The Cookout

[sourgrapes]

I feel like marriage still has value in this world and when you are paired with the right person for you, it makes life easier and more worth living. I know there are a lot of bad examples out there and reasons why it would seem best to avoid marriage but for me, I think it is an important milestone for me to cross when I am in a committed relationship, ideally before having children.

That being said, what do you think are the keys to a successful marriage in today's world? I know the times have changed and it seems like marriage has only gotten harder for a lot of people.

 

[Lamont]

I feel like marriage still has value in this world and when you are paired with the right person for you, it makes life easier and more worth living. I know there are a lot of bad examples out there and reasons why it would seem best to avoid marriage but for me, I think it is an important milestone for me to cross when I am in a committed relationship, ideally before having children.

That being said, what do you think are the keys to a successful marriage in today's world? I know the times have changed and it seems like marriage has only gotten harder for a lot of people.

The tentpoles of any successful marriage are:

• Communication - You need to be able to talk through problems and be able to hear and comprehend one another.
• Honesty - You need to communicate the truth so that your resolutions are not founded upon lies,
• Trust - You need to be able to trust what one another says and does.

If any of those 3 are absent, it's a wrap.

 

[Jay]

The tentpoles of any successful marriage are:

• Communication - You need to be able to talk through problems and be able to hear and comprehend one another.
• Honesty - You need to communicate the truth so that your resolutions are not founded upon lies,
• Trust - You need to be able to trust what one another says and does.

If any of those 3 are absent, it's a wrap.

Mic drop.

I’ll add ontop of this.

You need to be committed to one another and to making it work. You can’t have one foot in and one foot out. Both have to be planted and willing to do the work even when it’s tough, miserable, stressful and uncomfortable.

 

[Red Velvet]

The tentpoles of any successful marriage are:

• Communication - You need to be able to talk through problems and be able to hear and comprehend one another.
• Honesty - You need to communicate the truth so that your resolutions are not founded upon lies,
• Trust - You need to be able to trust what one another says and does.

If any of those 3 are absent, it's a wrap.

Mic drop.

I’ll add ontop of this.

You need to be committed to one another and to making it work. You can’t have one foot in and one foot out. Both have to be planted and willing to do the work even when it’s tough, miserable, stressful and uncomfortable.

Of course men that think like this have to be online and not in my hometown.

 

[sourgrapes]

Of course men that think like this have to be online and not in my hometown.

I talk trash about online dating all the time but I really feel like we all need to give it more of a chance. lol I am also not opposed to dating someone a bit older either cause they seem to have their ish together in life as well. I don't want to be committing myself to some class clown who fails every second turn. Seems like the failures of the world are a dime a dozen these days.

 

[Boss Hog]

I talk trash about online dating all the time but I really feel like we all need to give it more of a chance. lol I am also not opposed to dating someone a bit older either cause they seem to have their ish together in life as well. I don't want to be committing myself to some class clown who fails every second turn. Seems like the failures of the world are a dime a dozen these days.

I used to be a hater and clown anyone who would online date but now it is super common-place. I do it all the time with much success.

 

[lexodyssey]

I talk trash about online dating all the time but I really feel like we all need to give it more of a chance. lol I am also not opposed to dating someone a bit older either cause they seem to have their ish together in life as well. I don't want to be committing myself to some class clown who fails every second turn. Seems like the failures of the world are a dime a dozen these days.

Yeah online dating is great, you just have to sift through the clowns lol I just like that it gets you out of the small dating pool you may have had without it.

But I agree with what @Lamont and @Jay said. I think marriage takes a lot of work from both sides but it's definitely possible to have a successful marriage in today's society.

 

[Jay]

Yeah online dating is great, you just have to sift through the clowns lol I just like that it gets you out of the small dating pool you may have had without it.

But I agree with what @Lamont and @Jay said. I think marriage takes a lot of work from both sides but it's definitely possible to have a successful marriage in today's society.

Yeah the clowns feel emboldened cedars they don’t have to build up the courage to approach. So they’ll hit you up with some dumb crap like “hey do you like turtles?”

 

[Caprice]

All of the above, and I would add… make space for growth. The person you marry is going to change in 5 years, 10 years, etc. Be patient and supportive as they evolve or during their life transitions.

 

[Red Velvet]

I talk trash about online dating all the time but I really feel like we all need to give it more of a chance. lol I am also not opposed to dating someone a bit older either cause they seem to have their ish together in life as well. I don't want to be committing myself to some class clown who fails every second turn. Seems like the failures of the world are a dime a dozen these days.

I need to be more accepting of it as well. I’ve been on Match and BLK and found a lot of broke boys and dusties.

 

[sourgrapes]

I need to be more accepting of it as well. I’ve been on Match and BLK and found a lot of broke boys and dusties.

I think dating apps and sites have a lot of flaws. I would wager we'd have more success on online communities like this one. Like-minded people coming together, forming online relationships that can become something more as we get to know each other. Anytime I hear of a successful couple in real life that met online, they seldom met on these sites or apps.

 

[Jay]

I think dating apps and sites have a lot of flaws. I would wager we'd have more success on online communities like this one. Like-minded people coming together, forming online relationships that can become something more as we get to know each other. Anytime I hear of a successful couple in real life that met online, they seldom met on these sites or apps.

I’ve seen couples made on words with friends.

 

[sourgrapes]

I’ve seen couples made on words with friends.

Exactly. Any place can become a dating spot if two people are into each other. I can bet there have been relationships formed on most major/big sites that allow communication between guests or members.

 

[Jay]

Exactly. Any place can become a dating spot if two people are into each other. I can bet there have been relationships formed on most major/big sites that allow communication between guests or members.

Yeah 100%. It's gonna be a little harder for yall on here because we don't allow unsolicited flirting, sorry.

 

[Lamont]

Mic drop.

I’ll add ontop of this.

You need to be committed to one another and to making it work. You can’t have one foot in and one foot out. Both have to be planted and willing to do the work even when it’s tough, miserable, stressful and uncomfortable.

100% accurate. If I lobbed the ball, you most certainly slammed it down good sir.

 

[Blackgravity]

I've been married over 22 years there's no secret, most of what it comes down to is, respect for each other, compromise with each other and most of all love each other.

 

[Jay]

I've been married over 22 years there's no secret, most of what it comes down to is, respect for each other, compromise with each other and most of all love each other.

Nice any other tips you can offer? 22 years is a bit of time. What about finances?

@Caprice let’s get this game.

 

[sourgrapes]

I am more curious about that as well. Being married 22 years is a huge deal. You must have the right foundation for sure. It seems like so many marriages these days don't last 5 years. I think they fail due to one or both people not being faithful or financial issues.