The Cookout

[lexodyssey]

I know this really depends on the person and every relationship is different. I don't have any set "rules" but in general, I think saying "I love you" right away, moving in, or getting married under a year together is too fast. But I guess, I would be open to anything if it felt right lol

 

[Ubiquity]

I hate hearing "I love you" within 6 months! It's an obvious lie because there is no way for you to really even know ME in 6mos.

 

[Jay]

I know this really depends on the person and every relationship is different. I don't have any set "rules" but in general, I think saying "I love you" right away, moving in, or getting married under a year together is too fast. But I guess, I would be open to anything if it felt right lol

For me, moving too fast is when the expectations demanded from your partner are greater than the bond you share. For instance:

• We met two weeks ago, been on 3 dates and you want me to meet your children.
• We met a month ago and you want to introduce me to your mom and dad.
• We met 2 months ago and you want me to go to your company holiday party as your Fiancé.
• We are 6 months into the relationship and you want to move in with me.

I don't like to put time gates on things because life doesn't work that way, IMO, @Ubiquity I look at in terms of "doing the work". Are you having the right conversations to get to know one another. Are you building a foundation of love and trust and are your prioritizing that over sex? You could be with someone for a year and they say "I love you" but you've only had superficial conversation. So while they met your time requirements the love could be every bit as superficial as it could be at 4 months.

 

[Ubiquity]

For me, moving too fast is when the expectations demanded from your partner are greater than the bond you share. For instance:

• We met two weeks ago, been on 3 dates and you want me to meet your children.
• We met a month ago and you want to introduce me to your mom and dad.
• We met 2 months ago and you want me to go to your company holiday party as your Fiancé.
• We are 6 months into the relationship and you want to move in with me.

I don't like to put time gates on things because life doesn't work that way, IMO, @Ubiquity I look at in terms of "doing the work". Are you having the right conversations to get to know one another. Are you building a foundation of love and trust and are your prioritizing that over sex? You could be with someone for a year and they say "I love you" but you've only had superficial conversation. So while they met your time requirements the love could be every bit as superficial as it could be at 4 months.

Love is a verb not an adjective and there is nothing within 6 mo's outside of kindness that I could call love. Folks have it confused. I love everybody- adjective, but I don't love everybody- verb, I can actually be considered a hater in some regards! Some times love is even a noun or pro noun depending on how I'm feeling and who I'm talking to so my Grandmama told me to watch what they do, don't listen to what they say..

 

[Jay]

Love is a verb not an adjective and there is nothing within 6 mo's outside of kindness that I could call love. Folks have it confused. I love everybody- adjective, but I don't love everybody- verb, I can actually be considered a hater in some regards! Some times love is even a noun or pro noun depending on how I'm feeling and who I'm talking to so my Grandmama told me to watch what they do, don't listen to what they say..

...and that may be true but a year doesn't magically make love possible either. You could have superficial conversations for 5 years with someone and still never truly be in love because you don't really know the other person. That's all I'm saying.

 

[Red Velvet]

Love is a verb not an adjective and there is nothing within 6 mo's outside of kindness that I could call love. Folks have it confused. I love everybody- adjective, but I don't love everybody- verb, I can actually be considered a hater in some regards! Some times love is even a noun or pro noun depending on how I'm feeling and who I'm talking to so my Grandmama told me to watch what they do, don't listen to what they say..

People throw the word around like Halloween treats. I don’t want to hear “I love you” until we‘ve spent a couple winters together.

 

[Ubiquity]

...and that may be true but a year doesn't magically make love possible either. You could have superficial conversations for 5 years with someone and still never truly be in love because you don't really know the other person. That's all I'm saying.

I agree. Watch what they do, don't listen to what they say!

 

[Troy]

I don’t know what it is but I know it when I feel it. I went on a date and this lady was nice, pretty, smart and after our second date she was all on me talking about how great I was and trying to introduce me to her kids. I felt so uncomfortable, it definitely moved too fast for me but my hemi moved faster.