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The foundations of success

The Honorable

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    The majority of Blacks were raised in a 'non traditional' home, mostly single moms. Some grandmothers, whatever. The vast majority of us were raised without being properly prepared for adulthood either because the person raising us didn't know better and/or didn't care to. Jason Black is correct about a great many of the Civil Rights generation and them 'ooooooooooold nigg*s'

    Whatever it is, it is what it is. The fact the majority of us were raised like that is a result of white supremacy systemically attacking the traditional black family (pre Civil Rights 75-80 percent of Blacks were from a 2 parent home).

    So, now that we have identified the problem and its causes, we deal with it as best we can, individually and as a group. The former (individually) being the easiest because you control you but you can't control others. Some of us will evolve into socially acceptable functioning people, some of us won't. Again, it is what it is.

    The one great thing about this movement, this site, and the way I presume we all think (Black empowerment) is that it will by default create an environment, community that will make it off code NOT to give your children the tools to prepare them for adulthood. Not just teaching about white supremacy but also the morals, ethics, the tools, etc. That child will be given an inheritance and be taught to grow it and make it bigger for his or her children creating generational wealth.

    We can spend a lot of time on arguing how we got here, which has some merit but the majority of the time would be wiser to be spent on how we grow and get better NOW.
    Very well said brother. If we feel as if our fate is predetermined what will be the motivation to strive? How can we teach men and women to grow if we keep them confined to their childhood? I understand what S.O.J.I.A. is saying, sans the condescension. However, how does such a thought process allow us to move forward as a community? In my opinion, it doesn't. We need strong men to lead but we cannot have strong men if there is no introspection.
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    We need strong men to lead but we cannot have strong men if there is no introspection.
    And you can't do it without a strong foundation.

    Our community being at the very bottom in every socio-political and socio-economic metric and the family structure being broken is not a coincidence.
     

    Sun Light

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    Jason Black has pointed out on numerous broadcasts how you're not gonna get everything from your parents. I heard him on a few occasions discuss the role of his own parents in his life and even heard him refer to his own father with a tone of great reverence and even fear.

    I agree that while you certainly cannot get everything from your parents, They can, should, and must, give you the foundational things you need so you can go out into the world and function. I believe Jason Black got these things from his parents which is why he is where he is today. Without them, he would have been like the majority of us in the so-called "black" community who are lost out here. If your parents don't do it, someone has to(and ultimately, someone, or something, will).

    The devil race has put no small investment into dismantling the "black" household and making it dysfunctional and broken because they understand this fact. It's extremely hard to outright impossible to change poor life habits you have had for 30 or 40 years. You carry these bad habits into your 30s and it's essentially over. Live and let die.

    Proper upbringing can't be understated on the subject of our people not being the builders, producers, and leaders we need.
    The majority of black people are lost?? How is that determined??
     
    D

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    Do you have kids? I have a son and no matter what I tell him he goes to school and does whatever he wants. Sometimes he makes the right choice, sometimes he doesn’t. As a parent you have a lot of influence but very little control when you think about it. They are their own people with their own thoughts and agendas.
    BIG FACTS! Just because you are right, doesn't mean your kids will listen to you. A lot of people have to do things the hard way or as I like to say "their way". I can tell my son a million times to quit standing on the couch, but it isn't until he cracks his head on the floor, that he will look up and say maybe "i shouldn't be standing on the couch, or running in the house."

    As for parents.....its up to us to fill in the gaps from whatver our parents didn't teach us. Even the best parents can't give you everything. Some parents had to make the choice between providing and resources and giving their time. And in some cases, the children may encounter stuff that even the parent can't help them with (like algebra). My parents did okay for being young parents, but they didn't have the resources to be GREAT parents. I had to figure a lot of stuff out by trial and error. It was on me to shed all the bad habits that i had picked up along the way. I could've made the same decisions and moved in a similar fashion as my folks did, or I could do the knowledge and figure out a different way. Nature is really simple. Either you adapt to your environment or you succumb to it.

    as much of our circumstance is something we are born into, its up to us an individuals to seek out resources to help ourselves. While it is true that everyone needs a mentor or mentors, it is also true that good advice is only effective if the advice is taken.
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    BIG FACTS! Just because you are right, doesn't mean your kids will listen to you.
    This means you don't have influence over your kids. Children Don't listen to what anyone says actually. They watch people. If they see your life contradicts your words they'll just toon you out.

    As for parents.....its up to us to fill in the gaps from whatver our parents didn't teach us.
    Where the parents fall short, someone else picks up for them..Like an algebra teacher. If no one teaches the kids about algebra they simply will never know it and when they encounter it in life they won't know what it is or how to deal with it unless someone steps in and teaches them. They're not gonna learn through osmosis. You don't learn anything through osmosis.

    Romans 10:14-15
    "How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? and how shall they preach, except they be sent?"

    You can't fill gaps you don't know exist.
     
    D

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    This means you don't have influence over your kids. Children Don't listen to what anyone says actually. They watch people. If they see your life contradicts your words they'll just toon you out.


    Where the parents fall short, someone else picks up for them..Like an algebra teacher. If no one teaches the kids about algebra they simply will never know it and when they encounter it in life they won't know what it is or how to deal with it unless someone steps in and teaches them. They're not gonna learn through osmosis. You don't learn anything through osmosis.

    Romans 10:14-15
    "How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? and how shall they preach, except they be sent?"

    You can't fill gaps you don't know exist.
    Do you have kids? You sound like someone talking from a textbook or the abstract.
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    Do you have kids? You sound like someone talking from a textbook or the abstract.
    Do you think someone having kids makes them an expert on child-rearing? Or someone being married makes them an expert on marriage relationships? Can a person not have insight on Child rearing or marriage relationships unless they have kids or are married? knowledge on these two subjects isn't exclusively experiencial.

    To answer your question however, no I do not.
     
    D

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    Do you think someone having kids makes them an expert on child-rearing? Or someone being married makes them an expert on marriage relationships? Can a person not have insight on Child rearing or marriage relationships unless they have kids or are married? knowledge on these two subjects isn't exclusively experiencial.

    To answer your question however, no I do not.
    you didn't have to answer, because we knew. Only someone who hadn't had kids would talk in such absolutes
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    you didn't have to answer, because we knew. Only someone who hadn't had kids would talk in such absolutes
    I rest my case......
    So you're saying:

    You don't have kids, therefore you cannot have any insight on how to raise them or how they behave.

    Really? All knowledge on how to raise a child is exclusively experiencial?
     
    D

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    Everyone is welcome to their own opinion, but I'll be taking the opinion on marriage or kids from someone who ain't never raised kids, been married (or a relationship) as seriously as I would take a non athlete talking about sports, or a white person talking about hip hop. You have to have earned your stripes. To even get a baby to toddler hood is one of the hardest things I ever did and it took at least 5 years off my life. You can read all the parenting books you want, but when it's your turn to put that newborn in a carseat and drive it home, then all bets are out the window. That's why I'm laughing at your take. You've been talking in absolutes this whole threads, not taking into account that everyone is different and responds differently to the various parenting styles out there. I was a person who was able to look at other's experiences and learn from their mistakes, and my brothers had to go through their own mistakes to learn from them. Now while I agree that parenting is a huge part of the learning process for kids, there is a point where a person has to decide what works for them as an adult, and what to leave behind. All a parent can do is their best, and hope that its good enough. What their "best" is will be relative to each person. Even so, there will always be mistakes and bad execution.
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    Everyone is welcome to their own opinion, but I'll be taking the opinion on marriage or kids from someone who ain't never raised kids, been married (or a relationship) as seriously as I would take a non athlete talking about sports, or a white person talking about hip hop. You have to have earned your stripes. To even get a baby to toddler hood is one of the hardest things I ever did and it took at least 5 years off my life. You can read all the parenting books you want, but when it's your turn to put that newborn in a carseat and drive it home, then all bets are out the window. That's why I'm laughing at your take. You've been talking in absolutes this whole threads, not taking into account that everyone is different and responds differently to the various parenting styles out there. I was a person who was able to look at other's experiences and learn from their mistakes, and my brothers had to go through their own mistakes to learn from them. Now while I agree that parenting is a huge part of the learning process for kids, there is a point where a person has to decide what works for them as an adult, and what to leave behind. All a parent can do is their best, and hope that its good enough. What their "best" is will be relative to each person. Even so, there will always be mistakes and bad execution.
    .....I didn't give you an opinion nor was I trying to give you advice. I made a factual observation.

    If you are giving instructions to your children and they are ignoring them consistently, this means you do not have influence over your children. It means they don't value your input. This isn't about stripes or experience, it's about words having definitions.

    This originated from someone saying they tell their kids to do things and they constantly ignore it and then claiming they have influence but not control and I responded saying you actually don't have influence. Not advice, not an opinion, just a factual observation based on the information provided.

    I totally agree that I would not value the opinion or advice of someone who isn't in the field. However, A fact is a fact no matter where it comes from.
     
    D

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    .....I didn't give you an opinion nor was I trying to give you advice. I made a factual observation.

    If you are giving instructions to your children and they are ignoring them consistently, this means you do not have influence over your children. It means they don't value your input. This isn't about stripes or experience, it's about words having definitions.

    This originated from someone saying they tell their kids to do things and they constantly ignore it and then claiming they have influence but not control and I responded saying you actually don't have influence. Not advice, not an opinion, just a factual observation based on the information provided.

    I totally agree that I would not value the opinion or advice of someone who isn't in the field. However, A fact is a fact no matter where it comes from.
    you do realize we can go back and read the thread, right?
     

    Boss Hog

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    So you're saying:

    You don't have kids, therefore you cannot have any insight on how to raise them or how they behave.

    Really? All knowledge on how to raise a child is exclusively experiencial?
    No, since you don’t have kids youve never experienced how you can give them all the advice in the world and they’ll still do what they want. Thats why you’re making the statements that you are. It’s out or ignorance but you’re too arrogant to listen.
     

    S.O.J.I.A.

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    No, since you don’t have kids youve never experienced how you can give them all the advice in the world and they’ll still do what they want. Thats why you’re making the statements that you are. It’s out or ignorance but you’re too arrogant to listen.
    Why not just admit you're not able to gain influence over your kids instead of doubling down on an argument from authority fallacy of you're not in this position so you can't make a factual observation?

    If you give instructions to a kid, or anybody, and they constantly disregard it, you have no influence over them. That's not an opinion, that's a fact.