The Cookout

[SOUPLLC]

Just cause I believe that black people don't believe in fairytales, and I think it's unfair that we have to raise our children with the notion of "This isn't a fairytale"
Well why not? I understand that it's tough out here for us but we can love, especially each other. As a black woman. I have created my own fairytale. regardless of people telling me I can't have it.

What do yall think?

 

[equis]

I think one big issue with relationships in the black community is that we carry so much trauma and baggage into them and don't know how to communicate out pains and fears in healthy ways to work together and have healthier relationships. That's why it's easier for people to give a cynical answer such as "this isn't a fairytale" when confronted with the notion that the relationship could be better and more loving. Though I'm not a proponent for unrealistic expectations and always want to be realistic, I've seen amazing examples in the black community of good, healthy, and loving relationships that aren't highlighted enough.

 

[SOUPLLC]

I think one big issue with relationships in the black community is that we carry so much trauma and baggage into them and don't know how to communicate out pains and fears in healthy ways to work together and have healthier relationships. That's why it's easier for people to give a cynical answer such as "this isn't a fairytale" when confronted with the notion that the relationship could be better and more loving. Though I'm not a proponent for unrealistic expectations and always want to be realistic, I've seen amazing examples in the black community of good, healthy, and loving relationships that aren't highlighted enough.

Thanks so much for your reply.

I think I might be biased about so many things and that’s why it’s hard for me to understand why people don’t believe in fairytale love.

I truly believe that if I work hard enough (even though I know there are obstacles that we face that others don’t)

But I want it and I will go get it. I wonder why others don’t think like that.

 

[equis]

Thanks so much for your reply.

I think I might be biased about so many things and that’s why it’s hard for me to understand why people don’t believe in fairytale love.

I truly believe that if I work hard enough (even though I know there are obstacles that we face that others don’t)

But I want it and I will go get it. I wonder why others don’t think like that.

I wish for the best. Certain things need to be addressed such as this crippling gender war and communication, but I have hope for the future of black love.

 

[RCNAL]

Just cause I believe that black people don't believe in fairytales, and I think it's unfair that we have to raise our children with the notion of "This isn't a fairytale"
Well why not? I understand that it's tough out here for us but we can love, especially each other. As a black woman. I have created my own fairytale. regardless of people telling me I can't have it.

What do yall think?

First, I love the spirit in which you made the post. I get that. I am also not sure exactly what you mean but I will attempt to respond with my understanding of what you said and its open to correction if you read it.

My humble opinion is that we should be raising our children with not only love but also with the confidence to be what ever they want to be. But I think they should know the road blocks and they should know about systemic white supremacy while still instilling racial pride in them (about our history, etc).

I don't think we can coddle and shelter them from white supremacy. I think one of the reasons we see the most suicides from blacks especially young blacks for the first time is that too many parents have tried to hide white supremacy from them.
We don't prepare for them for it. We send them to schools where the white teachers mistreat them. Where white classmates bully them, make fun of them and they contemplate suicide as a way to deal with it.

In my day I had white classmates who tried that sh*t and we (blacks) socked them. My first ever fight in school in first grade was a white boy calling me the n bomb. We are rasising too many boys who beta AF and its not doing them any good in society.

 

[Barida]

I have learnt to give tender love to my partner in spite of the challenges that we experience everyday. Black people deserves to feel all shades of true love and what love means. When people feel that there is more to give in love, then it becomes a bigger challenge because I believe that love flows.

 

[TeeGee]

Love is learnt and perceived differently what you might consider as a sign of been in love or been loved could be different from what another Individual perceives, and there are so many factors that influences what love feels like or is meant to be like to you.

Someone might have this perception that love in it's totality involves respect but some other might feel we having a good time and been able to do to each other what others wouldn't dare ( like calling ourselves names, taking your stuffs without permission atimes and many more ) without the other feeling offended.

But understanding is key to love thriving and having an understanding partner is the true fairytale because they only come around once in a lifetime.

 

[Heatice]

The simple truth is that everyone is capable of showing love but the question is why isn't it so in most of our black community? The simple answer I chip in here would be that most of us have been damaged so young by what we have been put through knowingly or unknowingly by our parents and the society. It's only those that have been able to avoid such wrackage seems to do well in showing love the way it's supposed to be.

 

[The Honorable]

Just cause I believe that black people don't believe in fairytales, and I think it's unfair that we have to raise our children with the notion of "This isn't a fairytale"
Well why not? I understand that it's tough out here for us but we can love, especially each other. As a black woman. I have created my own fairytale. regardless of people telling me I can't have it.

What do yall think?

What do you mean by fairy tale? A literary work or an actual fairy tale perception of reality?

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Just cause I believe that black people don't believe in fairytales, and I think it's unfair that we have to raise our children with the notion of "This isn't a fairytale"
Well why not? I understand that it's tough out here for us but we can love, especially each other. As a black woman. I have created my own fairytale. regardless of people telling me I can't have it.

What do yall think?

Unfortunately living in America you have to ensure your children have a realist understanding of where they are and the reality surrounding them. I do try to give my kids the best life that I can. I try to give them everything that they need and want. I try to give them all the things I didn't have growing but wish I did.

I don't forget though that things didn't turn out so bad for me so I try to give them a lot of the things I did have growing up too and teach them the things I was taught.

We will never live in a fairy tale being in America but we can make life as good and meaningful as possible!

 

[Sapphire]

I always tell people "you get what you give" when it comes to relationships. A lot of folks enter them expecting the world on a silver platter without putting any work in themselves OR they try to make relationships work with people who clearly don't want to be tied down. You want to find yourself a good partner, you need to value yourself first!

 

[GwynShivers]

Unfortunately living in America you have to ensure your children have a realist understanding of where they are and the reality surrounding them. I do try to give my kids the best life that I can. I try to give them everything that they need and want. I try to give them all the things I didn't have growing but wish I did.

I don't forget though that things didn't turn out so bad for me so I try to give them a lot of the things I did have growing up too and teach them the things I was taught.

We will never live in a fairy tale being in America but we can make life as good and meaningful as possible!

Making sure our children know the real, what precautions to take & what must be done to preserve their lives when facing these COONS & CAVE BEASTS!