Me (Male, 32), met this stunning girl at spin class about 10 months ago. She was young (24), and we instantly hit it off. One day she invited me to a group dinner, and when I went there she was pretty close to another guy (holding hands, being very close), I figured it was her boyfriend, but when she introduced me to him she called him a friend.
I instantly wrote her off. I would see her at spin class every evening after work but I would keep it cordial. Then a month later she texted me asking to hang out, saying she broke up with her ex. She put herself in my orbit, sending me snaps of herself winking at me, it was pretty obvious. When we hung out the chemistry was amazing. We went on several dates, and nothing physical happened.
***No matter what happened after this, he should have put her in the Jump Off category...but he didn't!***
Fast forward to April, and I took her to a sporting event (tickets weren't cheap), then we went back to my place and finally had sex. I've never experienced better sex than this. Over the next several weeks we started hanging out pretty much everyday. She was struggling financially and I even paid her rent for a month (stupid I know), but I really cared about her.
***He's giving a jump off Wife Material Treatment, this is going to end badly***
I would remember everything she tells me, would buy her gifts, would go out of my way to make her feel happy and comfortable. When I asked if she wanted us to be exclusive, she told me she still has feelings for her ex and isn't ready yet. In my mind we were dating since at this point in time we hung out practically everyday together and had a lot of sleepovers, plus doing things like hiking, snowboarding, and many more activities together.
.***He still didn't change course after this. It was another opportunity to put her in the Jump Off category but he did not. ***
After a while I noticed that I was putting in way more effort than she was. Picking her up from work, driving her home, leaving her favorite books at her mailbox, etc. Then she went cold
A lot of my messages were ignored. I played it cool when I saw her at spin class, but then I noticed she was pretty flirty with another guy at the class. Teasing him, playfully touching his arm, laughing hard at his jokes, etc. Then yesterday I was at the class and I overheard them talking about meeting up. My heart hurt.
I played it cool in class, but as soon as it was over I drove home and when I reached my apartment I cried. I never in my life cared more for another human being outside of my family, But no more. I'm not a second option. I now realize she didn't reciprocate these feelings.
Right now its hard to focus on work, I skipped the spin class today because I didn't want to see her. My question is, how do I get over the pain? Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you all, god bless.