The Cookout

[corneliusb]

I'm 34 (married at 25) and the screening process for choosing a wife, at the time, didn't include whether or not she saw herself as black first.

Now I'm starting to see the thin veneer of a happy union starting to erode and fade away.

It started with annoyances she would have with the media I would listen to. Exaggerated sighs and eye rolls. When pressed on what the problem was the answer was always "why is he talking to them like that?" or "I don't like his/their attitude."

It's not affecting the children (we have 2) so far, but I don't want it to get to the point where whatever her problem is influences them.

I don't know if divorce/separation would do more harm than good towards not to me but to the children....

 

[Rollie Forbes]

Who do you listen to that she has a problem with?

 

[Jay]

I'm 34 (married at 25) and the screening process for choosing a wife, at the time, didn't include whether or not she saw herself as black first.

Now I'm starting to see the thin veneer of a happy union starting to erode and fade away.

It started with annoyances she would have with the media I would listen to. Exaggerated sighs and eye rolls. When pressed on what the problem was the answer was always "why is he talking to them like that?" or "I don't like his/their attitude."

It's not affecting the children (we have 2) so far, but I don't want it to get to the point where whatever her problem is influences them.

I don't know if divorce/separation would do more harm than good towards not to me but to the children....

It depends on if they are a coon IMO. She could easily be in agreement with Black empowerment but not like The Black Authority or any other personality.

What I would be concerned with is what environment are we creating for the kids. Are we raising the next Fred Hampton or the next Herschel Walker.

I feel that as long as the agenda is the same you can work through. If you B1 and she is D1 y’all will start clashing.

 

[Blackgravity]

I have an aunt who's a hardcore Christian but is married to a Muslim, they've been together over 35 years. The reason it's lasted for so long is out of shear respect for one another's beliefs, and respect for each other.
What exactly is it she's having a problem with? The message or the messenger?

 

[corneliusb]

Who do you listen to that she has a problem with?

From Jason to Prof. Blacktruth to Tariq....even Your World and the African Diaspora channels sometimes.

 

[corneliusb]

I have an aunt who's a hardcore Christian but is married to a Muslim, they've been together over 35 years. The reason it's lasted for so long is out of shear respect for one another's beliefs, and respect for each other.
What exactly is it she's having a problem with? The message or the messenger?

She SAYS it's their "tone" and being "disrespectful" when asked but I didn't press pass that.

 

[corneliusb]

It depends on if they are a coon IMO. She could easily be in agreement with Black empowerment but not like The Black Authority or any other personality.

What I would be concerned with is what environment are we creating for the kids. Are we raising the next Fred Hampton or the next Herschel Walker.

I feel that as long as the agenda is the same you can work through. If you B1 and she is D1 y’all will start clashing.

DEFINITELY not any Herschel Walkers in my household.

 

[Jay]

She SAYS it's their "tone" and being "disrespectful" when asked but I didn't press pass that.

DEFINITELY not any Herschel Walkers in my household.

Well if there aint any cooning going on think of it like he not liking sports or any other show.

 

[Red Velvet]

She SAYS it's their "tone" and being "disrespectful" when asked but I didn't press pass that.

Well that’s everyone’s reaction to Jason Black especially a couple years ago when he was 10x worse. He used to really rip into them for the slightest reasona.

 

[Blackqueen64]

I don't believe that you should leave your wife just because she does not have a B1 mindset at this time. Did you have a B1 mindset when you married her? If not, then give her time to learn and be patient with her. Show her what being B1 is in how you treat her by treating like the Black queen she is whether she knows that now or not.

Being B1 to me also means striving to build a strong Black family unit, which is the key to having a strong Black community. It is so important to the children's wellbeing to show them what Black love looks and feels like. If physical or mental violence is not involved, then I would advise you to stay together. However, it is your life and only you can make the final decision, just weight and analyze the consequence seriously.

 

[Blackgravity]

I don't believe that you should leave your wife just because she does not have a B1 mindset at this time. Did you have a B1 mindset when you married her? If not, then give her time to learn and be patient with her. Show her what being B1 is in how you treat her by treating like the Black queen she is whether she knows that now or not.

Being B1 to me also means striving to build a strong Black family unit, which is the key to having a strong Black community. It is so important to the children's wellbeing to show them what Black love looks and feels like. If physical or mental violence is not involved, then I would advise you to stay together. However, it is your life and only you can make the final decision, just weight and analyze the consequence seriously.

very good points.

 

[Deleted member 231]

She SAYS it's their "tone" and being "disrespectful" when asked but I didn't press pass that

Jason Black is a very acquired taste for those who like their medicine diluted.....someone actually called his show a few months back saying the same thing about their spouse. It wasn't you was it?

 

[Deleted member 231]

Well that’s everyone’s reaction to Jason Black especially a couple years ago when he was 10x worse. He used to really rip into them for the slightest reasona.

lololol

 

[The Honorable]

I don't believe that you should leave your wife just because she does not have a B1 mindset at this time. Did you have a B1 mindset when you married her? If not, then give her time to learn and be patient with her. Show her what being B1 is in how you treat her by treating like the Black queen she is whether she knows that now or not.

Being B1 to me also means striving to build a strong Black family unit, which is the key to having a strong Black community. It is so important to the children's wellbeing to show them what Black love looks and feels like. If physical or mental violence is not involved, then I would advise you to stay together. However, it is your life and only you can make the final decision, just weight and analyze the consequence seriously.

I came in to say this but you beat me to It. Great post sis.

Jason Black is a very acquired taste for those who like their medicine diluted.....someone actually called his show a few months back saying the same thing about their spouse. It wasn't you was it?

Absolutely. He is very polarizing. He chewed me out once and I took 6 months off from listening.

 

[corneliusb]

I don't believe that you should leave your wife just because she does not have a B1 mindset at this time. Did you have a B1 mindset when you married her? If not, then give her time to learn and be patient with her. Show her what being B1 is in how you treat her by treating like the Black queen she is whether she knows that now or not.

Being B1 to me also means striving to build a strong Black family unit, which is the key to having a strong Black community. It is so important to the children's wellbeing to show them what Black love looks and feels like. If physical or mental violence is not involved, then I would advise you to stay together. However, it is your life and only you can make the final decision, just weight and analyze the consequence seriously.

valid.
thanks for this.

 

[corneliusb]

Jason Black is a very acquired taste for those who like their medicine diluted.....someone actually called his show a few months back saying the same thing about their spouse. It wasn't you was it?

nah. that wasn't me. i know who you're talking about tho. older guy

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

Today is a very serious time in history.Asians are asian first.Whites are white first.Even africans are african first.Whats so wrong wit putting us first and nothing Else.Everyone else does it and they have everything we are trying to build right NOW.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

I think it doesnt matter who was saying it or whoevers broadcast it was, mfs just scared.

 

[Jay]

I think it doesnt matter who was saying it or whoevers broadcast it was, mfs just scared.

Yeah because B1 means you have to get up off your ass and do the work.

 

[The Honorable]

Today is a very serious time in history.Asians are asian first.Whites are white first.Even africans are african first.Whats so wrong wit putting us first and nothing Else.Everyone else does it and they have everything we are trying to build right NOW.

When we are B1 we are called militant.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

That is EXACTLY what we are.

 

[Geoff]

Are you seriously thinking about breaking up your family?

 

[Mastamind]

Those are common, very common critiques about those guys, all of them, and I've heard them from some of the most solid individuals from all across the diaspora. It's not worth breaking up your marriage but if it bothers you so much communication is vital. Ask her how she feels, and have a detailed, mature conversation. You have to understand that everyone won't agree with everything you do, even if they are like minded.