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As I go into my thirties I am starting to realize that I don't really want kids

GACishere

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Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
 

Boss Hog

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Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
How old are you?
 

Boss Hog

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That changes things young bruh. I’m in my 40’s and things change and I’m not trying to say your experience is not valid but you still have a lot of life to live.

Right now you probably like being able to do what you what, when you want, and you should.

But I wouldn’t rule out children or say you have a definitive ruling on it until you are financial, mentally, and physically where you want to be.

When you have your money right, savings, got a nice place, nice car, stable career/business and then you say “I don’t want kids” that’s when you know it is real.

Right now if none of the above is true then I would say “you just don’t want kids RIGHT NOW”.
 

GACishere

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That changes things young bruh. I’m in my 40’s and things change and I’m not trying to say your experience is not valid but you still have a lot of life to live.

Right now you probably like being able to do what you what, when you want, and you should.

But I wouldn’t rule out children or say you have a definitive ruling on it until you are financial, mentally, and physically where you want to be.

When you have your money right, savings, got a nice place, nice car, stable career/business and then you say “I don’t want kids” that’s when you know it is real.

Right now if none of the above is true then I would say “you just don’t want kids RIGHT NOW”.
well thanks I take that info to heart but i was think about alot of my friends now have baby mama drama from all races and i like " No don't want to turn into that " so that is kind of an another reason i don't want kids, we are living in the baby mama generation but i definitely need self improvement.
 

Boss Hog

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well thanks I take that info to heart but i was think about alot of my friends now have baby mama drama from all races and i like " No don't want to turn into that " so that is kind of an another reason i don't want kids, we are living in the baby mama generation but i definitely need self improvement.
It’s kind of like not flying because some planes crash. Just because some people have baby mama drama doesn’t mean that you will.

You may end up not wanting kids in this life and that’s fine but I personally don’t feel like it’s written in stone yet for you.

I didn’t really want kids until I hit around 29 and was doing pretty good in life and wanted to continue my legacy.

I had the car I wanted, the place I wanted to live, traveled a couple places I wanted to, and I wanted to impart the things I learned onto my progeny.

YMMV.
 

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    You are a guy, you have time on your side. You can legit wait another 20 years and decide to have kids. Just make sure you date younger if you do change your mind. I am on the fence myself. I feel like I will want them more when I am in my 30s. Right now with how the world is and how my finances are being stretched thin, I just can't risk anything.
     

    GwynShivers

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    Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
    This is your time & not time for children. That usually doesn't happen until your 30s. Don't rush, take your time & do what you need to do right now, whatever that may be. You'll know when you're ready.
     

    Jay

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    You are a guy, you have time on your side. You can legit wait another 20 years and decide to have kids. Just make sure you date younger if you do change your mind. I am on the fence myself. I feel like I will want them more when I am in my 30s. Right now with how the world is and how my finances are being stretched thin, I just can't risk anything.
    This is a great point. My grandpa had another kid in his 60’s and I remember seeing my aunt on a swingset as a little girl. I was a pre-teen looking like:

    Confused Kid Cudi GIF by Apple Music
     

    Sapphire

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    This is a great point. My grandpa had another kid in his 60’s and I remember seeing my aunt on a swingset as a little girl. I was a pre-teen looking like:

    Confused Kid Cudi GIF by Apple Music
    Yeah, I hear of men in their 50's and 60's having kids all the time. It sucks women don't have the luxury of waiting. As long as you are healthy, you can probably stretch it to 45 but you are pushing things after 40 really.
     

    Devin

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    Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
    Let me just make a wild guess, you're now more into pets than you feel towards having your own kids?
     

    GwynShivers

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    Let me just make a wild guess, you're now more into pets than you feel towards having your own kids?
    My youngest daughter used to say, "When I get tired of them, I can take them back where they belong". Now, she's 38 & wants them, but having gastrointestinal problems now. 🤷🏽‍♀️
     

    The Haze Of Our Lives

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    Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
    When you are ready Please only date females with BOTH parents are married and in the home. This is where I messed up and it's too late to start over.
     

    Jay

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    Yeah, I hear of men in their 50's and 60's having kids all the time. It sucks women don't have the luxury of waiting. As long as you are healthy, you can probably stretch it to 45 but you are pushing things after 40 really.
    Y’all have to be in physical condition to carry the baby and I think that’s why yall have a biological cut off.
     

    Jay

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    When you are ready Please only date females with BOTH parents are married and in the home. This is where I messed up and it's too late to start over.
    They ain’t always right either there are some demons out here that grew up in two parent households with two parents who were dysfunctional AF. SHould tell the young lad to date a woman and really get to know her at a deep level.

    See what her values are, see how she reacts when she doesn’t get what she wants, see
    If she invests in you and in the relationship. All that good stuff…married and in a two parent household is a good sign but I dated a woman who was a product of a two parent household and her parents hit each other all the time.

    She drove me crazy.
     

    Devin

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    Im childless af and happy

    I like kids but i never wanted the responsibility and I'm anti marriage

    "See i made up my mind when i was 17
    I aint getting no marriage or a weddin ring" - Too Short, ima player 1993
    As long as it's something that makes you feel happy and to crown it all, it's your life and no one can dictate how you should live it.
     

    GACishere

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    Yeah it's funny cause my best friend and I switched places in the sense that when we were younger I wanted to have a family and he wanted no kids and now he is talking about how he wants a daughter and I don't want to have a single child. I just don't see myself as a father, I see myself more like a uncle and i am the only boy in my family so when I was discussing this with my mom she was praying that I have a family so in short at this moment in time i don't want any children Am i the only one that is dealing with this ?
    That is another thing you can't spank/beat your kids if they misbehave anymore cause that is child abuse and you are supposed to reason with them and never beat your kids and I'm like " I know plenty of kids who got their ass beat and turn out fine" .
     

    Boss Hog

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    That is another thing you can't spank/beat your kids if they misbehave anymore cause that is child abuse and you are supposed to reason with them and never beat your kids and I'm like " I know plenty of kids who got their ass beat and turn out fine" .
    Says who? Black kids dont call the cops like that.
     

    Devin

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    That is another thing you can't spank/beat your kids if they misbehave anymore cause that is child abuse and you are supposed to reason with them and never beat your kids and I'm like " I know plenty of kids who got their ass beat and turn out fine" .
    My mother would never ask you. The worst beating that I have ever received in my life is from mother. She beat the holy crap out of me when she found out that I had a girlfriend at 10 years 😂.