The Cookout

Random musings, lighthearted communication, and good vibes.

Stats

Category
Entertainment
Total members
14
Total events
0
Total discussions
5K
Total views
1M

Loaning money to friends

Banks

Sixer
Down From Day 1
Messages
275
Reputation
229
zBucks
118
Sex
Male
Race
Black
Origin
USA
Oh damn dude, who here has loaned money to a friend in need? I have only done it once and I regretted it. He of course is one of my childhood friends, but we've kinda lost touch in recent years. But, he can contact me whenever he needs a handout. And honestly I helped him with the understanding that he'd pay me back. But he took forever to pay me. I wasn't even asking for payments, just a little here and and a little there. The dude has the gall to then ask me months later if I could foot the bill for one of our meals when we hung out. And in fact, I asked the dude right there if he had any money to pay back.

I only intend to loan money to my mom and that's it, no one else is getting my help from here on out. Friends may mean well, but don't let em take advantage of you either.
 

Jay

The First Sixer
HNIC
  • Messages
    9,611
    Reputation
    15,168
    Location
    California
    zBucks
    48,221
    Sex
    Male
    Race
    Black
    Origin
    USA
    If I loan money I make them sign a contract stating what I’m lending, when I expect it back and I make it clear that I want the money back exactly how I gave it to you. I don’t want half back and a promise to mow my lawn for two years or jack shit like that. I also only lend out what I’m willing to lose so I’m not put in a compromising situation. But no one ever asks me fr money so it’s not an issue.
     

    Banks

    Sixer
    Down From Day 1
    Messages
    275
    Reputation
    229
    zBucks
    118
    Sex
    Male
    Race
    Black
    Origin
    USA
    I feel like that's a good way to lose a friend lol I mean, in some cases it's ok if you feel like you need to help a friend out. But if you're loaning the money with the intention on being paid back in a reasonable amount of time, things can get complicated.
    It is. I rarely talk to the guy anymore, and I feel like I lost a good friend because of it. I mean, we still converse, on facebook, but it's like "how ya doin?", "Did you hear about what so and so did" etc. But as of late, it's been silent on both sides.
     

    Jay

    The First Sixer
    HNIC
  • Messages
    9,611
    Reputation
    15,168
    Location
    California
    zBucks
    48,221
    Sex
    Male
    Race
    Black
    Origin
    USA
    It is. I rarely talk to the guy anymore, and I feel like I lost a good friend because of it. I mean, we still converse, on facebook, but it's like "how ya doin?", "Did you hear about what so and so did" etc. But as of late, it's been silent on both sides.
    Yeah yall just have water cooler talk now, sometimes it be that way.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    Oh damn dude, who here has loaned money to a friend in need? I have only done it once and I regretted it. He of course is one of my childhood friends, but we've kinda lost touch in recent years. But, he can contact me whenever he needs a handout. And honestly I helped him with the understanding that he'd pay me back. But he took forever to pay me. I wasn't even asking for payments, just a little here and and a little there. The dude has the gall to then ask me months later if I could foot the bill for one of our meals when we hung out. And in fact, I asked the dude right there if he had any money to pay back.

    I only intend to loan money to my mom and that's it, no one else is getting my help from here on out. Friends may mean well, but don't let em take advantage of you either.
    Fully agree. It is crazy how this keeps happening, and folks wonder why so people become uptight when others ask for money.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    I loan assuming I'll never get it back.
    Makes it easy for me.
    I totally understand why you say that. It is like a test. Are we really friends? If you don't pay me back in a timely manner, then you are not my friend. By you assuming you will never get it back, it takes stress off of you as well since you are giving it like a gift although if they pay it back like they said they would, then that is great.
     

    MR-D-ROB

    Master Sixer
  • Messages
    1,011
    Reputation
    1,371
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    zBucks
    9,261
    Sex
    Male
    Race
    Black
    Origin
    USA
    I'm like Yella Beezy on that subject.
    I sat down and did the calculations on how much loaning money and doing favors has costed me.
    It was well over 6 figures.
    What's worse is once I quit doing all these favors people get mad as if I owe it to them to do stuff for them.

    So as Yella Beezy said....
    I'm done with the favors!
     

    RCNAL

    Sixer First Class+
    Messages
    3,475
    Reputation
    4,546
    zBucks
    88,828
    Sex
    Male
    Race
    Black
    Origin
    Caribbean
    I heard a pastor once said that if you lend money, lend an amount that if you don't get it back you are financially okay. Basically lend only what you can afford. Like its a gift, but its not. Not the rent money. Not the car insurance money. I've always maintained that if I lend and I only "lend" to certain people.
    I also don't sweat them for it. If I don't get it back its like that scene below in Bronx Tale. I got rid of that person for good. I've had people not pay but the amount was low and I didn't miss it and they came back for more. I didn't even bring up the last loan, I straight ignored them. A very, very few people, I've actually given them more than they asked. I didn't expect it back. Or even wanted it back. That's rare and there are very special circumstances why I did.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    If I loan money I make them sign a contract stating what I’m lending, when I expect it back and I make it clear that I want the money back exactly how I gave it to you. I don’t want half back and a promise to mow my lawn for two years or jack shit like that. I also only lend out what I’m willing to lose so I’m not put in a compromising situation. But no one ever asks me fr money so it’s not an issue.
    Great response. I see some folks lend out money they desperately need to a person who they thought they were good with. And that forced them to have to work harder to get their money back.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    It is. I rarely talk to the guy anymore, and I feel like I lost a good friend because of it. I mean, we still converse, on facebook, but it's like "how ya doin?", "Did you hear about what so and so did" etc. But as of late, it's been silent on both sides.
    I don't think I would talk to this person at all. I would just leave that person on read. But I understand why you did it. Being cordial. I am glad it went silent on both ends.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    I'm like Yella Beezy on that subject.
    I sat down and did the calculations on how much loaning money and doing favors has costed me.
    It was well over 6 figures.
    What's worse is once I quit doing all these favors people get mad as if I owe it to them to do stuff for them.

    So as Yella Beezy said....
    I'm done with the favors!
    I've been done. I don't want to be an ATM.
     

    GwynShivers

    Royal Sixer
    Tither
    App Beta Tester
    Messages
    4,775
    Reputation
    5,397
    Location
    Stone Mountain, GA
    zBucks
    12,099
    Sex
    Female
    Race
    Black
    Oh damn dude, who here has loaned money to a friend in need? I have only done it once and I regretted it. He of course is one of my childhood friends, but we've kinda lost touch in recent years. But, he can contact me whenever he needs a handout. And honestly I helped him with the understanding that he'd pay me back. But he took forever to pay me. I wasn't even asking for payments, just a little here and and a little there. The dude has the gall to then ask me months later if I could foot the bill for one of our meals when we hung out. And in fact, I asked the dude right there if he had any money to pay back.

    I only intend to loan money to my mom and that's it, no one else is getting my help from here on out. Friends may mean well, but don't let em take advantage of you either.
    If I give it to you, it's from my heart & I don't expect repayment. But if you ask to borrow a certain amount from me, IT'S A DAMN LOAN, so don't come with no 🦬💩, when it's time to repay, per our written agreement!
    The only exception will be is, if you contact me prior to the due date, which is also listed in the agreement.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    If I give it to you, it's from my heart & I don't expect repayment. But if you ask to borrow a certain amount from me, IT'S A DAMN LOAN, so don't come with no 🦬💩, when it's time to repay, per our written agreement!
    The only exception will be is, if you contact me prior to the due date, which is also listed in the agreement.
    I love how you said "written agreement" instead of verbal agreement.
     
    D

    Deleted member 1946

    Guest
    If I loan money I make them sign a contract stating what I’m lending, when I expect it back and I make it clear that I want the money back exactly how I gave it to you. I don’t want half back and a promise to mow my lawn for two years or jack shit like that. I also only lend out what I’m willing to lose so I’m not put in a compromising situation. But no one ever asks me fr money so it’s not an issue.
    I can't tell you how many times somebody either hid from me when it was time to repay it, wanted to pay it back in installments or offered to do errands for me instead of giving me my money.
     
    Jay
    Jay
    I hate that. That’s the fade right there.

    GwynShivers

    Royal Sixer
    Tither
    App Beta Tester
    Messages
    4,775
    Reputation
    5,397
    Location
    Stone Mountain, GA
    zBucks
    12,099
    Sex
    Female
    Race
    Black
    I can't tell you how many times somebody either hid from me when it was time to repay it, wanted to pay it back in installments or offered to do errands for me instead of giving me my money.
    Those are the people that can't ever return for a favor, because they never intended to repay their debt.
     

    GwynShivers

    Royal Sixer
    Tither
    App Beta Tester
    Messages
    4,775
    Reputation
    5,397
    Location
    Stone Mountain, GA
    zBucks
    12,099
    Sex
    Female
    Race
    Black
    Same thing I said. In other words, now I have lost my friend and my money. I actually saw this saying at a beauty salon. The owner was tired of folks asking her for money since it is a cash only business.
    The other thing is, if it's a BOBO, some of our people are ALWAYS expecting A HOOK UP!
    Do you get hook ups from Anti-Black businesses?
    Support your people, period! Tip when you can, send your family & friends their way. Be a part of growing Black Wall Street, NOT destroying it!