The Cookout

[Devin]

Relationship is built on trust, faith, love tolerance and commitment. Without having all these qualities in your relationships it's going to be very difficult for that relationship to thrive which means that one party in the relationship must be willing to put in more effort in order to sustain the relationship.

Should it be the man or the woman that puts more effort in such situations in order to keep the relationship going?

 

[Blackgravity]

In my opinion, that's not a valid question.
The love between 2 people should be equal, if it's not, something is wrong. can people fall out of love?, yes and it's usually mutual.
but if someone has to ask this may be the choice in partners/lover wasn't a good choice.

 

[Mastamind]

If it ain't mutual it's going to fail

 

[Devin]

In my opinion, that's not a valid question.
The love between 2 people should be equal, if it's not, something is wrong. can people fall out of love?, yes and it's usually mutual.
but if someone has to ask this may be the choice in partners/lover wasn't a good choice.

I don't really think that it's ever going to be equal in terms of how both love each other. One must definitely be into it more but I do agree that the relationship must be mutual.

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

Married woman here.
I think that responsibility falls on the woman. Respect should be mutual.
But when it comes to the every day nuisance of being with somebody day in and day out I think sisters need to step it up.
We're put here to nurture, not only children but our men even more so.
In my experience the outlook, or spirit I approach my man with makes all the difference.
When we learn to truly respect our men the way they deserve to be respected, we will realize what a privilege it is to be cared for by a black man.
With that realization comes the willingness to be the party more willing to love and give grace in difficult situations.

 

[Jay]

Married woman here.
I think that responsibility falls on the woman. Respect should be mutual.
But when it comes to the every day nuisance of being with somebody day in and day out I think sisters need to step it up.
We're put here to nurture, not only children but our men even more so.
In my experience the outlook, or spirit I approach my man with makes all the difference.
When we learn to truly respect our men the way they deserve to be respected, we will realize what a privilege it is to be cared for by a black man.
With that realization comes the willingness to be the party more willing to love and give grace in difficult situations.

It requires trust and that’s what I think women have to learn. They need to learn to trust men but also learn how to give the trust to the right man. I feel like a lot of women give their trust to a bozo, he lets them down, and they move on scarred and guarded in every other relationship.

 

[Mrs. BLACKRADICAL]

It requires trust and that’s what I think women have to learn. They need to learn to trust men but also learn how to give the trust to the right man. I feel like a lot of women give their trust to a bozo, he lets them down, and they move on scarred and guarded in every other relationship.

That's a word. A lot of sisters don't think. Like at all when it comes to picking partners.
There's a decision that must be made by women. To move on from their stupid decisions and start over. I know plenty of brothers looking for a wife and plenty of sisters that run them off with their behavior.

 

[Barida]

I've got to be honest here. When it comes to relationships, women should love more. The role of the husband should be to protect the fiance and ensure that she gets most of the things that she needs. There is nothing wrong with the man loving more, but some women can punish you when you display this kind of too much love.

 

[TeeGee]

I don't really think it's the sole responsibility of anyone in the relationship to love the other more, cos love is meant to be given equally though some much measure actions of another to mean that they are showing more love but this isn't supposed to be so, y'all in a relationship should try to give as much love to the other as they expect to receive.

 

[Sapphire]

It depends on the individuals in the relationship. Not everyone is the same. Like some people are more about giving, and some are more about receiving. If the balance is right, no one gets taken advantage of. The only time this becomes an issue is when the relationship is completely one-sided.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

I'm not really sure on that. In the situation of my relationship I feel like I show it more but that's just how I am. I'm not at all shy and don't mind public display of affection.
My wife isn't so touchy feely and is more shy and conservative so she doesn't really like public displays of affection. I don't think that necessarily means she loves me less though.
Now if I were asked directly I'd say I love her more than she loves me and I have my own personal reasons for believing that which I'll talk about.

Part of our wedding vows were that we would never go to sleep angry at each other. We always talk out our differences and apologize about any arguments before going to sleep. No exceptions!

A good rule for any relationship is that as long as both of you don't fall out of love at the same time then the relationships stands a chance to continue. When both of you decide at the same time it's not worth it anymore then the relationship doesn't have much chance of surviving!

Based on that logic one person is always more willing to fight or give up things to keep it going. That's usually me which is why I think it's me that loves more.

Now that could just be that I'm not as stubborn as her too! But I think the more important thing is that you both love each other and are willing to grow!

 

[Sovereign]

I'm not really sure on that. In the situation of my relationship I feel like I show it more but that's just how I am. I'm not at all shy and don't mind public display of affection.
My wife isn't so touchy feely and is more shy and conservative so she doesn't really like public displays of affection. I don't think that necessarily means she loves me less though.
Now if I were asked directly I'd say I love her more than she loves mime and I have my own personal reasons for believing that which I'll talk about.

Part of our wedding vows were that we would never go to sleep angry at each other. We always talk out our differences and apologize about any arguments before going to sleep. No exceptions!

A good rule for any relationship is that as long as both of you don't fall out of love at the same time then the relationships stands a chance to continue. When both of you decide at the same time it's not worth it anymore then the relationship doesn't have much chance of surviving!

Based on that logic one person is always more willing to fight or give up things to keep it going. That's usually me which is why I think it's me that loves more.

Now that could just be that I'm not as stubborn as her too! But I think the more important thing is that you both love each other and are willing to grow!

Your marriage sounds too good to be true.

You and your wife have some really good habits that will serve you well. I love that you two do not go to sleep angry. Also committing to talking things out is super important. How hard is it to do it in practice when emotions are flaring?