I totally and wholeheartedly feel where you're coming from, bro. But what I will say is this, the older I get, the more I have to acknowledge that we can't write off anything they do toward us as innocent. And that's where I have to disagree with you ever so slightly on your overlooking of it not being a sinister plot to dominate us. White people are nothing if not clever. Especially when it counts. We can't lose sight of that. That's how they're wired even if THEY themselves don't consciously realize it.
We all can enjoy and probably have enjoyed a smash and dash phase. I lived by that philosophy in my roaring 20s because I, (and based on your post I feel like maybe you too, but I could be wrong) "played in the snow". But with age comes wisdom and knowledge. Back when I was making reckless and stupid decisions with no bearing as to what it really meant on a larger scale, a romp in the sheets with Ken or Kyle was nothing more than JUST THAT. Today as I approach my late 30s armed with more evolved and developed understanding of our situation, position and status as Black Americans in a White America, my recognition of their bullshit is more in-depth than it was back then. For example, as a black woman I realize that a relationship with Ken or Kyle simply isn't viable. They don't really want me, that is to say they don't desire me. They just want to have the distinction of saying they had me, meaning I'm just a fetish, a bucket list item to check off. Understanding that today, is no longer sufficient for my psyche because again, my understanding of life, love, Blackness, White America, relationships and so many other factors has evolved in the last 12-15years. Now, if that's not a hinderance and it's all about getting some strange then more power to you. My 20-somthing-yr old self is fist bumping you all day. But for me, the best I can say is I'm grown now and my values and my outlooks have changed. Also, and I think most importantly, I can't claim or purport a B1 philosophy if I'm laying with my open enemy. Flat out. That would be like me telling everybody on this thread to eat healthy but my goofy ass is over here eating McDonald's for breakfast, Rally's fries for lunch and Burger King for dinner, y'know what I'm sayin'. It's hypocritical at a minimum and a lack of self-awareness at most.
So, again although I agree with you on a basic level that some of us like to hit and quit, smash and dash. After one evolves and elevates their understanding beyond the basic threshold, desiring our open enemy, even casually, and I hate to say it like this, but it makes us look less proud to be black and less proud to desire black.
I'm sure we may agree to disagree on this on the larger scale, but on your general point, I get where you're coming from.