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The norm huh? Im so sorry to hear that and apologize on behalf of my gender lol. Yea, coming up the selfish goal was to "get me some" but as we mature and gain experience we're supposed to put her needs first. That way they keep coming back for more. I used to be self conscious about it, like kinda always asking "did you cum?" Or "was it good", something like that to make sure im getting the job done. Nowadays we say things like "beat the punani up" and that's about satisfying her opposed to ourselves, so that's a step in the right direction