The Cookout

[MR-D-ROB]

View: https://youtu.be/6yL29dW8jXI


1. The thing I see a lot of black women have a problem with is that the quality she speaks of takes time. Black women want that right away.

2. Black women are poor at assessing potential. They want the results upfront. They can't see a guy who has potential and get with him and see that potential through.

3. Black women take an all of the above strategy. What I mean by this is that they want a guy who checks every box. He is a certain height, he is a certain complexion, he makes a certain amount of money, he has a house, he has a nice car, he looks a certain way etc. Now I get that you were going to want to be with someone that you find attractive, but with black women, if the guy doesn't meet every single check box then they write them off.

_________________________________________

Here's how that plays on the other side with Becky, Rosario, Ling etc.

1/2. Women of other races are a lot better at assessing potential. They see a guy who may not be making that much money but they realize he has potential. They get with him early on and see that potential through and the guy grows. Since that girl was with him when he had nothing he really values her now that he is doing well for himself.

3. Women of other races tend to look at the overall picture. Even if the guy isn't exactly what she wants she is willing to talk to him and see how things work. Maybe the guy isn't as tall. Maybe the guy doesn't drive the kind of car that she would like to see him driving. Women of other races can write these things off and get to know a guy for who he is. Maybe the guy was driving a Honda or Toyota and she would rather see him in a BMW. She takes the time to get to know the guy and as he grows now he's able to get that BMW.

_----------------------------------------------------------

Black women get upset when they see a successful black man with a woman of another race. What they fail to realize is this is the guy that would have shot down because he wasn't successful when they woman met him!

 

[Sovereign]

View: https://youtu.be/6yL29dW8jXI


1. The thing I see a lot of black women have a problem with is that the quality she speaks of takes time. Black women want that right away.

2. Black women are poor at assessing potential. They want the results upfront. They can't see a guy who has potential and get with him and see that potential through.

3. Black women take an all of the above strategy. What I mean by this is that they want a guy who checks every box. He is a certain height, he is a certain complexion, he makes a certain amount of money, he has a house, he has a nice car, he looks a certain way etc. Now I get that you were going to want to be with someone that you find attractive, but with black women, if the guy doesn't meet every single check box then they write them off.

_________________________________________

Here's how that plays on the other side with Becky, Rosario, Ling etc.

1/2. Women of other races are a lot better at assessing potential. They see a guy who may not be making that much money but they realize he has potential. They get with him early on and see that potential through and the guy grows. Since that girl was with him when he had nothing he really values her now that he is doing well for himself.

3. Women of other races tend to look at the overall picture. Even if the guy isn't exactly what she wants she is willing to talk to him and see how things work. Maybe the guy isn't as tall. Maybe the guy doesn't drive the kind of car that she would like to see him driving. Women of other races can write these things off and get to know a guy for who he is. Maybe the guy was driving a Honda or Toyota and she would rather see him in a BMW. She takes the time to get to know the guy and as he grows now he's able to get that BMW.

_----------------------------------------------------------

Black women get upset when they see a successful black man with a woman of another race. What they fail to realize is this is the guy that would have shot down because he wasn't successful when they woman met him!

Is it really just Black women though? We definitely have our issues but are our woman that different than other races? I don’t think so. We see this prevalent across the board but the difference being that Black women have a lower pool of high caliber males due to white supremacy. There’s not this huge pool of Black men that make it to the upper tiers of society and then abandon Black women. Look at the average salaries for Black men.

 

[The Honorable]

3. Women of other races tend to look at the overall picture. Even if the guy isn't exactly what she wants she is willing to talk to him and see how things work. Maybe the guy isn't as tall. Maybe the guy doesn't drive the kind of car that she would like to see him driving. Women of other races can write these things off and get to know a guy for who he is. Maybe the guy was driving a Honda or Toyota and she would rather see him in a BMW. She takes the time to get to know the guy and as he grows now he's able to get that BMW.

If this was true we’d have a lessor baby mama pandemic due to Black women’s high standards. Black women settle for low achieving Black men way too much to the point that it hurts the community. A black man could have no car, no job but babble about getting an LLC to start a record label and get a woman pregnant. Pookie, RAy Ray and Lil’ Slug are getting all the women in the hood.

 

[Jay]

We as Black men need to step our damn game up as a collective. Black woman’s frame of mind is directly attached to our inability to lead. The women follow competent men and if we are not being that then of course they will follow white daddy. I don’t think Black women are anymore picky than any other woman. I tasted all 32 flavors at baskin robins and they all the same they just season chicken differently. I was messing with a Mexican chick legit freshly snuck in to the country and she was no different than any other woman. Never been a day in the states and was on the same shit: I need a nigga that’s getting the bag so he can hold me down. That’s really what Black women want but niggas out here struggling and making excuses.

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

This is tricky brother. Feminism has really messed our women up just like its messed up Maria, Becky, and Ling. The difference is as victims of white supremacy a lot of times our women are elevated while our men are oppressed, giving sistas unrealistic expectations.

I second that Black women need to stop thinking with their vaginas when it comes to Pookie and Ray Ray. Because they get with a lame and then place his shortcomings on all brothers.

At the end of the day it's about NATION BUILDING. To do that each party male and female needs to know their role. And I've seen brothers on a massive scale step into their rightful place. Black women like this divester have lost sight of the goal and are too busy in fairy tale land.

This bedwench does not speak for all of us. She's a fucking joke. Women these days want everything handed to them, most can't handle real masculine men either. That's why they go get a pink man.

There are plenty of Black women that know a good brother when they see him and they act accordingly, we just hear those stories less. They don't fit into the agenda the dominate society is pushing to try and stifle our growth as a people.
B1

 

[WhipsAndChains]

Bedbuck babble. OP already said in another thread that his wife is a white hispanic and this thread is lowkey dogging black women.

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

This whole thread needs to be cancelled then. How do you have the nerve to speak on a woman you aren't even invested in? A woman you obviously have no respect for?

Boooo! I'm throwing tomatoes 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

Thank you WhipsAndChains for exposing this lame.

 

[TAILIANNA]

I think this is true of black woman only because of financial issues. The idea of needing the bag is because she and her kids needs to be taken care of now. Becky rosario etc usually have a support syste so they can spend more time with men who have potential. Also because she has been fighting all her life she is harder than other women. I dont think this is a race thing though i feel like any woman whos grown up in those condions would have the same issues.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

If this was true we’d have a lessor baby mama pandemic due to Black women’s high standards. Black women settle for low achieving Black men way too much to the point that it hurts the community. A black man could have no car, no job but babble about getting an LLC to start a record label and get a woman pregnant. Pookie, RAy Ray and Lil’ Slug are getting all the women in the hood.

I agree with that in part. The hood rat type will fall for that LLC crap but the more intelligent worthwhile women won't. That's true in just about any community though. It's just that black women tend to go for the thugs and pookie and ray ray more often so I do agree with you that they are getting all the women in the hood.
I've had black women stop talking to me simply because I don't smoke weed. What does that say about them?

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

I think this is true of black woman only because of financial issues. The idea of needing the bag is because she and her kids needs to be taken care of now. Becky rosario etc usually have a support syste so they can spend more time with men who have potential. Also because she has been fighting all her life she is harder than other women. I dont think this is a race thing though i feel like any woman whos grown up in those condions would have the same issues.

Watch your rhetoric. Don't hop on here talking that Black women are too hard BS. We have different circumstances. There really is no comparison. As I stated in my original comment white supremacy is why we "grew up that way". Non-black women fetishize our men it has nothing to do with support systems.
Like brother Jay said all Modern Women have these issues. Black woman should not be singled out.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Is it really just Black women though? We definitely have our issues but are our woman that different than other races? I don’t think so. We see this prevalent across the board but the difference being that Black women have a lower pool of high caliber males due to white supremacy. There’s not this huge pool of Black men that make it to the upper tiers of society and then abandon Black women. Look at the average salaries for Black me

Is it really just Black women though? We definitely have our issues but are our woman that different than other races? I don’t think so. We see this prevalent across the board but the difference being that Black women have a lower pool of high caliber males due to white supremacy. There’s not this huge pool of Black men that make it to the upper tiers of society and then abandon Black women. Look at the average salaries for Black men.

A huge problem that we don't look at is that pool is lower also because as a race black people have a far higher abortion rate than white people. This means a smaller population. This is in part because of poor economics in the black community. Which is caused by the system of white supremacy. This is even more reason why black women need to be giving that black guy with some potential and smarts a chance and help him to make his way up the ladders.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

This is tricky brother. Feminism has really messed our women up just like its messed up Maria, Becky, and Ling. The difference is as victims of white supremacy a lot of times our women are elevated while our men are oppressed, giving sistas unrealistic expectations.

I second that Black women need to stop thinking with their vaginas when it comes to Pookie and Ray Ray. Because they get with a lame and then place his shortcomings on all brothers.

At the end of the day it's about NATION BUILDING. To do that each party male and female needs to know their role. And I've seen brothers on a massive scale step into their rightful place. Black women like this divester have lost sight of the goal and are too busy in fairy tale land.

This bedwench does not speak for all of us. She's a fucking joke. Women these days want everything handed to them, most can't handle real masculine men either. That's why they go get a pink man.

There are plenty of Black women that know a good brother when they see him and they act accordingly, we just hear those stories less. They don't fit into the agenda the dominate society is pushing to try and stifle our growth as a people.
B1

I can agree with that. The overall goal is to build the community stronger. And I do agree that black women need to not think with their vagina when it comes to pookie and ray ray.

But to be fair the same can be said of black men. I know I made a lot of poor choice early on in my life by thinking with my D. I learned from those decisions and made better choices going forward though!

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Bedbuck babble. OP already said in another thread that his wife is a white hispanic and this thread is lowkey dogging black women.

I have nothing at all against black women. Just because my wife is Hispanic doesn't mean I hate black women.
This was by no intent to "dog" black women.

I was simply giving my thoughts on the video if you bothered to watch it.

How could I hate black women when I have sisters, a mother, aunts and nieces that are black. No to mention two daughters that identify themselves as black!

We have to be able to have opinions and correct each other and give criticism without feeling that much resentment because of it.

We'll never get better without criticizing each other!

 

[MR-D-ROB]

This whole thread needs to be cancelled then. How do you have the nerve to speak on a woman you aren't even invested in? A woman you obviously have no respect for?

Boooo! I'm throwing tomatoes 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

Thank you WhipsAndChains for exposing this lame.

Just because I'm with a Hispanic woman doesn't mean I'm any less invested to black empowerment! It also doesn't mean I don't have respect for black women.
I was simply giving my opinion on what I thought about the video and my experiences based on that!

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

Just because I'm with a Hispanic woman doesn't mean I'm any less invested to black empowerment! It also doesn't mean I don't have respect for black women.
I was simply giving my opinion on what I thought about the video and my experiences based on that!

I don't know. I go to sleep every night looking at a BLACK MAN. That is who I fight for in my every day dealings.and likewise for my husband. Who you marry matters. Period. There is no way a non-black person can understand our plight in life. I had a white acquaintance in college that loved to screw BLACK men. But when she graduated her ass married a white man. You marry who you're loyal to. If your children make the same decision you made you will cease to exist. Literally bred out. Exhibit A : Patrick Mahomes

 

[WhipsAndChains]

How could I hate black women when I have sisters, a mother, aunts and nieces that are black. No to mention two daughters that identify themselves as black!

All those Black women in your family, but not in your bed? What kind of Fresh & Fit splainin is that?

 

[MR-D-ROB]

All those Black women in your family, but not in your bed? What kind of Fresh & Fit splainin is that?

I've dated black women. That's just not who I chose to marry. I have been with black women that were certainly worthy of marriage but things just didn't work out that way!

But like I said I don't feel that just because I chose to marry outside of my race makes me any less black.

That's not something I feel I have to prove to you or anyone else!

 

[MR-D-ROB]

I don't know. I go to sleep every night looking at a BLACK MAN. That is who I fight for in my every day dealings.and likewise for my husband. Who you marry matters. Period. There is no way a non-black person can understand our plight in life. I had a white acquaintance in college that loved to screw BLACK men. But when she graduated her ass married a white man. You marry who you're loyal to. If your children make the same decision you made you will cease to exist. Literally bred out. Exhibit A : Patrick Mahomes

I would be fine with whatever choice my daughters make. As long as they are with someone worthwhile that treats them good and takes care of them properly.

Just because I married a Hispanic doesn't mean I am not loyal to my own race somehow! You fall in love with who you fall in love with and that's that!

It would have been pretty dumb on my part to say I love this woman and she loves me but I am not going to marry her because she isn't black. Not only is it dumb it's damn near racist!

 

[WhipsAndChains]

I've dated black women. That's just not who I chose to marry. I have been with black women that were certainly worthy of marriage but things just didn't work out that way!

But like I said I don't feel that just because I chose to marry outside of my race makes me any less black.

That's not something I feel I have to prove to you or anyone else!

Whatever you say, Herschel.

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

I would be fine with whatever choice my daughters make. As long as they are with someone worthwhile that treats them good and takes care of them properly.

Just because I married a Hispanic doesn't mean I am not loyal to my own race somehow! You fall in love with who you fall in love with and that's that!

It would have been pretty dumb on my part to say I love this woman and she loves me but I am not going to marry her because she isn't black. Not only is it dumb it's damn near racist!

I would be fine with whatever choice my daughters make. As long as they are with someone worthwhile that treats them good and takes care of them properly.

Just because I married a Hispanic doesn't mean I am not loyal to my own race somehow! You fall in love with who you fall in love with and that's that!

It would have been pretty dumb on my part to say I love this woman and she loves me but I am not going to marry her because she isn't black. Not only is it dumb it's damn near racist!

Interracial sexual access does not a revolutionary make. We see where your loyalties lie. I'll leave it at that.

 

[The Honorable]

I agree with that in part. The hood rat type will fall for that LLC crap but the more intelligent worthwhile women won't. That's true in just about any community though. It's just that black women tend to go for the thugs and pookie and ray ray more often so I do agree with you that they are getting all the women in the hood.
I've had black women stop talking to me simply because I don't smoke weed. What does that say about them?

It says that those individual women like weed smoke that’s all. They may smoke weed a lot and want a man that will smoke with them. I don’t see how you can make sweeping negative generalizations about Black women but then sweeping positive generalizations about other races. If you’ve been around these other races you’d see their dysfunction too. Mexico got whole cartels chopping heads off, ladies vying for the biggest dope dealer, and women running for the border because their conditions are so deplorable but that is supposed to be a community we model?

 

[Jay]

A huge problem that we don't look at is that pool is lower also because as a race black people have a far higher abortion rate than white people. This means a smaller population. This is in part because of poor economics in the black community. Which is caused by the system of white supremacy. This is even more reason why black women need to be giving that black guy with some potential and smarts a chance and help him to make his way up the ladders.

I think potential is dead, we need action. Black women cling to niggas with potential way too much and not niggas with ACTION. I would rather see Black women reinforce the Black man’s rightful place by basically not giving niggas sexual access if all they have is potential. We don’t need Black men with potential, we need Black men who can take $1 turn it into $2 and take that $2 and turn it into $4. If you have potential l, you get potential sex.

 

[Sovereign]

All those Black women in your family, but not in your bed? What kind of Fresh & Fit splainin is that?

I don’t think it’s fair to dog MR-D-ROB on who he chose to marry BUT rob you did throw rocks at Black women so you have to just take the smoke. You singled out Black women while exhalting non-Black women which is going to make anybody’s spidey sense tingle.

 

[Troy]

I would be fine with whatever choice my daughters make. As long as they are with someone worthwhile that treats them good and takes care of them properly.

Just because I married a Hispanic doesn't mean I am not loyal to my own race somehow! You fall in love with who you fall in love with and that's that!

It would have been pretty dumb on my part to say I love this woman and she loves me but I am not going to marry her because she isn't black. Not only is it dumb it's damn near racist!

They get on my ass on this site too because I date interracially as you know. I can understand it and I would rather have this type of discipline in the community than the old days of dudes just running wild talking that kumbaya around a bunch of hungry lions.

At the end of the day though I’ve had my fair share of whites, Hispanics, and Asians and to me they no different. They have their challenges but the one they don’t have is the state trying to crush them at every turn like we do.

But I met Mexican single moms, Mexican women who date thugs, Asian women who only want a 6 figure white man, and everything across the spectrum. These other communities just as jacked up but don’t show it all to a negro. They see us as outsiders so they don’t show the dysfunction to us they put up fronts.

 

[WhipsAndChains]

I don’t think it’s fair to dog MR-D-ROB on who he chose to marry BUT rob you did throw rocks at Black women so you have to just take the smoke. You singled out Black women while exhalting non-Black women which is going to make anybody’s spidey sense tingle.

He has a pattern of throwing rocks at Black women. Notice the comparison MR-D-ROB makes between his white hispanic woman and the "hood ratish" Black woman in this thread Woke Up Like This!

 

[Sapphire]

Black women get upset when they see a successful black man with a woman of another race. What they fail to realize is this is the guy that would have shot down because he wasn't successful when they woman met him!

Do you understand why this is?

It is one less option that would make a reliable partner and great father for them. When all of our successful men go for nothing but Latino and white women, what are we left with? This is coming from a mixed woman herself.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Interracial sexual access does not a revolutionary make. We see where your loyalties lie. I'll leave it at that.

It's not about sexual access. It's just simply who you choose to be with.

People always ask, insult and put down or people for their interracial relationships but don't listen when people are giving an explanation as to why they made that decision!

 

[MR-D-ROB]

He has a pattern of throwing rocks at Black women. Notice the comparison MR-D-ROB makes between his white hispanic woman and the "hood ratish" Black woman in this thread Woke Up Like This!

Bro you aren't even listening. That chick was half black and half Puerto Rican.

There are hood rats in every community. Black, White, Hispanic and whatever else.


Like I said I'm not trying to insult black women. I'm simply giving my point of view.

You don't have to agree but don't proclaim to know what my intent is!

Because clear you don't!

 

[Sun Light]

Is it really just Black women though? We definitely have our issues but are our woman that different than other races? I don’t think so. We see this prevalent across the board but the difference being that Black women have a lower pool of high caliber males due to white supremacy. There’s not this huge pool of Black men that make it to the upper tiers of society and then abandon Black women. Look at the average salaries for Black men.

 

[Sun Light]

Agreed

I think potential is dead, we need action. Black women cling to niggas with potential way too much and not niggas with ACTION. I would rather see Black women reinforce the Black man’s rightful place by basically not giving niggas sexual access if all they have is potential. We don’t need Black men with potential, we need Black men who can take $1 turn it into $2 and take that $2 and turn it into $4. If you have potential l, you get potential sex.

TBA classic 100% on point!!😁😁

 

[Jay]

DapAgreed

TBA classic 100% on point!!😁😁

Yup you know.

 

[Jay]

 

[Sovereign]

Sun Light you quoted me and didn’t say anything.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Agreed

TBA classic 100% on point!!😁😁

Potential with no action or plan to follow through on it isn't worth anything. I can agree with you on that.
When my wife and I first met I wasn't really doing that bad but I just had no specific goals.
I had my own place. It wasn't the Hilton but it was a roof over my head. I had a car. It was a hoopty but I had a way to get around. I had a job. I paid alright but wasn't very stable.

She knew I was smart and had resources to do something better once I chose to though! I stayed at that job being complacent until finally it fell through.

I was without a job and pretty unsure what to do next. We weren't married and didn't have kids at this point so she could have just left.

She stayed with me though. My life took a few twists and turns and went through a lot of bad periods after this all. I landed some hobs none that were very good right away. Once I did land a good job that paid well it was only a term position so still very unstable. Ultimately, I made the decision that I wanted to go into law enforcement. I had worked in the medical field in some form or fashion my entire adult life. She didn't agree with the decision to do law enforcement but supported me nonetheless. Honestly I wish she were a bit more confrontational and pushed her point of view on what she wanted me to do.

She wanted me to go to nursing school. I chose the former and set out to try making a career in law enforcement. I didn't do bad. I ended up getting a civil service position making pretty good money. It wasn't a permanent position though. It was only term so I was right back to that instability.

As they usually are the woman (my wife was right). I realized that even with a degree as a black man to truly get where I was aiming to go in a law enforcement career was going to require me to move possibly cleat across the country and even then there was no certainty!

I eventually listened to her and dropped my aspirations of law enforcement and went to school to become a nurse. Best decision I ever made and I am thankful for her pushing me to do it. I am thankful for her staying up and helping me study and understanding when I was so busy studying that I didn't have as much time for her.

She pushed me to see my potential through in a career field where I can provide for her and my children and have a stable career now. I will be in my current civil service position until I retire.

When I lost the first job or anywhere along the way of me taking all those crap jobs until I landed on my feet my wife could have left because we weren't even married. She stayed and pushed me and helped me to make decisions that got me where I am. She helps prepare me for interviews. She helps me with job searching. She has even helped land me a few side gigs over the years.

This is what I mean by potential as it relates to me!

 

[TAILIANNA]

Watch your rhetoric. Don't hop on here talking that Black women are too hard BS. We have different circumstances. There really is no comparison. As I stated in my original comment white supremacy is why we "grew up that way". Non-black women fetishize our men it has nothing to do with support systems.
Like brother Jay said all Modern Women have these issues. Black woman should not be singled out.

Its not rhetoric its science enviroment shapes people. Black women have been fighting for survival. So we are harder than other women and by harder i mean tougher more able to protect ourselves but this also leads to the downside of having a shield that needs to be broken down. But again its not because of race to me its because of the conditions. If ur speaking on the goldigger aspect i think that is just modern hip hop culture.

 

[Sun Light]

Sun Light you quoted me and didn’t say anything.

My b I'm new still learning how to maneuver

Potential with no action or plan to follow through on it isn't worth anything. I can agree with you on that.
When my wife and I first met I wasn't really doing that bad but I just had no specific goals.
I had my own place. It wasn't the Hilton but it was a roof over my head. I had a car. It was a hoopty but I had a way to get around. I had a job. I paid alright but wasn't very stable.

She knew I was smart and had resources to do something better once I chose to though! I stayed at that job being complacent until finally it fell through.

I was without a job and pretty unsure what to do next. We weren't married and didn't have kids at this point so she could have just left.

She stayed with me though. My life took a few twists and turns and went through a lot of bad periods after this all. I landed some hobs none that were very good right away. Once I did land a good job that paid well it was only a term position so still very unstable. Ultimately, I made the decision that I wanted to go into law enforcement. I had worked in the medical field in some form or fashion my entire adult life. She didn't agree with the decision to do law enforcement but supported me nonetheless. Honestly I wish she were a bit more confrontational and pushed her point of view on what she wanted me to do.

She wanted me to go to nursing school. I chose the former and set out to try making a career in law enforcement. I didn't do bad. I ended up getting a civil service position making pretty good money. It wasn't a permanent position though. It was only term so I was right back to that instability.

As they usually are the woman (my wife was right). I realized that even with a degree as a black man to truly get where I was aiming to go in a law enforcement career was going to require me to move possibly cleat across the country and even then there was no certainty!

I eventually listened to her and dropped my aspirations of law enforcement and went to school to become a nurse. Best decision I ever made and I am thankful for her pushing me to do it. I am thankful for her staying up and helping me study and understanding when I was so busy studying that I didn't have as much time for her.

She pushed me to see my potential through in a career field where I can provide for her and my children and have a stable career now. I will be in my current civil service position until I retire.

When I lost the first job or anywhere along the way of me taking all those crap jobs until I landed on my feet my wife could have left because we weren't even married. She stayed and pushed me and helped me to make decisions that got me where I am. She helps prepare me for interviews. She helps me with job searching. She has even helped land me a few side gigs over the years.

This is what I mean by potential as it relates to me

Potential with no action or plan to follow through on it isn't worth anything. I can agree with you on that.
When my wife and I first met I wasn't really doing that bad but I just had no specific goals.
I had my own place. It wasn't the Hilton but it was a roof over my head. I had a car. It was a hoopty but I had a way to get around. I had a job. I paid alright but wasn't very stable.

She knew I was smart and had resources to do something better once I chose to though! I stayed at that job being complacent until finally it fell through.

I was without a job and pretty unsure what to do next. We weren't married and didn't have kids at this point so she could have just left.

She stayed with me though. My life took a few twists and turns and went through a lot of bad periods after this all. I landed some hobs none that were very good right away. Once I did land a good job that paid well it was only a term position so still very unstable. Ultimately, I made the decision that I wanted to go into law enforcement. I had worked in the medical field in some form or fashion my entire adult life. She didn't agree with the decision to do law enforcement but supported me nonetheless. Honestly I wish she were a bit more confrontational and pushed her point of view on what she wanted me to do.

She wanted me to go to nursing school. I chose the former and set out to try making a career in law enforcement. I didn't do bad. I ended up getting a civil service position making pretty good money. It wasn't a permanent position though. It was only term so I was right back to that instability.

As they usually are the woman (my wife was right). I realized that even with a degree as a black man to truly get where I was aiming to go in a law enforcement career was going to require me to move possibly cleat across the country and even then there was no certainty!

I eventually listened to her and dropped my aspirations of law enforcement and went to school to become a nurse. Best decision I ever made and I am thankful for her pushing me to do it. I am thankful for her staying up and helping me study and understanding when I was so busy studying that I didn't have as much time for her.

She pushed me to see my potential through in a career field where I can provide for her and my children and have a stable career now. I will be in my current civil service position until I retire.

When I lost the first job or anywhere along the way of me taking all those crap jobs until I landed on my feet my wife could have left because we weren't even married. She stayed and pushed me and helped me to make decisions that got me where I am. She helps prepare me for interviews. She helps me with job searching. She has even helped land me a few side gigs over the years.

This is what I mean by potential as it relates to me!

Your experience is not the norm i.e. an anomaly.. A female can waste he best years gambling on potential when the odds are highly stacked against having an outcome like yours.. What would you suggest a female do then when the male never reaches his "potential" and she's older?? Start looking for someone else at that point?? Also at what point do you think a female should realize this in a male, not taking your particular experience into consideration??

 

[MR-D-ROB]

My b I'm new still learning how to maneuver



Your experience is not the norm i.e. an anomaly.. A female can waste he best years gambling on potential when the odds are highly stacked against having an outcome like yours.. What would you suggest a female do then when the male never reaches his "potential" and she's older?? Start looking for someone else at that point?? Also at what point do you think a female should realize this in a male, not taking your particular experience into consideration??

Honestly I have dated only two black women that I would have considered marrying. The first one broke up with me because a crazy ex of mine threatened her. Then her crazy ex threatened me. I was willing to fight to keep our relationship. She wasn't, so she split up with me. She didn't want to deal with the drama and I respected that!

The second girl I decided to break it off because she kept comparing herself to one of my exes. It was a constant "you did this for her and you don't do it for me." And even when I would do whatever she was asking she would just bring up something else. It was like I was fighting to prove I loved her and not an ex. I just got tired of it and broke it off.

Truthfully I hadn't thought about it from that perspective "that you could waste the best years and be left looking for someone once you are older". Which would certainly be more difficult. So I can understand from that viewpoint why you would want someone who at least has something going.

I'll agree when you think of it like that it may push a different route of decision making.