The Cookout

Sapphire · 11/28/22

I was talking with some family about this during Thanksgiving and most of the guys in the family said "hell no". One said it depends. Another said sure, it would be less he has to worry about. I am curious to see what you fellas think on this.

Ladies, feel free to chime in about dating men who earn less than you. I personally would not.

Jay · 11/28/22

I would but she couldn't be the type that wants to throw it in my face every time she gets. Some women do not respect a man that makes less than them and I couldn't be in that situation. Because in the end at a physical level I'm the most dominant in the relationship and I'm not going to have someone weaker than me try to boss up on me due to fiat currency.

My other point is that it depends on the difference in earnings. Dating a woman who makes 50k more or 100k more would be easier than dating a woman who makes $1M more. Because a woman who makes $50k - 100k is not going to be doing things that are so far out of your range that you can't afford it.

A woman that makes $1M more is going to be on yachts, traveling to different continents, having fine dining on the Amalfi Coast, and all that is going to be out of the man's budget. So she basically has to pay for the man to participate in her lifestyle. As a man this puts you in a weakened position because when she gets upset you have no veto power.

Best thing to do if you are in that situation is see if she will bankroll your startup.

Trillfate · 11/28/22

Mannnnnnn hell yea. Im a secure black man. Salary doesn't define a person. This aint 1965, that shit don't bother me none.

Paid1nFull · 11/28/22

No, I have an above average income.

Deleted member 1475 · 11/28/22

cjg · 11/28/22

Jay said:
I would but she couldn't be the type that wants to throw it in my face every time she gets. Some women do not respect a man that makes less than them and I couldn't be in that situation. Because in the end at a physical level I'm the most dominant in the relationship and I'm not going to have someone weaker than me try to boss up on me due to fiat currency.

My other point is that it depends on the difference in earnings. Dating a woman who makes 50k more or 100k more would be easier than dating a woman who makes $1M more. Because a woman who makes $50k - 100k is not going to be doing things that are so far out of your range that you can't afford it.

A woman that makes $1M more is going to be on yachts, traveling to different continents, having fine dining on the Amalfi Coast, and all that is going to be out of the man's budget. So she basically has to pay for the man to participate in her lifestyle. As a man this puts you in a weakened position because when she gets upset you have no veto power.

Best thing to do if you are in that situation is see if she will bankroll your startup.

I'm married, so I have an outsider point of view looking in at this point :) But echo this ☝️...

That's the main issue ... Some females want to throw it in your face that they make more ... In the relationship, there should be no rank, so why is the other trying to flex financially , trying to make the other feel less than ..

It's reality, tbf .. women will make more than men in general, so the attitude not dating/marrying one who earns more has to go by the wayside .. but females can't throw it in the guy's face. The ego is fragile, and I feel like this is one reason why male female relationships are so skewed. Attitudes like that are going to lead to our detriment as a people, and that's my opinion ...

But, I may be wrong ... On the flip side, one can push the other, gently ... Make meaning job? Both are possibly one or two paychecks away from being broke, ... It's not how much you make, it's how well you spend it ...

Roparker71 · 11/28/22

My wife and I are both college degree carriers (she has 3 to my 1)... she's an Accountant and I'm a PC/Network Engineer... she makes much more than I do... and I don't have an issue with it...

OTR · 11/29/22

I wouldn't. I could be biased but based on what I've seen around my circle of friends, a lot of women do not handle it graciously. They tend to rub it in the man's face whenever they don't get their way. Furthermore, I was raised in a conservative household where my father was the pretty much the sole provider even though my mum worked full-time too. Mum would buy us clothes, sneakers and take us out etc. I would like to do the same for my family but the woman has to be worthy of that honour. Modern women (not all) however have trash feminist sensibilities when it comes to marriage and relationship dynamics.

OTR · 11/29/22

cjg said:
I'm married, so I have an outsider point of view looking in at this point :) But echo this ☝️...

That's the main issue ... Some females want to throw it in your face that they make more ... In the relationship, there should be no rank, so why is the other trying to flex financially , trying to make the other feel less than ..

It's reality, tbf .. women will make more than men in general, so the attitude not dating/marrying one who earns more has to go by the wayside .. but females can't throw it in the guy's face. The ego is fragile, and I feel like this is one reason why male female relationships are so skewed. Attitudes like that are going to lead to our detriment as a people, and that's my opinion ...

But, I may be wrong ... On the flip side, one can push the other, gently ... Make meaning job? Both are possibly one or two paychecks away from being broke, ... It's not how much you make, it's how well you spend it ...

Black women will make more than men in general in America not the rest of the world. I live in Australia atm and most black men earn more money than the average black girl. The corporate world dynamics are quite different over here plus there isn't that much of an incentive from the govt to kick the father out of the house in comparison to the States.

Reparations_Dbt_Collector · 11/29/22

For sure. There is nothing wrong with marrying a woman who makes more than you; as long as she is level headed, and understands the family dynamics and has her ego in check.

SupremeTankHeadNetic · 11/29/22

A solid man will not have a problem with marrying a woman who makes more money them him. Not all things can be tough in a class room🪞💯

Dsun Black · 11/29/22

It depends, but most women can’t handle being the breadwinner. It’s a constant battle that most men will never win.

1BlackDorian · 11/29/22

As long as she doesn’t get an ego because of it, I’m fine with her making more than me. I still end up paying for dinner anyway 🤷🏾‍♂️

Nat Turner · 11/29/22

Depending on your career fields, you may go back and forth. One of you may even be unemployed and need to go back to school. Don’t let the whims of the economy determine your happiness or the security of your children who need a stable 2 parent home. It’s better if both of you are doing well in different skill sets so the stability is less likely go in the next recession. I’ve been married 20 years and she’s made more money most of the time. The gap has narrowed as my experience and certifications increased. As long as both of you are doing your best in your field and paying your share of the bills, I don’t see the need to judge.

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