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Are Black Boys/Men Becoming More and More Incels?

RCNAL

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My questions are:
1. Is this a concern or not enough of us Black males for it to be a concern?
2. What percentage of us do you think are like the white boy incel (Involuntary Celibate, etc)
3. If it is a problem, what are the solutions. We can discuss various root causes but if its a problem, what are the solutions?

 

Jay

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    I don't see how this can be an external issue. The periods of time where I had a hard time getting women was when my game was off and my money was tore up. When I got myself together the women came choosing. I may be missing something and I didn't watch the video but I think niggas feel entitled. They get caught up in the friend zone a couple times due to being a lame and then they start hating women.
     

    ART

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    Black male incels first need to stop befriending, hanging around and identifying with the racist white incels and other ain't shit non-Black males. They need to realize that they are Black first (instead of male first). Same with Black feminists, Black divestors, and Black LGBTQ who foolishly believe that the Black community is beyond repair and that these non-Black (especially white) feminists, zaddies/laurens, and LGBTQ are going to save them and have their backs in the long term.

    Finding camaraderie with self-haters like Fresh and Fit, and finding father figures in those like Kevin Samuels and racist non-Black manosphere figures will make them feel more and more isolated, confused, lost, and angry in the long run.
     

    RCNAL

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    The periods of time where I had a hard time getting women was when my game was off and my money was tore up. When I got myself together the women came choosing.
    If its not too invasive, 'How' did the women come choosing? Did sisters see how you were moving and made moves? Or you hung out in certain places or on dating apps and saw how you moved? Or you went to places and spaces where good women were and it was a combination of you spitting game, good personality, dressing better, etc and through that they found out you have a good job/career?
     

    Jay

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    If its not too invasive, 'How' did the women come choosing? Did sisters see how you were moving and made moves? Or you hung out in certain places or on dating apps and saw how you moved? Or you went to places and spaces where good women were and it was a combination of you spitting game, good personality, dressing better, etc and through that they found out you have a good job/career?
    Well I leveled myself up and it changed my confidence, my comfort with myself, it helped me understand what I was worth and my value which then informed what I deserve and will tolerate.

    This changed the way I moved in the world. I made the aesthetic changes to my clothes, car, etc and that had definitely had an impact but what women really saw was a confident man who had principles and direction…that’s what really attracted them to me.

    I didn’t pander, wasn’t thirsty, I carried myself that a woman is as lucky to be with me as I am to be with her. I landed a gig with 60% travel and I got to see how woman responded to me in multiple states.

    At the end of the day most Black men are locked out of systems economically and that’s the first step to becoming the man you wanna be. If you’re struggling everyone is going to see it and women aren’t attracted to struggle.
     

    Roparker71

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    This is a good question... I think the one of the reasons that a bunch of black men are becoming involuntarily celibate is because there's some black women that are divesting in black men (sistas dating non-black men)... and with the gay agenda being railroaded in the black community, women are dating (and marrying) women... and another reason is because some of us men don't want to hop in the bed with just anybody... I was celibate for the better part of 3 years before I met my wife... just a thought...
     

    Sun Light

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    This is a good question... I think the one of the reasons that a bunch of black men are becoming involuntarily celibate is because there's some black women that are divesting in black men (sistas dating non-black men)... and with the gay agenda being railroaded in the black community, women are dating (and marrying) women... and another reason is because some of us men don't want to hop in the bed with just anybody... I was celibate for the better part of 3 years before I met my wife... just a thought...
    Question isn't choosing celibacy the opposite of involuntary celibacy?? Another question what does divesting have to do with involuntary celibacy??
     

    Roparker71

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    Question isn't choosing celibacy the opposite of involuntary celibacy?? Another question what does divesting have to do with involuntary celibacy??
    To answer the first question... it's definitely different... it's involuntary when a person can't find the person that he/she wants to share themselves with... it's voluntary when a black man "saves himself" for the "right person"... to answer the second question... divesting has something to do with it because most black men want to be with a black woman. If black women are dating outside their race (divesting in black men) that's an issue for the black men that want to be with black women... therefore he's being involuntarily celibate because he wants to be with a black woman... I hope this clears it up for you...
     

    Sun Light

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    To answer the first question... it's definitely different... it's involuntary when a person can't find the person that he/she wants to share themselves with... it's voluntary when a black man "saves himself" for the "right person"... to answer the second question... divesting has something to do with it because most black men want to be with a black woman. If black women are dating outside their race (divesting in black men) that's an issue for the black men that want to be with black women... therefore he's being involuntarily celibate because he wants to be with a black woman... I hope this clears it up for you..

    To answer the first question... it's definitely different... it's involuntary when a person can't find the person that he/she wants to share themselves with... it's voluntary when a black man "saves himself" for the "right person"... to answer the second question... divesting has something to do with it because most black men want to be with a black woman. If black women are dating outside their race (divesting in black men) that's an issue for the black men that want to be with black women... therefore he's being involuntarily celibate because he wants to be with a black woman... I hope this clears it up for you...
    I really don't understand that. I thought he was referencing incels and that's not saving yourself.. As far as divesting black women outnumber black men and the small number of divestors overall all would not play a factor in involuntary celibacy.. The majority of mixed kids have black fathers not black mothers..
     

    BlackWarGod

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    My questions are:
    1. Is this a concern or not enough of us Black males for it to be a concern?
    2. What percentage of us do you think are like the white boy incel (Involuntary Celibate, etc)
    3. If it is a problem, what are the solutions. We can discuss various root causes but if its a problem, what are the solutions?

    I don’t understand how any black man can be an incel, we’re the only group where I see the extreme of our ranks being successful with women. From Pookie & Ray Ray to black businessmen, from a head filled with dreads to bald, oh and btw we seem to be the only group of men where women still dig us when we’re bald. Bezos is the face of nerds while Jordan, Steve Harvey, and Kareem are depicted as masculine. Can’t think of any non Black bald men getting that treatment.
     

    Jay

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    I don’t understand how any black man can be an incel, we’re the only group where I see the extreme of our ranks being successful with women. From Pookie & Ray Ray to black businessmen, from a head filled with dreads to bald, oh and btw we seem to be the only group of men where women still dig us when we’re bald. Bezos is the face of nerds while Jordan, Steve Harvey, and Kareem are depicted as masculine. Can’t think of any non Black bald men getting that treatment.
    How many do you hang out with though?
     

    RCNAL

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    Question isn't choosing celibacy the opposite of involuntary celibacy?? Another question what does divesting have to do with involuntary celibacy??
    I agree, choosing celibacy is 'voluntary celibacy' and involuntary celibacy is you wanting sex but can't find someone. The divesting women are small as hell statistically.
    For the sake of argument, if that was true, how do so many Pookie and Ray Rays hook up? The explosion of unwed moms says otherwise. There could be an argument for lack of quality black men and women and the term quality is subjective and depends on each person. Back in my day, my old neighborhood if a brother didn't have a kid, had a job with benefits, worked for the city, post office, even sanitation, and he wasn't in them streets, that was a catch to most sisters in the hood. To a sister with a degree, office job, a black professional is a good catch but not the postal worker.

    Also regionally. Atlanta got hella black women, but Santa Fe, New Mexico got under 1500 black people period. For whatever reason, Cali sistas don't feel me as much as east coast sistas....lol. So, it depends on you.

    Anyway, there are just too many brothers and sisters dating and hooking up, dating, and although the rate of marriages has dropped considerably, there are still 4 million marriages a year between black men and women.
     

    RCNAL

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    Well I leveled myself up and it changed my confidence, my comfort with myself, it helped me understand what I was worth and my value which then informed what I deserve and will tolerate.

    This changed the way I moved in the world. I made the aesthetic changes to my clothes, car, etc and that had definitely had an impact but what women really saw was a confident man who had principles and direction…that’s what really attracted them to me.

    I didn’t pander, wasn’t thirsty, I carried myself that a woman is as lucky to be with me as I am to be with her. I landed a gig with 60% travel and I got to see how woman responded to me in multiple states.

    At the end of the day most Black men are locked out of systems economically and that’s the first step to becoming the man you wanna be. If you’re struggling everyone is going to see it and women aren’t attracted to struggle.
    One thing I noticed that you wrote that is very significant. Making more money alone wasn't cutting it. And that's what some brothers get wrong. They may be in them books, studying to be an engineer. Money is tight, old car, just tryna make tuition, committing a lot of hours to study, so women aren't checking. They can understand that. Same when they go for a masters' degree. They get that.

    They make it, they are now making well into 6 figures and women still aren't checking and are angry and saying sisters ain't this and that. Their income changed but their mindset, etc, everything else other than money you said you upgraded yourself over, many brothers don't do and wonder why.

    I know a few of them I've met overseas who are now passport bros and a few exclusively only date latin american women or Asian women. Because women from developing countries on the surface to them 'accept them for who they are'. Nerdy, boring, no game. Reality is these women see a come up but that's another story.
     

    Roparker71

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    I really don't understand that. I thought he was referencing incels and that's not saving yourself.. As far as divesting black women outnumber black men and the small number of divestors overall all would not play a factor in involuntary celibacy.. The majority of mixed kids have black fathers not black mothers..
    I agree with one point... there are more biracial children with black fathers than black mothers... but... the divestment scenario does play a role in black men's involuntary celibacy...
     

    Sun Light

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    One thing I noticed that you wrote that is very significant. Making more money alone wasn't cutting it. And that's what some brothers get wrong. They may be in them books, studying to be an engineer. Money is tight, old car, just tryna make tuition, committing a lot of hours to study, so women aren't checking. They can understand that. Same when they go for a masters' degree. They get that.

    They make it, they are now making well into 6 figures and women still aren't checking and are angry and saying sisters ain't this and that. Their income changed but their mindset, etc, everything else other than money you said you upgraded yourself over, many brothers don't do and wonder why.

    I know a few of them I've met overseas who are now passport bros and a few exclusively only date latin american women or Asian women. Because women from developing countries on the surface to them 'accept them for who they are'. Nerdy, boring, no game. Reality is these women see a come up but that's another story.
    Being in developing countries is definitely a factor.. Those same ethnicities are the most racist in this country right.. In a developing country it's more of a survival tactics than anything else for the majority..
     

    Sun Light

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    I agree with one point... there are more biracial children with black fathers than black mothers... but... the divestment scenario does play a role in black men's involuntary celibacy...
    If you agree to that point then divesting would be a factor in black women's involuntary celebacy right??
     

    Roparker71

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    Not really, if bw outnumber bm and mixed kids for the majority have black fathers how can that work both ways??
    It does work both ways because there are black men (and women) that want to be with their own (despite the fact of who outnumbers who)... now if you want to play the numbers game to prove a point, be my guest... it still works both ways regardless of who outnumbers who...
     

    Sun Light

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    It does work both ways because there are black men (and women) that want to be with their own (despite the fact of who outnumbers who)... now if you want to play the numbers game to prove a point, be my guest... it still works both ways regardless of who outnumbers who...
    Prove what point?? You are the one saying that divesting is a factor in bm being incels.. I just said that if anyone could logical make that claim it would be bw.. However I never hear them saying that though..
     

    Red Velvet

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    I agree with one point... there are more biracial children with black fathers than black mothers... but... the divestment scenario does play a role in black men's involuntary celibacy...
    There’s not enough divestors to cause Black men to be involuntarily celibate. All the dating out Black men do, if they are involuntary celibate it’s because of themselves. It’s because they are not providing what we as women want.
     

    Roparker71

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    There’s not enough divestors to cause Black men to be involuntarily celibate. All the dating out Black men do, if they are involuntary celibate it’s because of themselves. It’s because they are not providing what we as women want.
    I agree with you on that... but if you read my original post, I stated that SOME black women are divesting...
     

    Nat Turner

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    It’s rarer for black men than white men. I remember not bulking up no matter how much I lifted, not being willing to blow my joints and brain for a one in a million chance at some “league” and spending my younger years focused on school and airplanes instead of being flashy and partying. The involuntary loneliness gave me more time to improve myself, actually. I love telling the nerds it gets better. Married 20 years now and although extremely happy, the peace and quiet wasn’t all that bad.
     

    Roparker71

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    It’s rarer for black men than white men. I remember not bulking up no matter how much I lifted, not being willing to blow my joints and brain for a one in a million chance at some “league” and spending my younger years focused on school and airplanes instead of being flashy and partying. The involuntary loneliness gave me more time to improve myself, actually. I love telling the nerds it gets better. Married 20 years now and although extremely happy, the peace and quiet wasn’t all that bad.
    And that's kinda the point I was trying to make... I was the same way (I found solace in practicing the martial arts)... and like you, I'm happily married... the involuntary celibacy was good for me...
     

    ProMoatBlack

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    Women are a conundrum to learn but I think incel is a stretch. I feel this may be true due to there not being enough solid game out there currently however one can always research the past for answers. The pimp game in it of itself should be an area of study by every young man.
     

    RCNAL

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    White male issues have started to creep into black life. That is a problem. Suicides among minors was always almost an exclusively white thing. Now we have of black kids committing suicide. I never heard of one growing up.

    Also, more and more black kids are being raised in almost all white suburbs or all white areas and have adopted the teen angst and issues of whites. Like depression. Maybe there was back in the day but you didn't hear of black kids suffering from depression. Depression now is a real thing. I had it several years ago. Didn't know what it was but in hindsight I realized it. I am thinking, me? Depressed like some Brad? I had middle income job, etc, but I was not happy at all.

    Anyway, I got out of it by changing everything. I changed careers, location, hit the gym and lost the weight I put on then some. I became more black conscious. I never had much problem with sisters, I could date but it was hard to find quality sisters (by my standards). I felt I was penalized for being single, no kids, educated and making a decent living..lol. A common response was 'You must be into white women' or 'You sure you like women?' I was either a bed buck or down low for doing the right thing. I realized any sista that said that was NOT the right woman (for me). A smart sista would want to holla at someone like that. Not that I don't have issues. I got more issues than a magazine stand. lol. But I'm aware of them and working on them (like not writing and talking so much obviously...haha).

    Anyway, I have long said that black people should go to therapy and I said it at a time it was a stigma. My best friend is a therapist. White people went to therapy and black people went to church. That was our therapy for a couple hundred years. Now we are going. My best friend can't schedule enough black people, she has a waiting list a mile long of black people who want therapy, the vast majority are black women.
     

    Jay

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    One thing I noticed that you wrote that is very significant. Making more money alone wasn't cutting it. And that's what some brothers get wrong. They may be in them books, studying to be an engineer. Money is tight, old car, just tryna make tuition, committing a lot of hours to study, so women aren't checking. They can understand that. Same when they go for a masters' degree. They get that.

    They make it, they are now making well into 6 figures and women still aren't checking and are angry and saying sisters ain't this and that. Their income changed but their mindset, etc, everything else other than money you said you upgraded yourself over, many brothers don't do and wonder why.

    I know a few of them I've met overseas who are now passport bros and a few exclusively only date latin american women or Asian women. Because women from developing countries on the surface to them 'accept them for who they are'. Nerdy, boring, no game. Reality is these women see a come up but that's another story.
    Spot on. I saw this tweet and it excudes what you said:



    Money can ensure stability and get you access to certain things but that’s it. A lame dude is a lame dude no matter what.
     

    InsaneOptimist

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    My questions are:
    1. Is this a concern,
    not enough of us Black males for it to be a concern?
    2. What percentage of us do you think are like the white boy incel (Involuntary Celibate, etc)
    3. If it is a problem, what are the solutions. We can discuss various root causes but if its a problem, what are the solutions?

    Watched the video & there is much to be discussed regarding this social construct, aberration, terminology etc. Coincidentally since the Moscow, Idaho slayings & other basic observations made by me in the community in which I live, I believe the term “Incel” is perhaps an accurate description of mannerisms, harsh existential realities, etc., that definitely, while perhaps always latent in this society, are & have been exacerbated by overindulgence in the AI/Online ecosystem. As best I can tell this term emerged in the ’90s, so this suggests at the least that this behavior is noted during the simultaneous rise and proliferation of the household & personal computer. The seeming intent by Sociologists, Feminists, & others like the gentleman in this video does seem more desirous of “Demonizing” men rather than scrutinizing society as a whole.
    So while women do not fit the profile, much can be said about the exploits & pursuit of Vanity that women & young Girls desperately pursue in these unofficial, undeclared yet obviously endless Beauty pageants occurring within the AI/Online ecosystem. The final outcome for many of these women, often death or Grotesque disfigurement is by comparison tragic, yet to a varying degree.
    Much space is needed, however, I end by saying all of the above behaviors are less likely to occur based on limited engagement in Cyber-Space.
    … A few thoughts from a layman…
     

    Nat Turner

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    IMO, it may look like there are black male incels, but that’s because necessary changes are being made. Young brothers are moving away from “I gotta have game” and “ I need to be SWOLE”. We’re climbing the socioeconomic ladder in a way we never have before. The sisters are ahead of us of course. Now it’s “I need to get into college, for STEM, Law, Finance, etc”. That’s causing young sisters to ignore them on their journey. But as a blerd, I can tell you, once your early goals are accomplished, they come around. OH MY GOD!!! do they come around. 😉
     

    Sapphire

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    There is a lot going on that needs to be unpacked. Black women are being told they can be miss independent and have it all so they don't prioritize being with good men. Then you have a society that is putting women above men while telling men how horrible they are. Then you have the LGBT+ agenda trying to feminize our men. Is it any wonder they end up just wanting to be left the f alone? My younger bro is going to be 20 this year and has only had ONE girlfriend and has been single for 2 years now. He said he is not concerned with women, he wants to focus on himself and figuring out his career. Does that make him an incel? Cause I think a lot of men that do this are considered incels until they have bank at 35 and suddenly every woman trying to knock boots.
     

    InsaneOptimist

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    InsaneOptimist

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    Excerpt from the aforementioned article:

    3.2. Dissociative identity & other mental disorders​

    A similar phenomenon has been observed in individuals with self-diagnosed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or adjacent quasi-psychiatric terms such as “person with Dissociated Identities” and “plurals” [35,48]. Indeed, the evolution of the online culture associated with DID or multiple personality disorder (MPD) has been richly chronicled [49]. The pluralist's online culture is an umbrella moniker that includes five distinct languageidentifiers regarding the etiology of Plurality defined by Plurals themselves including: (1): Traumagenic-Adaptive; (2) Traumagenic; (3) Traumagenic-Cultural; (4) Endogenic; and (5) Exogenic [35]. Notably, the endogenic and exogenic identifiers were identifiers created ‘de-novo’ and have no relation to empirical nomenclature. Based on these identifiers, three groups of plurals have been described. While the first two groups are related to conventional psychiatric clinical interpretations of and empirical research into DID (e.g., as potentially trauma-based), the third group is a pseudo-psychiatric group that includes those who identify as plurals but as not disordered [35].

    Hashtags such as #DID, as well as #borderlinepersonalitydisorder and #bipolardisorderhave received millions of views, and popular content creators post videos capturing them ‘switching alters’ (i.e., plurals). Impressions from both the lay public and clinical professionals have converged in the observation that a salient feature of this emerging DID and self-diagnosed mental illness social media posting and discourse is that it has a distinct appearance of being romanticized, glamourized, and sexualized (or possibly malingered) [[48], [49], [50], [51], [52]]. Accordingly, this may be one explanation for why many users claim to have ‘rare’ disorders like DID (with prevalence estimates ranging from 0.01% to 14% depending on sample characteristics and the methodology used to assess DID; especially among children the disorder is extremely rare [[53], [54], [55], [56]]), as well as the emergence of a ‘plurals community’ for DID. Such plurals communities include non-traditional peri-psychiatric non-disordered notions of DID that community members have created on their own and are liberated from conventional psychiatric nosology. It has been noted that non-diagnosed (or undiagnosed) claims of DID can negatively impact others in the DID plurals community who have clinically diagnosed DID and are seeking functional reintegration as a therapy endpoint [35].
     

    RCNAL

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    The big difference today that I hear is that many years ago in our grandmothers time or even before that, women who had graduated from...say..Spelman, Howard, were looking for quality men early and they didn't go anywhere near dusty brothers. They were even deemed stuck up.

    Today, women with degrees, even masters, and are cute are dating guys whose only attributes are they look good (tall, muscular and look like they can f*ck). They spend their 20s primarily with this type thinking the productive, quality men will always be around and find they aren't .

    On the other side, you have more productive, quality black men in their prime years, 30s, not tryna marry. They got options and are exercising it for a myriad of reasons.

    Lastly, divorce is no longer a social stigma. At some point this will get to the point that it will revert back to what it was like back in the day because there is no where else to go with it because its not working. The Ayesha Currys of the world will be envied and her 'strategy' tried more.
     

    Nat Turner

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    My questions are:
    1. Is this a concern or not enough of us Black males for it to be a concern?
    2. What percentage of us do you think are like the white boy incel (Involuntary Celibate, etc)
    3. If it is a problem, what are the solutions. We can discuss various root causes but if its a problem, what are the solutions?

     

    Totvi_Podcast

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    Watched the video & there is much to be discussed regarding this social construct, aberration, terminology etc. Coincidentally since the Moscow, Idaho slayings & other basic observations made by me in the community in which I live, I believe the term “Incel” is perhaps an accurate description of mannerisms, harsh existential realities, etc., that definitely, while perhaps always latent in this society, are & have been exacerbated by overindulgence in the AI/Online ecosystem. As best I can tell this term emerged in the ’90s, so this suggests at the least that this behavior is noted during the simultaneous rise and proliferation of the household & personal computer. The seeming intent by Sociologists, Feminists, & others like the gentleman in this video does seem more desirous of “Demonizing” men rather than scrutinizing society as a whole.
    So while women do not fit the profile, much can be said about the exploits & pursuit of Vanity that women & young Girls desperately pursue in these unofficial, undeclared yet obviously endless Beauty pageants occurring within the AI/Online ecosystem. The final outcome for many of these women, often death or Grotesque disfigurement is by comparison tragic, yet to a varying degree.
    Much space is needed, however, I end by saying all of the above behaviors are less likely to occur based on limited engagement in Cyber-Space.
    … A few thoughts from a layman…
    The brother is beating his own self to the ground. Man listen, I have been married before, divorced, had three relationships before the pandemic. I have been single since 2020. I have come to the decision to do me, obtain my place in this world. Finished school and i try to meet people. Wether it’s online or in person. No matter the circumstances. We need interaction. Big homey need to build his confidence.