The Cookout

Jay said:

For me, moving too fast is when the expectations demanded from your partner are greater than the bond you share. For instance:

• We met two weeks ago, been on 3 dates and you want me to meet your children.
• We met a month ago and you want to introduce me to your mom and dad.
• We met 2 months ago and you want me to go to your company holiday party as your Fiancé.
• We are 6 months into the relationship and you want to move in with me.

I don't like to put time gates on things because life doesn't work that way, IMO, @Ubiquity I look at in terms of "doing the work". Are you having the right conversations to get to know one another. Are you building a foundation of love and trust and are your prioritizing that over sex? You could be with someone for a year and they say "I love you" but you've only had superficial conversation. So while they met your time requirements the love could be every bit as superficial as it could be at 4 months.

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Ubiquity said:

Love is a verb not an adjective and there is nothing within 6 mo's outside of kindness that I could call love. Folks have it confused. I love everybody- adjective, but I don't love everybody- verb, I can actually be considered a hater in some regards! Some times love is even a noun or pro noun depending on how I'm feeling and who I'm talking to so my Grandmama told me to watch what they do, don't listen to what they say..

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Jay said:

...and that may be true but a year doesn't magically make love possible either. You could have superficial conversations for 5 years with someone and still never truly be in love because you don't really know the other person. That's all I'm saying.

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