The Cookout

Caprice · 9/29/21

The question, "what do you bring to the table?" has been stirring up a lot of controversy lately. What would you say if someone asked you that question?

I've actually been asked that before....

Boy bye! No one should have to ask this question if they're having real conversations. But some people answer and start trying to prove their worth. Most women start mentioning, "I cook, clean, operate in my feminine energy...." Sigh. There is only one you and if that person doesn't see what you bring to the table, then they shouldn't have a seat. If they don't notice your worth and your value, then again....

My response would be "I am the table." Tf. You're enough ;)

But what are your thoughts?

Jay · 9/29/21

I don’t think it’s a bad question if asked correctly e.g. ”What do you bring to the table in a relationship?’ As a man, I think it‘s a valid question because there are women who demand we be the table but then all they bring to it is a vagina so that’s when we ask “hmmm, what are you bringing?’ Now a woman doesnt necessarily have to bring anything to a man that is holding it down but the less she brings the more submissive she is going to have to be.

There’s a large amount of women who think they can demand the world of men but we cannot demand anything of them, they want to cherry pick the traditional aspects of relationships that suit them and then want to reject the rest. I gotta be provider, protector, etc while she runs around trying to be like Meg the stallion…nope. I’ll be the provider and protector but what you gotta bring to the table is nurturer and home maker.

sourgrapes · 9/29/21

I have never been asked this but I feel like it is fair for both people involved in a relationship to be upfront with their morals, needs, and desires. Like if I desire to be a stay-at-home mother after I have children, the man I am with needs to be able to be okay with that and work a high enough paying job to support us. I would do the upkeep at home so he just has to worry about working and providing financial stability. If I didn't bring this up and ended up having a child with a dude who expects me to work, we'd run into problems.

I never understood the whole beating around the dang bush when it comes to dating. It doesn't matter if it is day one or not, talk about the serious things right away so you aren't wasting their time and they aren't wasting yours. Just my opinion on it all.

lexodyssey · 9/29/21

I think it's all in how it's asked. It just can't be asked as if this is an interview, and I'm trying to prove why you should spend time on me. We can work on getting to know each other and, sometime during that time, determine what either one of us brings to the table. As @sourgrapes said, everything needs to be addressed, and the expectations need to be laid out, or you'll run into problems later on.

Jay · 9/29/21

lexodyssey said:
I think it's all in how it's asked. It just can't be asked as if this is an interview, and I'm trying to prove why you should spend time on me. We can work on getting to know each other and, sometime during that time, determine what either one of us brings to the table. As @sourgrapes said, everything needs to be addressed, and the expectations need to be laid out, or you'll run into problems later on.

It took me two whole damn paragraphs to try to say this same thing.

sourgrapes · 9/30/21

lexodyssey said:
I think it's all in how it's asked. It just can't be asked as if this is an interview, and I'm trying to prove why you should spend time on me. We can work on getting to know each other and, sometime during that time, determine what either one of us brings to the table. As @sourgrapes said, everything needs to be addressed, and the expectations need to be laid out, or you'll run into problems later on.

Exactly! Better to realize you are not a good match earlier on cause the longer you wait, invest your time, your feelings, your funds into the relationship the harder it will be down the road when you realize things just aren't going to work out.

Boss Hog · 9/30/21

sourgrapes said:
Exactly! Better to realize you are not a good match earlier on cause the longer you wait, invest your time, your feelings, your funds into the relationship the harder it will be down the road when you realize things just aren't going to work out.

...or when a baby is in the picture.

sourgrapes · 10/1/21

Boss Hog said:
...or when a baby is in the picture.

I don't envy people in this position! Not by a long shot.

Jay · 10/1/21

sourgrapes said:
I don't envy people in this position! Not by a long shot.

Child support court is in the cards.

Boss Hog · 10/2/21

Jay said:
Child support court is in the cards.

Pockets will be pat.

Tati 304 · 10/2/21

If he can't see it he can't taste it.

The Cookout

What Do You Bring To The Table?

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