

Jay · 2/22/22

ART said:
I'm asking when you say women in the "exact same circumstances" are winning, I'm trying to understand what you meant exactly. Basically I wanted to know: What are the exact same circumstances?

“Exact same circumstances” means “same ecology”.

ART · 2/22/22

Jay said:
“Exact same circumstances” means “same ecology”.

I am aware of definitions. Guess I'm not being clear enough with my question.

Jay said:
That’s not damned if you do or damned if you don’t because there is a multitude of women who are winning in the exact same circumstances.

Can you please elaborate more on how these multitude of women are winning in spite of their challenges and similar / exact circumstances?

Jay · 2/23/22

ART said:
Can you please elaborate more on how these multitude of women are winning in spite of their challenges and similar / exact circumstances?

Ok, let’s walk this through. You said:

ART said:
If our clock is running out and we get desperate and make the wrong choice (which is extremely easy to do and seems difficult to avoid), we can end up pregnant and abandoned, or attached to a guy not suitable for us such as a struggling guy or an abuser / nut / closet case / hobosexual / player who games women / underachiever / guy with problems that can be challenging to work with.

If your clock is running out and you’re desperate to find a man, whose fault is that? It’s not like your biological clock is unknown. If you know that finding a partner is an important choice why would you wait until the last minute to find one? If you’re buying a home do you go shopping for one a day before your lease is over and you’re on the street? You’re speaking as if women are passive and life is happening, no these are are active choices.

She chose to give herself a short time window.
She was desperate and chose a dirt bag and/or struggling guy.

Her actions in life gave her a short window and a limited market for good men.

art said:
If we do wait for the market to improve and if we do enough to improve ourselves (or not enough), there are either no options or undesirable options left that won't really benefit you and could even cause harm.

If.you wait too long and now all the good men are taken ORRRRRR if you ran off all the good men in your life when your body was banging whose fault is that? Thunk about it, if 100% of the women only want the top 10% of men then you can’t play games because someone is for sure going to end up empty handed.

But the longer you wait, the less of the remaining 90% is available. The cream of the crop in the remaining 90% gets taken and at a certain point all there is left is super average and trash and that’s the marketplace a lot of women end up in BY CHOICE.

It’s also the same msrketplace a lot of women DO NOT end up BY CHOICE. Because they picked well, picked early, and they know that they need their man.

My overall point is that life isn‘t something that happens to you, you are an active contributor to life. Some women are NOT waiting til they’re 36 and a Director of Finance at a company to start looking for a man. Some women snatched up a winner early on in life and held on tight because they understood his importance. Not every women is stuck with a bum or is a baby mama or is desperate because her biological clock is running out. Some people play their cards wrong and want to blame the casino instead of themselves for hitting when they had 20 at a game of Blackjsck.

ART · 2/23/22

Jay said:
Ok, let’s walk this through. You said:

If your clock is running out and you’re desperate to find a man, whose fault is that? It’s not like your biological clock is unknown. If you know that finding a partner is an important choice why would you wait until the last minute to find one? If you’re buying a home do you go shopping for one a day before your lease is over and you’re on the street? You’re speaking as if women are passive and life is happening, no these are are active choices.

She chose to give herself a short time window.

She was desperate and chose a dirt bag and/or struggling guy.

Her actions in life gave her a short window and a limited market for good men.

If.you wait too long and now all the good men are taken ORRRRRR if you ran off all the good men in your life when your body was banging whose fault is that? Thunk about it, if 100% of the women only want the top 10% of men then you can’t play games because someone is for sure going to end up empty handed.

But the longer you wait, the less of the remaining 90% is available. The cream of the crop in the remaining 90% gets taken and at a certain point all there is left is super average and trash and that’s the marketplace a lot of women end up in BY CHOICE.

It’s also the same msrketplace a lot of women DO NOT end up BY CHOICE. Because they picked well, picked early, and they know that they need their man.

My overall point is that life isn‘t something that happens to you, you are an active contributor to life. Some women are NOT waiting til they’re 36 and a Director of Finance at a company to start looking for a man. Some women snatched up a winner early on in life and held on tight because they understood his importance. Not every women is stuck with a bum or is a baby mama or is desperate because her biological clock is running out. Some people play their cards wrong and want to blame the casino instead of themselves for hitting when they had 20 at a game of Blackjsck.

If a young woman has something like ADHD, ASD, or Bipolar that affects social skills, has a serious medical illness, or is in a wheelchair, wouldn't that be a challenge marriage wise or hygergamy wise? I know men who have these problems, but they are at least more likely to be cared for or partnered compared to women who have the same issues, especially since women are a lot more willing to care for and deal men's and others' issues than men do.

Trillfate · 2/23/22

She was lied to

Jay · 2/23/22

ART said:
If a young woman has something like ADHD, ASD, or Bipolar that affects social skills, has a serious medical illness, or is in a wheelchair, wouldn't that be a challenge marriage wise or hygergamy wise? I know men who have these problems, but they are at least more likely to be cared for or partnered compared to women who have the same issues, especially since women are a lot more willing to care for and deal men's and others' issues than men do.

That’s a huge variable and in that case there are factors outside of HER control that she has to adjust for. I’m talking about people that have their full faculties making deliberate choices and then not liking the result.

Lastly, Men with deficiencies are not in some imaginary better position than women. In fact, I bet women who have deficiencies are still looking for the top 10% and overlooking dudes with their same deficiency.

A woman in a wheelchair will be looking for an Idris Elba and after reality hits…settles for a dude in a wheelchair.

ART · 2/23/22

Jay said:
That’s a huge variable and in that case there are factors outside of HER control that she has to adjust for. I’m talking about people that have their full faculties making deliberate choices and then not liking the result.

Lastly, Men with deficiencies are not in some imaginary better position than women. In fact, I bet women who have deficiencies are still looking for the top 10% and overlooking dudes with their same deficiency.

A woman in a wheelchair will be looking for an Idris Elba and after reality hits…settles for a dude in a wheelchair.

I have known of and read about men with ADHD, ASD, and down syndrome marrying decent caliber of women who don't have any notable mental disabilities. If the ADHD/ADD women are okay looking or fun enough, they seem to get some level of success. Bipolar women and women with ASD seem to suffer relationship wise in the long term. I'm not sure what the success rates are with down syndrome women.

I know of relatives and other black people with ADHD / ASD and I notice that even though they are Black, they almost always date out for some reason. As if their mental difference doesn't allow them to feel Black enough and date other Black people. One of them want to only date and marry black, but there aren't many decent options because not only is the ASD population small to begin with, but most Black men with ASD we've come across have a Becky fetish and seem really whitewashed.

Troy · 2/23/22

ART said:
marrying decent caliber of women who don't have any notable mental disabilities

Broke niggas can barely get a woman out here and you want me that niggas with down syndrome out here baggin honies?

`

If Down Syndrome niggas was bagging decent women who didnt have mental issues then there would be no reason for The Business.

Jay · 2/23/22

ART said:
I have known of and read about men with ADHD, ASD, and down syndrome marrying decent caliber of women who don't have any notable mental disabilities. If the ADHD/ADD women are okay looking or fun enough, they seem to get some level of success. Bipolar women and women with ASD seem to suffer relationship wise in the long term. I'm not sure what the success rates are with down syndrome women.

I know of relatives and other black people with ADHD / ASD and I notice that even though they are Black, they almost always date out for some reason. As if their mental difference doesn't allow them to feel Black enough and date other Black people. One of them want to only date and marry black, but there aren't many decent options because not only is the ASD population small to begin with, but most Black men with ASD we've come across have a Becky fetish and seem really whitewashed.

This is deflecting too far from the original point. You said women were damned if they do and damned if they don’t because the lady in the video was getting grief for being a 50 year old virgin. It seemed like you were taking the stance of her being in society rather than her simply having to live with her own decisions. The second we got down to accountability the conversation to special needs.

ART · 2/23/22

Troy said:
Broke niggas can barely get a woman out here and you want me that niggas with down syndrome out here baggin honies?

`

If Down Syndrome niggas was bagging decent women who didnt have mental issues then there would be no reason for The Business.

To be clear, it was a story about a white guy with Down syndrome that owned a business or something and was able to get a decent looking white woman. The story was from years ago so I don't ever remember all the details.

Jay said:
This is deflecting too far from the original point. You said women were damned if they do and damned if they don’t because the lady in the video was getting grief for being a 50 year old virgin. It seemed like you were taking the stance of her being in society rather than her simply having to live with her own decisions. The second we got down to accountability the conversation to special needs.

It's her choice to be and remain a virgin and her choice to pick the mystery bag and hope it's the right choice. I only brought up special needs basically as a, "What if you don't have control in this case and it may cause your options to be limited? What do you do?"

Jay · 2/23/22

ART said:
It's her choice to be and remain a virgin and her choice to pick the mystery bag and hope it's the right choice. I only brought up special needs basically as a, "What if you don't have control in this case and it may cause your options to be limited? What do you do?"

Yup so it's not "damned if you do or damned if you don't" it's "I made my bed and now I lay my head to rest" right?

ART · 2/23/22

Jay said:
Yup so it's not "damned if you do or damned if you don't" it's "I made my bed and now I lay my head to rest" right?

In a lot of cases it is the latter because you do have single women who have kids outside of wedlock, bet on the wrong horse (especially if the horse promises to do better and to give them another chance; she still has a choice to part ways) or put priorities in the wrong areas (life wise or looking for looks and sex over someone of substance). But I don't think that is always the case because I always think about the relationships or marriages that end up failing because a guy sold the woman a lie or was dishonest about who he was/is and how many children he has. Not everything comes up on Google and background checks and people can change or reveal their true colors later in relationships. Red flags are easy to notice, but of they are savvy enough, they can l sneak under the radar.

Another thing I also wonder about is the fate of married women and their desirability if they are over 30 and somehow become widowed single mothers due to the husband dying of illness or tragedy and leaving kids behind. If single mothers aren't desired for many reasons, then wouldn't that included widows with children too? Now I know this another scenario where certain things are beyond her control, but I'm unsure what her viable options would be for another man.

Jay · 2/23/22

ART said:
In a lot of cases it is the latter because you do have single women who have kids outside of wedlock, bet on the wrong horse (especially if the horse promises to do better and to give them another chance; she still has a choice to part ways) or put priorities in the wrong areas (life wise or looking for looks and sex over someone of substance). But I don't think that is always the case because I always think about the relationships or marriages that end up failing because a guy sold the woman a lie or was dishonest about who he was/is and how many children he has. Not everything comes up on Google and background checks and people can change or reveal their true colors later in relationships. Red flags are easy to notice, but of they are savvy enough, they can l sneak under the radar.

Another thing I also wonder about is the fate of married women and their desirability if they are over 30 and somehow become widowed single mothers due to the husband dying of illness or tragedy and leaving kids behind. If single mothers aren't desired for many reasons, then wouldn't that included widows with children too? Now I know this another scenario where certain things are beyond her control, but I'm unsure what her viable options would be for another man.

Yeah but why are you looking at it one-sided? How many relationships fail because the woman doesn't do what she is supposed to do? You are treating women as if they have no agency as if they are some passive observers of life. You have yet to admit that women are in charge of their lives and that they can put themselves in bad situations and need to own it when they do.

Rollie Forbes · 2/23/22

I feel sorry for the guy who does finally deflower that woman.
First of all, that first time will definitely be unsatisfying, and require breh to have the patience of a saint.
Secondly, the man who receives her virginity will NEVER get rid of her. Ever. She will latch on to breh like a pit bull. Dude will have to fake his death and move to Cuba with Tupac in order to ditch shawty.

Jay · 2/23/22

Rollie Forbes said:
I feel sorry for the guy who does finally deflower that woman.
First of all, that first time will definitely be unsatisfying, and require breh to have the patience of a saint.
Secondly, the man who receives her virginity will NEVER get rid of her. Ever. She will latch on to breh like a pit bull. Dude will have to fake his death and move to Cuba with Tupac in order to ditch shawty.
View attachment 1971

sourgrapes · 2/25/22

Red Velvet said:
But religion making you hold out that long girl? That is not normal by any stretch.

Yeah I know what you mean. Even Christians who save themselves for marriage get married early and start babymaking by like the age of 25. This seems like something you would expect from crusty middle-aged white dude who can't function around ladies, not a woman who is attractive.

Troy · 2/25/22

sourgrapes said:
Yeah I know what you mean. Even Christians who save themselves for marriage get married early and start babymaking by like the age of 25. This seems like something you would expect from crusty middle-aged white dude who can't function around ladies, not a woman who is attractive.

Yeah get married at 17 3/4 quarters talking about they waited for marriage.

Sapphire · 2/26/22

If you are a virgin at this age, I am sorry but what are you doing?

This lady clearly has some trauma somewhere and I think it would benefit her to seek out some professional help from a licensed doc (preferably a black woman).

Tati 304 · 2/26/22

Sapphire said:
If you are a virgin at this age, I am sorry but what are you doing?

This lady clearly has some trauma somewhere and I think it would benefit her to seek out some professional help from a licensed doc (preferably a black woman).

I can’t imagine not getting some good loving at the end of the night. It’s helped me through some rough times.

Goldilocks · 2/26/22

ART said:
It seems we women are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If our clock is running out and we get desperate and make the wrong choice (which is extremely easy to do and seems difficult to avoid), we can end up pregnant and abandoned, or attached to a guy not suitable for us such as a struggling guy or an abuser / nut / closet case / hobosexual / player who games women / underachiever / guy with problems that can be challenging to work with. If we do wait for the market to improve and if we do enough to improve ourselves (or not enough), there are either no options or undesirable options left that won't really benefit you and could even cause harm.

This is the reason so many young women aren’t seeking marriage. Honestly if the majority of women had the drive to take care of themselves financially many would opp out of the idea all together. So many restrictions on how to properly “women” and many are contradictory. Couple that with microwave culture and a the need for women to take on none traditionally gender roles but still being held to the standards of gender roles I would say finding happiness within a relationship has presented itself to be a major challenge for many women.

Lamont · 2/26/22

Goldilocks said:
This is the reason so many young women aren’t seeking marriage. Honestly if the majority of women had the drive to take care of themselves financially many would opp out of the idea all together. So many restrictions on how to properly “women” and many are contradictory. Couple that with microwave culture and a the need for women to take on none traditionally gender roles but still being held to the standards of gender roles I would say finding happiness within a relationship has presented itself to be a major challenge for many women.

You are espousing a losing strategy for Black women. Your “independence” is a privilege provided to you by the first world and the men who build the foundation in which all your independence resides. So you don’t end up opting out of marriage, men opt out of providing and protecting for you which results in your lack of marriage. Men do not want a woman who believes her value is in her income/work. Men want a woman who provides that in which he cannot provide himself. Women who think according to your post want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be provided and protected for by men but want to be able to veto him at anytime. It doesn’t work and there is a reason why White, Asian, and Hispanic women are not following this template. The “strong, independent, I don’t need no man” woman is a farce. We see that fall apart the second the comfort of first world society disappears. There’s no strong independent women in Ukraine right now guaranteed.

Goldilocks · 2/26/22

Lamont said:
You are espousing a losing strategy for Black women. Your “independence” is a privilege provided to you by the first world and the men who build the foundation in which all your independence resides. So you don’t end up opting out of marriage, men opt out of providing and protecting for you which results in your lack of marriage. Men do not want a woman who believes her value is in her income/work. Men want a woman who provides that in which he cannot provide himself. Women who think according to your post want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be provided and protected for by men but want to be able to veto him at anytime. It doesn’t work and there is a reason why White, Asian, and Hispanic women are not following this template. The “strong, independent, I don’t need no man” woman is a farce. We see that fall apart the second the comfort of first world society disappears. There’s no strong independent women in Ukraine right now guaranteed.

Yeah you’re clearly on that gender war shit. Because you just went on a rant about something I didn’t say. Ya’ll catch phrases are hilarious. Any time you don’t agree with something it “independent woman” this or that.

I was pointing out the issues and the mix signals women get from what men want vs reality. It has nothing to be with being “independent”.

For example, that’s nice that men don’t care about a woman’s income yet these same men can’t provide for their families without her bringing in additional income. And not part time either, full blow 40+ hour jobs.

So men are the ones not marrying women. And men are the ones in control of dating. Okay cool. Then why is it that men are trending towards having dramatically less sex, purchasing OnlyFans in record numbers and childless. You’re saying this societal trend is because men are choosing to be sexless? Men would rather be sexless and family-less just to avoid marriage? Lol Got it. I would say women are choosing not to be the type of women that men would traditionally marry. Choosing non traditional imo is opting out of marriage which is why so many men are the ones suffering and lacking companionship. But you seem to have it all figured out so we’ll go with that.

Nesut · 2/26/22

Goldilocks said:
Yeah you’re clearly on that gender war shit. Because you just went on a rant about something I didn’t say. Ya’ll catch phrases are hilarious. Any time you don’t agree with something it “independent woman” this or that.

I'm not gender warring, I love my sisters.

Goldilocks said:
For example, that’s nice that men don’t care about a woman’s income yet these same men can’t provide for their families without her bringing in additional income. And not part time either, full blow 40+ hour jobs.

I listen to the Business not red pill nonsense and he makes it clear that brothas need to step their game up. I'm a firm believer that men should be working to double their income. Men should be leveling up to be true providers and protectors. On the flip side women need to know how to vet these men to see who is real and fake. Then also know how to handle and keep a real provider and protector. If that man is holding down the house and bills and being a real one she shouldn't be trying to compete with him and challenge his masculinity.

Goldilocks said:
hen why is it that men are trending towards having dramatically less sex, purchasing OnlyFans in record numbers and childless. Y

Goldilocks said:
Choosing non traditional imo is opting out of marriage which is why so many men are the ones suffering and lacking companionship. But you seem to have it all figured out so we’ll go with that.

Please provide stats. If men are having less sex it means women are having less sex too so I don't see the point. But please bring up stats that show that men are having less sex and how that ties back to women basically divesting from men.

Goldilocks · 2/26/22

Nesut said:
I'm not gender warring, I love my sisters.

I listen to the Business not red pill nonsense and he makes it clear that brothas need to step their game up. I'm a firm believer that men should be working to double their income. Men should be leveling up to be true providers and protectors. On the flip side women need to know how to vet these men to see who is real and fake. Then also know how to handle and keep a real provider and protector. If that man is holding down the house and bills and being a real one she shouldn't be trying to compete with him and challenge his masculinity.

Please provide stats. If men are having less sex it means women are having less sex too so I don't see the point. But please bring up stats that show that men are having less sex and how that ties back to women basically divesting from men.

Goes back to my original point, men speaking in ideals instead of realities. That’s nice what men “should be” doing this and that but that’s not reality. The vast majority of women will never be with a man who doesn’t need her help paying the bills.

Why does the solution always have to be something out of reach for the vast majority of people?

Women are having less sex but the number of men is far greater . Women are having sex with the most desirable men and leaving the others out in the cold.

Why aren't men in their 20s having sex?

27% of men under 30 say they haven't had a female sexual partner since turning 18, more than triple the number who said the same in 2008. What's going on here?

features.inside.com

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high/

“For most of the past three decades, 20-something men and women reported similar rates of sexlessness. But that has changed in recent years. Since 2008, the share of men younger than 30 reporting no sex has nearly tripled, to 28 percent. That’s a much steeper increase than the 8 percentage point increase reported among their female peers.”

300% vs 8% 😂 This is what men are choosing?

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