The Cookout

sourgrapes · 10/13/21

There is a nice area I have been looking into for when I buy a house. I saw a number of houses in my price range that would be perfect for me. Problem is, I found out my ex and his girlfriend bought a house out there earlier this year. I don't know where but I am being put off by it now. I honestly don't want to run into him or her. I know they had a kid together a few years back as well. I only know all this cause she is a nurse too and was a temp at my clinic a few weeks back to fill in since we have been short-staffed. One of my co-workers told me about it. What would you do in this position?

Rollie Forbes · 10/13/21

I'd buy the house. There's no law that says you have to speak to your ex's family or entertain them, unless you want to.
Move on, and move into your new house.

Stan Zero · 10/13/21

It's a small world, don't let the past weigh you down. How close would you be to his house? I see a few of my exes from time to time. We sometimes say hi to each other, but that's really it. Each of them moved on and I moved on as well. It does kinda suck seeing them, because there were a few I really loved. But you get used to it.

So yeah, I second what Rollie said above.

If the house was good, I'd for sure get the house.

lexodyssey · 10/13/21

I guess it depends on how close you would be to him but if it felt right, I would move there. If you would just occasionally see them, I wouldn't let that stop you. It sucks but you can't let someone from your past dictate your future.

Jay · 10/13/21

Rollie Forbes said:
I'd buy the house. There's no law that says you have to speak to your ex's family or entertain them, unless you want to.
Move on, and move into your new house.
View attachment 406

Yup that’s how I see it too…if the place fit my needs I’m sliding in.

Blackgravity · 10/14/21

sourgrapes said:
There is a nice area I have been looking into for when I buy a house. I saw a number of houses in my price range that would be perfect for me. Problem is, I found out my ex and his girlfriend bought a house out there earlier this year. I don't know where but I am being put off by it now. I honestly don't want to run into him or her. I know they had a kid together a few years back as well. I only know all this cause she is a nurse too and was a temp at my clinic a few weeks back to fill in since we have been short-staffed. One of my co-workers told me about it. What would you do in this position?

1st issue, never let someone else keep you from doing what you want, regardless of who they are. 2nd, unless you still have some feeling's for him, this sounds like you could be a little jealous ,I'm not saying you are. I would never let an ex determine my moves... you only get one shot at this game called life, live it for you, no one else.
Make the move if it's right for you.

sourgrapes · 10/14/21

Thanks for the replies. The reason why I don't want to run into him is that he was a possessive and abusive jerk. Once I cut ties with people, I don't want to see them again as well. I have burned a number of bridges over the years and while I hear about people from my past, I seldom ever see them which I am thankful for.

I think you guys are right though. I shouldn't let this dictate anything. I mean there is a good chance he ends up moving again or lives in a spot where I never even see him anyways. I just have to make sure it is not the same street. lol

Goldilocks · 10/16/21

I wouldn't let the past keep me from the future. But I do understand your reservations

Lamont · 10/16/21

sourgrapes said:
Thanks for the replies. The reason why I don't want to run into him is that he was a possessive and abusive jerk. Once I cut ties with people, I don't want to see them again as well. I have burned a number of bridges over the years and while I hear about people from my past, I seldom ever see them which I am thankful for.

I think you guys are right though. I shouldn't let this dictate anything. I mean there is a good chance he ends up moving again or lives in a spot where I never even see him anyways. I just have to make sure it is not the same street. lol

In this case, it would not be a move I would make. Having to see an abuser would bring back all the bad emotions in me.

sourgrapes · 10/17/21

Lamont said:
In this case, it would not be a move I would make. Having to see an abuser would bring back all the bad emotions in me.

That is why I am on the fence about it. The dude legit told me he would kill me a few times. Not the kind of person I ever want to see again. If I knew the chances were slim, I would go check out some houses. I still might. Not sure.

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