As I cruise through the online streets of social media all I see at every turn is posts and panels of black men and black women going at each other’s throats. Black men won’t do this, black women won’t do that. So much of the arguments are centered on what we disagree with but very rarely is a discussion had on what we do agree on but that conversation never goes further than “We need to come together”. When I hear this it literally bears no substance. Here is why. Who you agree with is just as important as what you agree on. I mean this in an intimate relationship context. I see panels on youtube and all the conversations revolve around intimate relationships. Out of all the content you watch how many are people are intimately involved with the people they are debating or exchanging perspectives with… only a few.
So what I'm getting at is this while I do believe the discussion needs to be had, I have questions about the people having it. Most if not all of them claim to be single, they all claim to have their shit together, they all claim to be a person of value. So my initial thought is why aren’t these people pairing up, these people are compatible people right… well, obviously not. So I have concluded that “We want what we want and only want it from who we want it from.” This isn’t new but it never gets said. A lot of it comes down to looks. Attractiveness starts with the physical and then we hope everything else falls into place beyond that. This is a problem we all have including myself. In carrying on the conversation the way it's been presented we are pretty much trying petition to someone that doesn’t want us, why they should want us and why they should change for us. Or That person wants us but there are some attributes that we want them to change, and that they should change for us because we think we are worth it. It’s a perpetuating cycle. That doesn’t work. I admit that it's growing more and more difficult for people to find someone who aligns with them. But these general blanketed conversations won't fix the conflict or advance the conversation. When you listen to the conversations had and black men and black women air out their grievances about each other you’ll notice that each of their problems is segmented to a certain category or percentage of men and women. But then they will dip back into that same pool in hopes of finding something different. If you go fishing in a lake full of piranhas at what point do you realize there’s no salmon.
To be continued....
So what I'm getting at is this while I do believe the discussion needs to be had, I have questions about the people having it. Most if not all of them claim to be single, they all claim to have their shit together, they all claim to be a person of value. So my initial thought is why aren’t these people pairing up, these people are compatible people right… well, obviously not. So I have concluded that “We want what we want and only want it from who we want it from.” This isn’t new but it never gets said. A lot of it comes down to looks. Attractiveness starts with the physical and then we hope everything else falls into place beyond that. This is a problem we all have including myself. In carrying on the conversation the way it's been presented we are pretty much trying petition to someone that doesn’t want us, why they should want us and why they should change for us. Or That person wants us but there are some attributes that we want them to change, and that they should change for us because we think we are worth it. It’s a perpetuating cycle. That doesn’t work. I admit that it's growing more and more difficult for people to find someone who aligns with them. But these general blanketed conversations won't fix the conflict or advance the conversation. When you listen to the conversations had and black men and black women air out their grievances about each other you’ll notice that each of their problems is segmented to a certain category or percentage of men and women. But then they will dip back into that same pool in hopes of finding something different. If you go fishing in a lake full of piranhas at what point do you realize there’s no salmon.
To be continued....
