The Cookout

[sourgrapes]

I have had some suspicions that one of the girls I work with is in an abusive relationship. I have wanted to say something for a month now but I don't want her to take it the wrong way. She started at our clinic in October so I don't really know her all that well. We have only worked together a few shifts a week since she started. Are there telling signs when a woman is in an abusive relationship? How do you approach something like this?

 

[Red Velvet]

I have had some suspicions that one of the girls I work with is in an abusive relationship. I have wanted to say something for a month now but I don't want her to take it the wrong way. She started at our clinic in October so I don't really know her all that well. We have only worked together a few shifts a week since she started. Are there telling signs when a woman is in an abusive relationship? How do you approach something like this?

Is that the same girl that was talking to you about her problems?

 

[lexodyssey]

Any signs of being controlled are red flags. If she seems nervous when friends ask her to hang out or something like that. I used to know a girl who's boyfriend wouldn't let her pick up extra shifts. She wasn't "allowed" to do anything without him.

 

[Goldilocks]

I have had some suspicions that one of the girls I work with is in an abusive relationship. I have wanted to say something for a month now but I don't want her to take it the wrong way. She started at our clinic in October so I don't really know her all that well. We have only worked together a few shifts a week since she started. Are there telling signs when a woman is in an abusive relationship? How do you approach something like this?

You should mind your business and not assume she is some sort of victim. From my experience abusive relationships are often mutual. I have a co worker that stays getting lumped up by her husband, plays the victim and then we see her sending him tongue 👅 and water💦 emojis. I have also heard her verbally abuse him multiple times.

It’s almost 2022, very few people are stuck in abusive. She has family and plenty resources if she wanted out. I would leave it alone.

 

[sourgrapes]

Is that the same girl that was talking to you about her problems?

No, that was someone else who had been at the clinic longer. This is a new girl. She is younger. Came from out of state. No one really knows anything about her but she has shown up with bruises and stuff.

You should mind your business and not assume she is some sort of victim. From my experience abusive relationships are often mutual. I have a co worker that stays getting lumped up by her husband, plays the victim and then we see her sending him tongue 👅 and water💦 emojis. I have also heard her verbally abuse him multiple times.

It’s almost 2022, very few people are stuck in abusive. She has family and plenty resources if she wanted out. I would leave it alone.

You are probably right. I should just keep my nose out of it. It is just hard at times cause I have family members who were in abusive relationships before. I'll just leave it be. I mean if something gets out of control, I am sure someone else in the clinic will say something.

 

[Jay_Judah202]

You should mind your business and not assume she is some sort of victim. From my experience abusive relationships are often mutual. I have a co worker that stays getting lumped up by her husband, plays the victim and then we see her sending him tongue 👅 and water💦 emojis. I have also heard her verbally abuse him multiple times.

It’s almost 2022, very few people are stuck in abusive. She has family and plenty resources if she wanted out. I would leave it alone.

I hate to say it but this is true. Some women are addicted to chaos....and they turn on you when you try to help.

 

[Sapphire]

I knew someone in school who went from one abusive dude to the next and I feel like it is because she didn't value herself enough to know she shouldn't be treated that way. It is sad seeing women feel they deserve this kind of treatment.

 

[TeeGee]

I knew someone in school who went from one abusive dude to the next and I feel like it is because she didn't value herself enough to know she shouldn't be treated that way. It is sad seeing women feel they deserve this kind of treatment.

For real though, I once was in a conversation with a lady friend of mine and she said she can't be in a relationship with a guy who is too soft and doesn't beat her or hits her from time to time. I was like WTF!!

 

[JerriBun]

For real though, I once was in a conversation with a lady friend of mine and she said she can't be in a relationship with a guy who is too soft and doesn't beat her or hits her from time to time. I was like WTF!!

Sounds like there's a lot of trauma in her past... YIKES!

 

[RCNAL]

The best you can do is form a friendship, a bond and hopefully she will open up over time if you build a relationship where she can trust you. And if that happens, she won't leave that abusive relationship untiil she is mentally & emotionally ready to.

If you do try to build a relationship though, just understand it's going to try the F out of you emotionally and mentally and possibly physically if the guy feels you are crossing the line and then threatens you physically. Basically, be prepared for a rough road.

 

[Sapphire]

For real though, I once was in a conversation with a lady friend of mine and she said she can't be in a relationship with a guy who is too soft and doesn't beat her or hits her from time to time. I was like WTF!!

These ladies need help. I feel like that is some deep seeded daddy issues or something. That is not a normal thought or feeling to have!

 

[TeeGee]

These ladies need help. I feel like that is some deep seeded daddy issues or something. That is not a normal thought or feeling to have!

A mindset like that could only be birthed from been exposed to physically and emotionally abuse from a young age and it would take some extra effort from therapist and psychologist to get that off her head.

I hope she finds someone who understands her enough and is willing to help her though.

 

[Heatice]

For real though, I once was in a conversation with a lady friend of mine and she said she can't be in a relationship with a guy who is too soft and doesn't beat her or hits her from time to time. I was like WTF!!

Seriously, whenever I hear a lady say that, I'd be worried and wondering how it all got to that? There's no fun in it for any reason whatsoever but you see them liking it and probably enjoying it. How's getting hit be enjoyed? A lot of them are really damaged in ways that can't be conceived and they need serious help.

 

[Barida]

Always check her moods when she answers calls from her lover. Often times, women in love feel cheerful when recieving calls from the man that they love especially when he is in love too. I have never gotten it wrong by observing such in my female friends.