The Cookout

Finesse · 11/29/21

Getting married gets you some benefits financially, I don't know exactly what as I'm not yet married, but I heard you can get tax cuts and even support from the government. For those reasons alone, do you know anyone that married someone just to get the benefits of what marriage offers? I have heard of stories about people getting married to save someone from being deported. That's one thing, but I heard others who got married because of better health insurance, benefits with retirement, and more.

I don't think I could do it just for the benefits. Personally I want to get married to someone I love and live the rest of my life with her. Having the extras that marriage offers is nice, but I wouldn't marry just anyone either.

Deleted member 191 · 11/29/21

Before the LGBT+ community mafioso'd their way to legislative glory, they used to do it all the time. They'd marry "straight" and then get the benefits. Then get separated until the other person actually was ready to marry. My cousin lives in CA and when he was a social worker he saw a lot of divorces with children cases that I guess he had to look into to see if a guardian ad litem situation was needed. Anyway, he'd notice that when he'd meet with the parents (separately and usually white) you could tell clearly what the arrangement was.

Trillfate · 11/29/21

I don't know any people like that per se but over the course of my life Ive heard people talking about marriage for reasons other than love and I always take note.

A lot of people discuss marriage as a transactional thing

Bruh Man · 11/29/21

Finesse said:
Getting married gets you some benefits financially, I don't know exactly what as I'm not yet married, but I heard you can get tax cuts and even support from the government. For those reasons alone, do you know anyone that married someone just to get the benefits of what marriage offers? I have heard of stories about people getting married to save someone from being deported. That's one thing, but I heard others who got married because of better health insurance, benefits with retirement, and more.

I don't think I could do it just for the benefits. Personally I want to get married to someone I love and live the rest of my life with her. Having the extras that marriage offers is nice, but I wouldn't marry just anyone either.

A lot of niggas can’t relate cuz they aint got no benefits that separate them from er’body else. IF yall you got is a minimum wage check and some dick you ain’t out here competing.

sourgrapes · 11/30/21

My mother's friend who is white married a man who basically married her out of pity. He had a decent job with good insurance. He felt bad for her and wanted to marry her so she could get insurance among other things. The sad part is, she had no idea. He ended up getting some medical procedure done on his stomach, I think it was the band, and lost like 150 pounds and then started seeing another woman while they were still married and knocked her up. He ended up divorcing her and marrying the other woman... Only for the same thing to happen again. He ended up cheating on his new wife with someone else.

Goldilocks · 11/30/21

I friend of mine married his best friend from the military for all the benefits and additional money. They got divorced a few years ago because she wanted to marry someone else

Nicole0646_718 · 11/30/21

I think everyone who gets married does so for the benefits. whether it's financial, sex, kids, or convenience/comfort, job advancement, security - That's why when one or all of those benefits run out, the divorce rate is so high. Unrealistic expectations and unplanned outcomes. The inherent selfishness of human nature - the lack of balance, morals. Reciprocity.

lexodyssey · 11/30/21

I've only personally known of marriages done so one of them can stay in the US. I did hear of someone who got married just so they could get a military benefit and buy a house or something like that. I didn't know them personally so I'm not sure if it worked though.

Finesse · 11/30/21

HailCzr85 said:
Before the LGBT+ community mafioso'd their way to legislative glory, they used to do it all the time. They'd marry "straight" and then get the benefits. Then get separated until the other person actually was ready to marry. My cousin lives in CA and when he was a social worker he saw a lot of divorces with children cases that I guess he had to look into to see if a guardian ad litem situation was needed. Anyway, he'd notice that when he'd meet with the parents (separately and usually white) you could tell clearly what the arrangement was.

I heard it happened quite a bit. I knew a family that lied about their relationship and were seeing other people. I guess one of them happened to be from Russia and needed to get married, but wasn't in love in any way. I imagine it was more to do with keeping their orientation secret back then. But I could see a lot lying to their spouses about their intentions too.

Trillfate said:
I don't know any people like that per se but over the course of my life Ive heard people talking about marriage for reasons other than love and I always take note.

A lot of people discuss marriage as a transactional thing

They hide it good, cause they have to. But yeah, marriage can be a transactional thing when there's something needed from it.

sourgrapes said:
My mother's friend who is white married a man who basically married her out of pity. He had a decent job with good insurance. He felt bad for her and wanted to marry her so she could get insurance among other things. The sad part is, she had no idea. He ended up getting some medical procedure done on his stomach, I think it was the band, and lost like 150 pounds and then started seeing another woman while they were still married and knocked her up. He ended up divorcing her and marrying the other woman... Only for the same thing to happen again. He ended up cheating on his new wife with someone else.

Ah damn, that happens all the time. That's how I see those Russian mail order brides that all these white dudes be bringing to the states. Once they are married and have citizenship, they peace the hell out.

Goldilocks said:
I friend of mine married his best friend from the military for all the benefits and additional money. They got divorced a few years ago because she wanted to marry someone else

I forgot about military benefits. A friend of mine got married young when he was in the national guard, and I guess he got some good benefits for it. Can't complain him, but they were divorced within like 3-4 years I'd guess.

Nicole0646_718 said:
I think everyone who gets married does so for the benefits. whether it's financial, sex, kids, or convenience/comfort, job advancement, security - That's why when one or all of those benefits run out, the divorce rate is so high. Unrealistic expectations and unplanned outcomes. The inherent selfishness of human nature - the lack of balance, morals. Reciprocity.

Yeah that makes sense. Either way, we do get married and it does afford us these options. Once the kids are out to college is when I start to see divorces happening. They lose those benefits once their children become of age. So all they then have is whatever marriage gets for just the two of them.

sourgrapes · 12/1/21

Finesse said:
Ah damn, that happens all the time. That's how I see those Russian mail order brides that all these white dudes be bringing to the states. Once they are married and have citizenship, they peace the hell out.

You would think they would know what they are signing up for but most of them don't. Hard to feel pity for a man who falls for this mess.

Victorystatus · 12/29/21

I don't know of anyone in my friends circles that did this but I was just told by a woman that regardless of if she gets married or not she still wants a kid (anchor baby), regardless of the partner...

Jay · 12/29/21

Victorystatus said:
I don't know of anyone in my friends circles that did this but I was just told by a woman that regardless of if she gets married or not she still wants a kid (anchor baby), regardless of the partner...

That sounds horrible I feel sorry for whoever runs into her.

sourgrapes · 1/3/22

We had someone at the clinic recently who talked about this with me. She said that her friend married her so she could have good health insurance since she needed a lot of medical treatment. He didn't plan on getting married anyway so he was fine with helping her out. It is a shame people need to be reduced to this to get medical treatment that is more affordable.

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