The Cookout

[Jay]

@Caprice and I were debating on this in regards to Megan the Stallion but it is a larger issue. How many of you think you know what men need and want instead of actually listening to the man in your life and acting based on what he says? Listen to woman for 2 minutes:

She is kicking straight up knowledge. I’ve been in situations where I wanted to provide the person I was dating more but she wouldn’t listen to what I needed. They would argue with me about what I needed and then would be upset when I bounced because the next woman would provide me what I needed without issue.

In the Meg the Stallion scenario, the statement is “Protect Black Women” but you can’t tell us to protect when you won’t listen to use when we tell you what’s reasonable behavior. We ask that you be a lady and we’ll protect you…but some women want to be a stank hoe, tramp, hood chick and then still want to demand our protection.

You have to listen to what men say they need, not what you think they should need.

 

[Ubiquity]

Ummm. He wants steady intimacy, classy company and availability when he calls. I feel like he has described a 2020 concubine!! Why should I have to sign up to be a 2020 concubine in hopes that I will be upgraded to an entrapped concubine! Men just move and think differently and unfortunately my biggest problem is my criticisms. It's not even that I can't be a 2020 concubine, I just need there to be some acknowledgement to this is REALLY what you want....

 

[Jay]

Ummm. He wants steady intimacy, classy company and availability when he calls. I feel like he has described a 2020 concubine!! Why should I have to sign up to be a 2020 concubine in hopes that I will be upgraded to an entrapped concubine! Men just move and think differently and unfortunately my biggest problem is my criticisms. It's not even that I can't be a 2020 concubine, I just need there to be some acknowledgement to this is REALLY what you want....

Who is this “he”, is it the he in your life or the hypothetical “he” you’re creating and then assigning wants to?

 

[Boss Hog]

Ummm. He wants steady intimacy, classy company and availability when he calls. I feel like he has described a 2020 concubine!! Why should I have to sign up to be a 2020 concubine in hopes that I will be upgraded to an entrapped concubine! Men just move and think differently and unfortunately my biggest problem is my criticisms. It's not even that I can't be a 2020 concubine, I just need there to be some acknowledgement to this is REALLY what you want....

That's what your man is asking for?

 

[Ubiquity]

For the last 14 months, I've been dealing with "he" and that is what he told me what he wants. I am truly trying to look passed that he described a booty call, because according to him that is the kind of woman he is looking for. Outside of me flaking or creating a great escape, I think we enjoy each other as friends, but he doesn't believe in female friends. So, maybe he has moved on, or will. I wouldn't know because his job is mobile and he goes out of state a lot. That is why I say concubine. A faithful woman who waits for a man who is rarely available..... Now that I am saying this, I realize, I don't want a man who is emotionally unavailable even if it's tied to a career.

 

[Jay]

For the last 14 months, I've been dealing with "he" and that is what he told me what he wants. I am truly trying to look passed that he described a booty call, because according to him that is the kind of woman he is looking for. Outside of me flaking or creating a great escape, I think we enjoy each other as friends, but he doesn't believe in female friends. So, maybe he has moved on, or will. I wouldn't know because his job is mobile and he goes out of state a lot. That is why I say concubine. A faithful woman who waits for a man who is rarely available..... Now that I am saying this, I realize, I don't want a man who is emotionally unavailable even if it's tied to a career.

You are just one on his roster. That’s not a healthy situation to be in, trust that he got one in every town he stops in, thats why it feels like a booty call cuz it is. He wants to know when he touches down that he has some action waiting for him, I know cuz it was me at one time.

 

[Boss Hog]

For the last 14 months, I've been dealing with "he" and that is what he told me what he wants. I am truly trying to look passed that he described a booty call, because according to him that is the kind of woman he is looking for. Outside of me flaking or creating a great escape, I think we enjoy each other as friends, but he doesn't believe in female friends. So, maybe he has moved on, or will. I wouldn't know because his job is mobile and he goes out of state a lot. That is why I say concubine. A faithful woman who waits for a man who is rarely available..... Now that I am saying this, I realize, I don't want a man who is emotionally unavailable even if it's tied to a career.

You need to remove yourself from that situation. If it's more than a fling to you then you are just extending your heartbreak.

 

[Tati 304]

Why does it have to be about him in the first place? Men can't control what we do all the time.

 

[Ubiquity]

You are just one on his roster. That’s not a healthy situation to be in, trust that he got one in every town he stops in, thats why it feels like a booty call cuz it is. He wants to know when he touches down that he has some action waiting for him, I know cuz it was me at one time.

You need to remove yourself from that situation. If it's more than a fling to you then you are just extending your heartbreak.

Please believe, I am about fair game. Date whomever you wish and dare put all your eggs in one basket, I will return the same gesture. I really feel like he is someone I can take serious if he stopped the BS, but he just isn't there. Meanwhile, I have plenty of male attention, barely tolerable, but enough to keep me busy. I fell for that trick bag once, sitting at home waiting for a man to call me when he had time, and I picked up 15ibs and I swore I would never wait for a man's whim to consider me ever again.

Men are always concerned about who your laying down with and I get that, but they should be considering WHO they are laying down with. I really try to get these mens to go on a whole diet if they want to lay up in my bed... People have parasites and don't even know, not to include STDs. Not every woman is concerned about that, so it's crazy to even begin to try to check me!!

 

[Jay]

Please believe, I am about fair game. Date whomever you wish and dare put all your eggs in one basket, I will return the same gesture. I really feel like he is someone I can take serious if he stopped the BS, but he just isn't there. Meanwhile, I have plenty of male attention, barely tolerable, but enough to keep me busy. I fell for that trick bag once, sitting at home waiting for a man to call me when he had time, and I picked up 15ibs and I swore I would never wait for a man's whim to consider me ever again.

Men are always concerned about who your laying down with and I get that, but they should be considering WHO they are laying down with. I really try to get these mens to go on a whole diet if they want to lay up in my bed... People have parasites and don't even know, not to include STDs. Not every woman is concerned about that, so it's crazy to even begin to try to check me!!

Well his loss if he doesn’t want to leave the game. Also not all of us care about who you are laying down with…I never ask a woman that cuz it’s none of my business.

 

[sourgrapes]

In my experience, I'd like to say I know what they need but I really don't have a clue. I am not a man. I just know what I should focus on as a woman to have a stable relationship. Assuming I am with the right man, me being loyal, affectionate, caring, and willing to make his home life the best it can be without being a doormat is what I would consider ideal. Respecting his privacy so long as he maintains my trust and vice versa. I think a mutual understanding needs to be set in place so neither of us is disappointed.

 

[Boss Hog]

Please believe, I am about fair game. Date whomever you wish and dare put all your eggs in one basket, I will return the same gesture. I really feel like he is someone I can take serious if he stopped the BS, but he just isn't there. Meanwhile, I have plenty of male attention, barely tolerable, but enough to keep me busy. I fell for that trick bag once, sitting at home waiting for a man to call me when he had time, and I picked up 15ibs and I swore I would never wait for a man's whim to consider me ever again.

Men are always concerned about who your laying down with and I get that, but they should be considering WHO they are laying down with. I really try to get these mens to go on a whole diet if they want to lay up in my bed... People have parasites and don't even know, not to include STDs. Not every woman is concerned about that, so it's crazy to even begin to try to check me!!

I'm glad to hear that you're being realistic about what you can get from him. When a man is serious you won't have to guess or wait.

 

[Red Velvet]

If you're not catering to your man how the heck do you expect to get the best out of him? That's a problem I have with feminist nowadays who reject femininity and submissiveness.

Listen to your man.
Cherish your man.
Make him feel good.
Make him feel strong.

When you invest in the right man you will get a ROI, may not be when you want it but it will come.

 

[Jay]

If you're not catering to your man how the heck do you expect to get the best out of him? That's a problem I have with feminist nowadays who reject femininity and submissiveness.

Listen to your man.
Cherish your man.
Make him feel good.
Make him feel strong.

When you invest in the right man you will get a ROI, may not be when you want it but it will come.

Message!