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Getting back together after a breakup?

lexodyssey

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I'd like to say I'm the type that doesn't go back to a relationship when it's over, but that would be a lie lol It hasn't gone that way with every relationship I've been in, but I have had one where it became complicated towards the end. We eventually ended things for good, but it took a lot of back and forth to get there. Looking back, it feels like there was a lot of wasted time and energy on something that was crumbling, but I guess it's easy to look back and say that lol
 

Boss Hog

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I'd like to say I'm the type that doesn't go back to a relationship when it's over, but that would be a lie lol It hasn't gone that way with every relationship I've been in, but I have had one where it became complicated towards the end. We eventually ended things for good, but it took a lot of back and forth to get there. Looking back, it feels like there was a lot of wasted time and energy on something that was crumbling, but I guess it's easy to look back and say that lol
It's easy to say hard AF to do. I found that I have to divorce myself emotionally or I will never get away. If I don't make a clean break meaning no sex or anything I will always go back, it's how I'm wired. My ex and I had a crap relationship with good sex and after we broke up we would fool around and all the emotions would come rushing back and then there we go trying again. I've learned and grown from that.
 

Red Velvet

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    I'd like to say I'm the type that doesn't go back to a relationship when it's over, but that would be a lie lol It hasn't gone that way with every relationship I've been in, but I have had one where it became complicated towards the end. We eventually ended things for good, but it took a lot of back and forth to get there. Looking back, it feels like there was a lot of wasted time and energy on something that was crumbling, but I guess it's easy to look back and say that lol
    Isn't love something? I've had situations where I was in love and I kept going back over and over again hoping the situation would change. What I've come to accept is that when I leave, I leave for a reason. If it was worth saving I would have never left. It's just so difficult when your emotions are attached. It's easy to say what you will do when you're looking at it logically but when you involve emotions everything shifts.
     

    Tati 304

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    I'd like to say I'm the type that doesn't go back to a relationship when it's over, but that would be a lie lol It hasn't gone that way with every relationship I've been in, but I have had one where it became complicated towards the end. We eventually ended things for good, but it took a lot of back and forth to get there. Looking back, it feels like there was a lot of wasted time and energy on something that was crumbling, but I guess it's easy to look back and say that lol
    Sis this is something we all go through. I always go back I even went back to a very emotionally abusive ex over and over. I'm reading a book on attachment styles to see if it can help me solve some emotional issues I have in relationships.
     

    Caprice

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    Sis this is something we all go through. I always go back I even went back to a very emotionally abusive ex over and over. I'm reading a book on attachment styles to see if it can help me solve some emotional issues I have in relationships.
    I’m glad to see you’re doing the work. Most anxious and avoidant attachment styles are attracted to each other. What style do you think you identify with? I used to be very avoidant and a little anxious (what a combo 😬) but I’ve been doing the work and I’m leaning more into the secure attachment style now. I still have some work to do but we’re all a work in progress.
     

    sourgrapes

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    Young love is about lessons. I mean this is the way I see it anyways. We learn about ourselves while being with others and as we grow older and mature, we learn what works for us and what doesn't. We are more able to put our foot down and not drag things out so much. As one ages, time has more value and meaning. The important thing is that you get through all this and learn about yourself before you do a big commitment like marriage.
     

    Tati 304

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    I’m glad to see you’re doing the work. Most anxious and avoidant attachment styles are attracted to each other. What style do you think you identify with? I used to be very avoidant and a little anxious (what a combo 😬) but I’ve been doing the work and I’m leaning more into the secure attachment style now. I still have some work to do but we’re all a work in progress.

    Ir may sound strange but when I was younger I was anxious and after a couple bad relationships I became avoidant. When I see any signs that trigger me I start to back away. It’s not healthy but I’m finally addressing it head on instead of letting it kill all my relationships.
     

    Caprice

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    Ir may sound strange but when I was younger I was anxious and after a couple bad relationships I became avoidant. When I see any signs that trigger me I start to back away. It’s not healthy but I’m finally addressing it head on instead of letting it kill all my relationships.
    I can relate. But I realized relationships are about honestly and vulnerability, and we choose to work it our or walk away. I used to leave quickly, but now I communicate my needs and set boundaries first. And if things still don’t work then their loss.
     

    Troy

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    I can relate. But I realized relationships are about honestly and vulnerability, and we choose to work it our or walk away. I used to leave quickly, but now I communicate my needs and set boundaries first. And if things still don’t work then their loss.
    Was it hard getting to that point? A lot of people have those issues and just ride them until the wheels fall off.
     

    Caprice

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    Was it hard getting to that point? A lot of people have those issues and just ride them until the wheels fall off.
    Was it hard getting to that point? A lot of people have those issues and just ride them until the wheels fall off.


    It wasn’t hard. The first thing is being aware. Some people don’t even know they have attachment issues. But I realized if I wanted different results then I had to make some changes within myself. I had to do the work. I started reading books to help me on my journey.