The Cookout

Jay · 2/2/23

This is something I constantly struggle with but I’m getting better. Do you know the value of your time? Do you cherish it like the non-replenishable commodity that it is? When did you learn to start giving certain people the Heisman stance?

RCNAL · 2/2/23

I knew better and over time, I've pretty much eliminated many. On a go forward basis I only befriend those who can sharpen steel. If you see me associate with anyone that doesn't fit that mode, its because we have history going way back before I practiced it.

The Honorable · 2/2/23

It depends on what you mean by time. Hanging out, engaging in text messages, or etc? I'm a very mission focused brotha so I don't apply time to anything that does not move me forward. So I do this by default. However, I have had an ex or two I've let linger around a bit too long. I believe that is where my one soft spot lies.

GwynShivers · 2/2/23

Jay said:
This is something I constantly struggle with but I’m getting better. Do you know the value of your time? Do you cherish it like the non-replenishable commodity that it is? When did you learn to start giving certain people the Heisman stance?

Time is valuable & you can't get it back. When I detect an unnecessary change of attitude developing, I end the conversation or the visit.

ProMoatBlack · 2/2/23

As I became more conscious of self and the plight our people face I found myself separating from those in my former circles who were content with the status quo. I remember the Kapernick situation had me looking at everyone I knew who watched football with the stank eye. Everytime a police killing occurs I get re triggered and I resort back to focusing on my immediate situation. Im too much of a rida in that I have to focus on the family im growing instead of lashing out at the dominant society in a way that would take my life away. I know there are others who feel as I do but when situations occur I cant handle the complacency so I have to reset.

The Haze Of Our Lives · 2/2/23

At the slight sign of wrong doing or illegal acts they are outta there.

Deleted member 191 · 2/2/23

If I observe them doing things to others or at the expense of others that I wouldn't want done to me, then I definitely change my approach with them. If it's obvious that my values and theirs don't align, then I usually make it a point to keep them distant.

My struggle is when it's someone I care a great deal for, it's very hard to accept that you need to downgrade them. I'm going through it now with someone I considered my best friend since 2002. At the end of the day, we're no longer in alignment and the things she stands for and some of her views, particularly as it pertains to black people (she's also black btw), is too much to dismiss anymore and so, our communication has pretty much been non-existent for a number of months now.

ZxBro · 2/2/23

It's a learned trait certain people I consider "energy vampires" the older you get the more you value your peace and focus. You'll learn to peep these types out sooner than later saving yourself time in the process. ✊🏿💯

Terrymist · 2/2/23

If I see anything that is non-constructive, or about to turn non-constructive, I move it away. This is an on-going process.

Deleted member 231 · 2/2/23

When I had a kid. That flipped everything on its head. I'm not even polite about it anymore.

Jay · 2/2/23

The Honorable said:
It depends on what you mean by time. Hanging out, engaging in text messages, or etc? I'm a very mission focused brotha so I don't apply time to anything that does not move me forward. So I do this by default. However, I have had an ex or two I've let linger around a bit too long. I believe that is where my one soft spot lies.

In general. For me personally, I have no problem not giving people my time in person. It's the communication that comes through over text and things like that. Sometimes I'll give someone more texts than they deserve.

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When Did You Realize That Not Everyone is Worth Your Time?

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