The Cookout

[Goodness]

I was in an abusive relationship for 2years.
Each time I tried to leave, he would come crying and begging on his knees for forgiveness.
I would forgive.
All will seem fine until he starts the abuse again.

It was like I was running in circles until that day. He came for me as usual and the beating started.
I saw life ebbing out of me. I saw myself die and wake up several times

I knew I had to act fast. I needed to defend myself.
And that's when I did what I did.

With all the strength in me, I punched him in the nose.
He immediately left me and fell down flat, with blood oozing from his nose.

He was rushed to the hospital by a good Samaritan who came to visit my next-door neighbor.
Immediately after his discharge from the hospital, he sent me a message that he was done dating someone who would send him to the hospital.
I simply replied 'good riddance to bad rubbish

Guess what? The good Samaritan is now my husband. we have been married for 12years.
How did you handle yours?
Suggest ways to handle an abusive partner

 

[Jay]

I was in an abusive relationship for 2years.
Each time I tried to leave, he would come crying and begging on his knees for forgiveness.
I would forgive.
All will seem fine until he starts the abuse again.

It was like I was running in circles until that day. He came for me as usual and the beating started.
I saw life ebbing out of me. I saw myself die and wake up several times

I knew I had to act fast. I needed to defend myself.
And that's when I did what I did.

With all the strength in me, I punched him in the nose.
He immediately left me and fell down flat, with blood oozing from his nose.

He was rushed to the hospital by a good Samaritan who came to visit my next-door neighbor.
Immediately after his discharge from the hospital, he sent me a message that he was done dating someone who would send him to the hospital.
I simply replied 'good riddance to bad rubbish

Guess what? The good Samaritan is now my husband. we have been married for 12years.
How did you handle yours?
Suggest ways to handle an abusive partner

You have to get out by all means. I was in an abusive relationship and obviously I could have kicked her ass but that ain’t the point. I didn’t realize how difficult it was to leave these types relationships until i found myself in one. The abuser always tries to make it seem like it’s your fault for them hitting you. They make it seem like if you would do the right thing they wouldn‘t hit. So you end up walking on egg shells trying to keep them happy but it always fails.

You get stuck on this roller coaster of highs and lows. One minute yall are super happy and having great sex and then the relationship plunges into the abyss. Once I realized it was her and not me I got the hell up out. I knew I was going to catch a charge sooner or later.

 

[Sapphire]

I have seen it time and time again. Women feel stuck or like they have no options.

I think the best first step is to get some financial footing if you don't have any. Start to stash some money. Find someone you trust where you can crash when you are ready to bounce. If you have to, you go to the police and file a retraining order.

 

[SINCEREM]

That's wonderful indeed to hear that you found love with the good Samaritan, and the love has now lasted for 12 years and running. That good Samaritan is truly made for you and not the one who maltreated you.

 

[Barida]

Oh! He felt cool beating you for a longer period of time and felt bad when you gave you a dose of what he dished out to you? Well, that's very poor of him. I haven't been in a relationship that involved physical abuse since I may end up getting injured in the process. I like my women being submissive and understanding even when the situation is tensed up a bit.

 

[MarleyK20]

I was in an abusive relationship for 2years.
Each time I tried to leave, he would come crying and begging on his knees for forgiveness.
I would forgive.
All will seem fine until he starts the abuse again.

It was like I was running in circles until that day. He came for me as usual and the beating started.
I saw life ebbing out of me. I saw myself die and wake up several times

I knew I had to act fast. I needed to defend myself.
And that's when I did what I did.

With all the strength in me, I punched him in the nose.
He immediately left me and fell down flat, with blood oozing from his nose.

He was rushed to the hospital by a good Samaritan who came to visit my next-door neighbor.
Immediately after his discharge from the hospital, he sent me a message that he was done dating someone who would send him to the hospital.
I simply replied 'good riddance to bad rubbish

Guess what? The good Samaritan is now my husband. we have been married for 12years.
How did you handle yours?
Suggest ways to handle an abusive partner

At the first sign of abuse, leave. Too often missing signs, second guessing bad behavior, or compromising for the good parts of the relationship is where the trouble begins. It starts with us teaching our sons and daughters what abuse is, what it looks like and what to do if it happens to you. My mom told me to.stay in my abuse because she stayed in her abuse. Trauma bonds must be broken. The sooner the better.

 

[Jay]

At the first sign of abuse, leave. Too often missing signs, second guessing bad behavior, or compromising for the good parts of the relationship is where the trouble begins. It starts with us teaching our sons and daughters what abuse is, what it looks like and what to do if it happens to you. My mom told me to.stay in my abuse because she stayed in her abuse. Trauma bonds must be broken. The sooner the better.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!

I had hella red flags in front of my face and I ignored them. Partly because of ignorance and partly because of inexperience. I neglected relationships for so long in pursuit of business and it left me a sitting duck and a woman preyed on me. I’ll never want my son to do the same.

 

[MarleyK20]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!

I had hella red flags in front of my face and I ignored them. Partly because of ignorance and partly because of inexperience. I neglected relationships for so long in pursuit of business and it left me a sitting duck and a woman preyed on me. I’ll never want my son to do the same.

Teach your son the truth. The world sees them as potential and a paycheck. Women are groomed to seek out both but not respect it. Men and boys need MORE education on domestic violence and dark women because we have a whole generation of dark women are being groomed by dark, broken women who teach abuse as a tool of control.

 

[Harbinger]

Teach your son the truth. The world sees them as potential and a paycheck. Women are groomed to seek out both but not respect it. Men and boys need MORE education on domestic violence and dark women because we have a whole generation of dark women are being groomed by dark, broken women who teach abuse as a tool of control.

Dont you think that our culture of ensuring women bare mp consequence is partially to blame? I find it so novel when i meet a woman who holds herself to standards and accounatbility.

 

[MarleyK20]

Dont you think that our culture of ensuring women bare mp consequence is partially to blame? I find it so novel when i meet a woman who holds herself to standards and accounatbility.

I agree. Women are also responsible for the abusive culture. But it's really the system that designed a way for Black women to abuse Black men and get away with it without any repercussions. Women found a way to use the system to hem up brothers, not saying that men don't abuse but your comment is about women, and so they do what White women do. Threaten harm knowing the men will bear the burden of proving himself innocent.

 

[Travis]

I was in an abusive relationship for 2years.
Each time I tried to leave, he would come crying and begging on his knees for forgiveness.
I would forgive.
All will seem fine until he starts the abuse again.

It was like I was running in circles until that day. He came for me as usual and the beating started.
I saw life ebbing out of me. I saw myself die and wake up several times

I knew I had to act fast. I needed to defend myself.
And that's when I did what I did.

With all the strength in me, I punched him in the nose.
He immediately left me and fell down flat, with blood oozing from his nose.

He was rushed to the hospital by a good Samaritan who came to visit my next-door neighbor.
Immediately after his discharge from the hospital, he sent me a message that he was done dating someone who would send him to the hospital.
I simply replied 'good riddance to bad rubbish

Guess what? The good Samaritan is now my husband. we have been married for 12years.
How did you handle yours?
Suggest ways to handle an abusive partner

That is damn deep gal. I feel you.
Well, abusive partners make the situation very lonely and dangerous for those who aren’t in such relationships. I have worked with victims of domestic violence, and I have to say that their experiences have been extremely difficult and painful.

What i would recommend is just to be open and let them know you are not ok with the relationship. If it doesn't change, it is good to leave early enough before you get hurt more.

 

[Heatice]

I would never stay a day with an abusive partner for any reason whatsoever, even if she gives me all the money in the world, I would still leave in a heartbeat because I have seen where an abusive partner killed their lovers for something so foolish. I will never be in any relationship and wait for that to happen to me.

 

[TeeGee]

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship the best thing to do is leave, you are not gonna trade your safety and mental wellbeing to be in a relationship that would only cost your more tears.

 

[Heatice]

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship the best thing to do is leave, you are not gonna trade your safety and mental wellbeing to be in a relationship that would only cost your more tears.

The unlucky one's get killed in such abusive relationships and for what? Is it worth it for any reason whatsoever? I don't think so. If any relationship becomes abusive, it's very obvious that such relationships isn't meant to be in the first place.

Get out of it and move on with your life.

 

[nomad]

If you have an abusive partner, you should immediately get out of the relationship. This is what I learned from the recent Johny Depp trial. Why should you try to work on a relationship that is going to hurt you more?

 

[Peter Popoff]

Get you a bowl of hot grits and nacho cheese...

 

[Red Velvet]

Get you a bowl of hot grits and nacho cheese...

Your name checks out sir!

 

[Carbon]

Leave.

 

[Tati 304]

Leave.

Boy you know how hard that is! Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

 

[Carbon]

Boy you know how hard that is! Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

I feel you. Didn't say it was easy. It's just the hard truth. They do it once, they'll keep doing it. May be days or years. It will happen. Just begin removing yourself slowly. Keep a stash of money and a place to escape out of state or country.

 

[Jay]

I feel you. Didn't say it was easy. It's just the hard truth. They do it once, they'll keep doing it. May be days or years. It will happen. Just begin removing yourself slowly. Keep a stash of money and a place to escape out of state or country.

I lived this and eventhough it’s the easiest advice to give it’s the only real answer. Once hitting goes down you cant close the door to it. It’s always there, it always happened, and it‘ll happen again.

 

[Maxwell]

There is no point being in a toxic and abusive relationship. You can never have your peace of mind in it. The best thing to do is end the relationship no matter how difficult and painful it might seem for for you but on the long run, it would be for your own good.

 

[Ravenfreak]

It can be hard to just up and leave an abusive relationship. If your partner already abuses you, chances are if you try to leave they may try to hurt you worse in the process. My advice to anyone in an abusive relationship, try to keep in contact with other people whether it be your friends, or family. If you can try to come up with a plan and be sure to notify whoever you keep in contact with, so they can get you out of that situation.

 

[Red Velvet]

It can be hard to just up and leave an abusive relationship. If your partner already abuses you, chances are if you try to leave they may try to hurt you worse in the process. My advice to anyone in an abusive relationship, try to keep in contact with other people whether it be your friends, or family. If you can try to come up with a plan and be sure to notify whoever you keep in contact with, so they can get you out of that situation.

Excellent point that a lot of people don’t understand. The thought of that person killing you really goes through your mind. Especially as a woman, I would be terrified if a man was beating on me. Also there is emotional abuse and most abusers like to remove you from everyone you know. You end up feeling isolated so you advice of keeping in contact with family and friends that care about you is important.

 

[Danny]

To the best of my knowledge, being in any kind of relationship that doesn't suit you isn't a do or die affair. If it's not working with the current person, end it and move to another person. Some people are not even in any romantic relationship and they are doing just fine.