The Cookout

[lexodyssey]

Besides the obvious things like cheating, what do you not tolerate in a relationship? For me, it's name-calling and shouting. We can argue without being disrespectful to each other. I feel like it's hard to go back to normal once you've crossed certain lines.

 

[Jay]

I feel like it's hard to go back to normal once you've crossed certain lines.

This is absolute facts especially with things like putting hands on one another. Once someone crosses that line it's always crossed.

Things that I don't tolerate in relationships are hitting, it may seem obvious but I've been with women who don't agree and they'll hit you and then ask you what you want for dinner.

Other things I don't tolerate is "not listening". If I speak to you I want to be heard, if I'm not heard I'm going to try to remediate, it I can't I'm gone.

I also like you don't tolerate the raising of voices and general disrespect. We need to be able to communicate and work through problems with love and the understanding that we are one and on the same team.

 

[sourgrapes]

Yeah, I am not on the name-calling. If you disrespect me with your mouth, I won't do it back I will just end the relationship.

Most couples have arguments and disagreements but how they are handled is everything. If one or both people are unwilling to listen, things are going south fast. You have to be able to communicate. If you can't in the heat of things you need to be able to just say you need time to cool off.

Like I want my partner to be comfortable enough with me to talk to me and work through things together but not so comfortable he thinks he can talk to me like a child.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

That phone. You cant ask someone to get rid of their phone but i think the phone is the root of all dat evil. Facebook and Ig notifications. I knew a chick took a screen shot of her phone wit no notifications and made that her screensaver so it look like it aint BLOWIN up. I didnt know about that till it happened.

 

[Tati 304]

That phone. You cant ask someone to get rid of their phone but i think the phone is the root of all dat evil. Facebook and Ig notifications. I knew a chick took a screen shot of her phone wit no notifications and made that her screensaver so it look like it aint BLOWIN up. I didnt know about that till it happened.

You're one of those? All up in your woman's phone? You know we don't have to use the phone to cheat right?

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

I dont go through Phones. Youre not ready to see what she looks at. You look at your old man's phone break yo heart. SAME IF HE SEES YOURS.If you on your phone all day it must be important to share.Rite?

 

[Tati 304]

I dont go through Phones. Youre not ready to see what she looks at. You look at your old man's phone break yo heart. SAME IF HE SEES YOURS.If you on your phone all day it must be important to share.Rite?

What I'm doing on my phone is none of your business man or not. It's insecure to be worried about what I'm doing on my phone. If you was holding it down you wouldnt have to be concerned.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

You showed why its a problem. Thats why I refuse to put up with it. Thats too much.Its something wrong with me because you CHERISH a device that can hide your OTHER life. Your secrets feed your apetite for control of the situation because YOU think YOURE one uping me cause I DONT KNOW.LOL

 

[Tati 304]

You showed why its a problem. Thats why I refuse to put up with it. Thats too much.Its something wrong with me because you CHERISH a device that can hide your OTHER life. Your secrets feed your apetite for control of the situation because YOU think YOURE one uping me cause I DONT KNOW.LOL

But what if I'm not living a double life? What if I'm studying or working?

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

A phone shouldt be THAT important. The invention of it isnt one hundred years old.WE DID live Without TECH. Millenials.

 

[Tati 304]

A phone shouldt be THAT important. The invention of it isnt one hundred years old.WE DID live Without TECH. Millenials.

Are you on a phone now?

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

No im not

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

I barely take my phone with me. I dissassemble my phone when I ride out of town on the interstate.I put it back together when i make it to my destination. I know im being tracked but i try to avoid the radiation sometimes

 

[Jay]

I barely take my phone with me. I dissassemble my phone when I ride out of town on the interstate.I put it back together when i make it to my destination. I know im being tracked but i try to avoid the radiation sometimes

Don’t get an iPhone then bruh.

 

[Goldilocks]

Arguing. I hate arguing. When someone starts to get overly emotional about something so simple and solvable I check out. I can’t. Address me like an adult.

 

[HeffDawg]

Most couples have arguments and disagreements but how they are handled is everything. If one or both people are unwilling to listen, things are going south fast. You have to be able to communicate. If you can't in the heat of things you need to be able to just say you need time to cool off.

This right here. When the respect is flung out the window the conversation ceases.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

Don’t get an iPhone then bruh.

I dont. What kind of device dosent allow you to remove the battery. Well a manufacturer that knows what the device does.

 

[Jay]

I dont. What kind of device dosent allow you to remove the battery. Well a manufacturer that knows what the device does.

Feds can turn your phone on even if it's off too.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

Feds can turn your phone on even if it's off too.

You right.

 

[AfroAboriginalAmerican]

Friends of the opposite sex.

 

[Troy]

Friends of the opposite sex.

I’m with you on this one. Any dudes hovering around your lady are looking for an in road to smash. They‘ll sabotage your relationship in a heartbeat if it looks like it’ll get them closer to sex. If he ain’t gay or some dude she knew since she was 4 it’s a no go.

 

[Tati 304]

Friends of the opposite sex.

Are you insecure? If you're giving your women what she needs why be concerned with other men?

 

[Victorystatus]

When I was in undergrad, I hit a rough patch in a 2.5yr relationship and I came across 2 videos from Tariq before HC4. "Mack Lessons 7 levels of Disrespect" and "How to spot a bedwench". Stopping everything at verbal disrespect is key because it can prevent escalation to physical harm, but over time you can prevent disrespect and maintain a cool vibe about yourself.

 

[Troy]

When I was in undergrad, I hit a rough patch in a 2.5yr relationship and I came across 2 videos from Tariq before HC4. "Mack Lessons 7 levels of Disrespect" and "How to spot a bedwench". Stopping everything at verbal disrespect is key because it can prevent escalation to physical harm, but over time you can prevent disrespect and maintain a cool vibe about yourself.

It goes back to the saying “if you give an inch theyll take a foot”. When you let them verbally abuse you, that’s you giving them the inch.

 

[InsaneOptimist]

In any relationship plutonic or intimate I refuse to continue any exchange give or take with anyone who persists in espousing WS talking points or Practices WS, Coon behavior, etc. I just “wrote off” 1 associate who is intellectually lazy. After years of encouraging him to enhance & learn computer skills he still likes to go down to the local nonprofit & have some 18 yr old white college student check his email, and perform other simple online tasks. The man is 61 yrs old & is comfortable doing this, watching Soap Operas, football etc. 🤮🤮

 

[Jay]

In any relationship plutonic or intimate I refuse to continue any exchange give or take with anyone who persists in espousing WS talking points or Practices WS, Coon behavior, etc. I just “wrote off” 1 associate who is intellectually lazy. After years of encouraging him to enhance & learn computer skills he still likes to go down to the local nonprofit & have some 18 yr old white college student check his email, and perform other simple online tasks. The man is 61 yrs old & is comfortable doing this, watching Soap Operas, football etc. 🤮🤮

Safest way to live life. There was a dude who got jammed and almost lynched in Indiana because he refused to see the signs. Walking around with them folks in the sticks and got caught up.

 

[GwynShivers]

Unecessary B.S.! Arguing, no compromise, no communication, no commitment, no love, no support, controlling, verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse & being an overall asshole & that's on both sides, mine & his! 💯

 

[The Honorable]

Unecessary B.S.! Arguing, no compromise, no communication, no commitment, no love, no support, controlling, verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse & being an overall asshole & that's on both sides, mine & his! 💯

I definitely can tell you've been around the block ass everything you listed are the true barriers to a successful relationship.

 

[Drakbluud]

Don't tolerate girls who are loud/mean or starting shit with everything/everyone like wildin out something. Also if she lies it's a deal breaker.

 

[Drakbluud]

That phone. You cant ask someone to get rid of their phone but i think the phone is the root of all dat evil. Facebook and Ig notifications. I knew a chick took a screen shot of her phone wit no notifications and made that her screensaver so it look like it aint BLOWIN up. I didnt know about that till it happened.

Yeah that's another I forgot. A chick with her nose glued to her phone screen is a no-go. But that's not gonna happen anyways because I wouldn't let her get close to begin with. I remember this chick had a huge crush on me and I thought I might be down, until we bumped into eachother at college and all she did was pay attn. to her phone. MAJOR turn off. Some chicks just want a glamoured out clout chaser. Some chicks are just SUPER shy and think they can't without a phone. Ladies, please try to put down the phone for a little. Just some quiet zen together, and you can have me.

 

[SIXDIMENSIONS]

Yeah that's another I forgot. A chick with her nose glued to her phone screen is a no-go. But that's not gonna happen anyways because I wouldn't let her get close to begin with. I remember this chick had a huge crush on me and I thought I might be down, until we bumped into eachother at college and all she did was pay attn. to her phone. MAJOR turn off. Some chicks just want a glamoured out clout chaser. Some chicks are just SUPER shy and think they can't without a phone. Ladies, please try to put down the phone for a little. Just some quiet zen together, and you can have me.

You might get a kidney from her before she let a phone go. The phone is THE Gateway to the World Wide Universe.The many lives she lives and want to live is inside of this device.

 

[Jay]

Yeah that's another I forgot. A chick with her nose glued to her phone screen is a no-go. But that's not gonna happen anyways because I wouldn't let her get close to begin with. I remember this chick had a huge crush on me and I thought I might be down, until we bumped into eachother at college and all she did was pay attn. to her phone. MAJOR turn off. Some chicks just want a glamoured out clout chaser. Some chicks are just SUPER shy and think they can't without a phone. Ladies, please try to put down the phone for a little. Just some quiet zen together, and you can have me.

She gonna be on that phone posting all your business.

 

[Lamont]

A behavior that is unacceptable to me is the inability to respect our privacy. Everything that goes on within our residence is not for public consumption. If we happen to have a spirited disagreement, twitter, your mother, your friend are not to be your counsel. Keep our issues within the family so that we can resolve with peace and love.

Don't tolerate girls who are loud/mean or starting shit with everything/everyone like wildin out something. Also if she lies it's a deal breaker.

You shouldn’t accept this behavior in anyone around you, it’s a recipe for disaster especially as Black men.

 

[Devin]

This is an excellent question and I would love to share my input. First, I would not put up with my partner saying negative things about me, I'm not a fan of mental abuse, if you are doing this in a relationship, shame on you. Second, I would not put up with any physical violence, if a partner is attempting to harm you in any way, that's a major red flag, get out of the relationship, do not let it carry on, and become a situation you cannot escape. I have a few other things I could comment about, but I believe the two I just shared are my main ones. They are inexcusable and I will not tolerate them in any way, form, or fashion.

 

[Goodness]

I hate being bossed around to do your bidding. I am a lady who has her decisions to make. I don't need anyone to make it for me.
It puts me off.
I cant put up with a lazy man.

 

[Barida]

I can never put up with a saucy lady. Once I notice that she doesn't have regards for people, I have to be careful. I love my women respecting people no matter how poor or wealthy that they are.

 

[Sapphire]

Lying, flirting with other women, physical or emotional abuse, being friends with females (exes or otherwise) outside his family, shouting/being loud, having anger issues, being unreliable, making jokes about everything, not having any goals in life, being a drunk or having some sort of addiction.... I can go on and on but those are the big ones for me.

 

[TeeGee]

Personally I don't like my woman with too many male friends a few is okay with me, but when she start having too many guys around her she call friends it's kinda like a red flag to me, cos I feel she wouldn't ever feel satisfied with me and would always need another guy to give her some of what I might be lacking as the man.

 

[GwynShivers]

Personally I don't like my woman with too many male friends a few is okay with me, but when she start having too many guys around her she call friends it's kinda like a red flag to me, cos I feel she wouldn't ever feel satisfied with me and would always need another guy to give her some of what I might be lacking as the man.

Women feel the same way about their men having lots of female friends. If you like it, I love it. But realize you have no bitching rights when males start flocking around.

 

[Maxwell]

You don't disrespect me in any way in our relationship. Be it by your attitude, reactions and actions, it would never stand for me. Also, I don't like any form of abuse in my relationship. If we can't have a common ground in these things, there's no reason why I should be in the relationship in the first place.

 

[Danny]

I can't deal with any woman that nags like hell. It gives high blood pressure and it's something that I don't want to start suffering from at a very young age. Women then nags are always too difficult for me, I don't know how to have an understanding with them because most of the time, all they do is talk and never care to listen.

 

[MarleyK20]

Besides the obvious things like cheating, what do you not tolerate in a relationship? For me, it's name-calling and shouting. We can argue without being disrespectful to each other. I feel like it's hard to go back to normal once you've crossed certain lines.

I absolutely will not put with physical and verbal abuse, cheating, stupid, willfully ignorant men, men who like to hang out with their boys ALL THE TIME, men who drink and club excessively, men who don't take care of their kids financially or physically, a man who won't work because that means he won't eat and neither will I, men who will not lead, a weak man who stands for nothing, men with mental health issues, treated or otherwise, and men who don't know how to appreciate being served by old fashioned sisters. Men lacking moral character and integrity and liars are also off the table for me too.

 

[SINCEREM]

I wouldn't tolerate over social from the woman, act of being disrespectful. Aside from sex, the woman I want in my life should always wear the heart of being respectful and not being too social to people.