The Cookout

[Banks]

I saw something on instagram, but can't find the link. It was basically a subreddit thread in AITA (Am I The Asshole?) where a man explains that he and his wife didn't want to have kids, he even had a vasectomy and still wore condoms during sex. They even discussed having an abortion if it happened, or possibly adopting the child out. And she said she was on birth control, that is until, surprise, a new kid was on the way. She stopped taking birth control. He wasn't sure how it happened, especially with the vasectomy. He thought she cheated. So he had various paternity tests done, and it turned out to be 100% his child. The vasectomy didn't work. She ended up wanting to keep the child, while he had no interest at all in raising a kid as they previously discussed. She wouldn't even allow adoption. So, they end up getting divorced and now he will be responsible to pay child support since he has no intentions of being in his kids life.

I would divorce her too. If someone doesn't want to have kids, you kinda have to honor that decision or leave them. Because if it's a deal breaker, you can't just force a kid on someone either. They agreed to having no kids and she changed her mind. He was still intending on not having kids. But, he is partly to blame for not making sure his vasectomy was successful. I guess they have to go to the doctors 3 months and a few more after to make sure the surgery was successful.

What's your view on this? I imagine most of ya wouldn't be very happy. This guy just doesn't seem to be for kids. But I can see some people changing their mind once they hold their child in their arms. I'd still divorce her, because she still broke my trust, but I'd take an active role in my child's life still.

 

[sourgrapes]

Accidents happen and nothing is foolproof. You have sex, you take the risk. That is the way I look at it. He should have made sure 100% that kids weren't going to happen by making sure the surgery was done properly and maybe inquired about his wife getting an IUD or something. Even then, there is always the chance.

I feel like he will regret it later in life though. When his child is completely absent from his life. It is going to hurt him and the child both but that is the price you pay. I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other on this. No one is more at fault. You can't expect a woman to give up a baby or decide to give up a baby months or years prior to being pregnant and you can't rely on birth control 100%.

 

[Goldilocks]

He's a piece of shit. He should have not been shooting up the club and should have made sure the procedure was done correctly. You don't abandon your family. Besides what's the purpose? You still have to split your money between 2 households. Might as well make the best of it.

 

[Banks]

Accidents happen and nothing is foolproof. You have sex, you take the risk. That is the way I look at it. He should have made sure 100% that kids weren't going to happen by making sure the surgery was done properly and maybe inquired about his wife getting an IUD or something. Even then, there is always the chance.

I feel like he will regret it later in life though. When his child is completely absent from his life. It is going to hurt him and the child both but that is the price you pay. I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other on this. No one is more at fault. You can't expect a woman to give up a baby or decide to give up a baby months or years prior to being pregnant and you can't rely on birth control 100%.

True. Which is why he should have made sure the vasectomy worked. He could have been the full stop to a child, but with his stuff still working, and his wife then dropping birth control, it was inevitable. He just didn't know it.

Idk if he will though. What I had read was that he didn't have any intentions of being in the child's life, going as far to say that he tried to connect with the child, but it wasn't happening. Maybe he's emotionless or something. But it seems he was set not being involved at all. He seemed to understand that he had to pay child support, and he will I guess.

He's a piece of ish. He should have not been shooting up the club and should have made sure the procedure was done correctly. You don't abandon your family. Besides what's the purpose? You still have to split your money between 2 households. Might as well make the best of it.

True, he should have made sure that the procedure worked before sex, but he didn't, so he's stuck paying child support now.

 

[sourgrapes]

True. Which is why he should have made sure the vasectomy worked. He could have been the full stop to a child, but with his stuff still working, and his wife then dropping birth control, it was inevitable. He just didn't know it.

Idk if he will though. What I had read was that he didn't have any intentions of being in the child's life, going as far to say that he tried to connect with the child, but it wasn't happening. Maybe he's emotionless or something. But it seems he was set not being involved at all. He seemed to understand that he had to pay child support, and he will I guess.

I guess some men just don't have it in them to raise a kid or bond with them. Some have issues with babies, toddlers, and kids but can make connections as they get older while older lose that connection as their children grow up. Others just never have it to begin with.

 

[AintShit]

I would have just buckled down bul ain't shit if you have sex there's always a chance a pregnancy will happen even if it's 1% and if she wasn't going to get rid of it and he was already financially tide with her he should just made the best of it and stayed

 

[Jay]

I would stick with it because we would have been under the impression that I had a vasectomy which makes sense for her to stop taking birth control. Birth Control isn’t the healthiest and alters the woman’s natural bodily functions so I would want my wife to get off of it if I was snipped. I would just ride it out, the problem here IMO is the failed vasectomy. He thought he was shooting blank rounds, come to find out he was live firing.

He is the asshole BTW. He needs to man up and take the shit as it is. Since he doesn’t want to, he gotta pay the court.

I would have just buckled down bul ain't ish if you have sex there's always a chance a pregnancy will happen even if it's 1% and if she wasn't going to get rid of it and he was already financially tide with her he should just made the best of it and stayed

I was expecting a different answered based on your username.

 

[AintShit]

I would stick with it because we would have been under the impression that I had a vasectomy which makes sense for her to stop taking birth control. Birth Control isn’t the healthiest and alters the woman’s natural bodily functions so I would want my wife to get off of it if I was snipped. I would just ride it out, the problem here IMO is the failed vasectomy. He thought he was shooting blank rounds, come to find out he was live firing.

He is the asshole BTW. He needs to man up and take the ish as it is. Since he doesn’t want to, he gotta pay the court.


I was expecting a different answered based on your username.

That Part bro especially with paying the court that shit dead and my name lol
Aligning
Intellect
Naturally
Triuphnently
Self Loving
Honabrelly
Illuminating
Truth
Aint Shit ✊🏽
...But I Most Def Have my Aint Shit Moments though ctfu

 

[Jay]

That Part bro especially with paying the court that ish dead and my name lol
Aligning
Intellect
Naturally
Triuphnently
Self Loving
Honabrelly
Illuminating
Truth
Aint ish ✊🏽
...But I Most Def Have my Aint ish Moments though ctfu

Ok I see you out there. Glad you’re on the site and hope to see you post here consistently.

 

[BeHart]

A woman saying she's OK with never having children, or if she gives birth she'll give them up? She pinky swears she'll do it? I can see that as being bs from way over here, just reading about it on my phone.

 

[The Honorable]

I would stick with it because we would have been under the impression that I had a vasectomy which makes sense for her to stop taking birth control. Birth Control isn’t the healthiest and alters the woman’s natural bodily functions so I would want my wife to get off of it if I was snipped. I would just ride it out, the problem here IMO is the failed vasectomy. He thought he was shooting blank rounds, come to find out he was live firing.

He is the asshole BTW. He needs to man up and take the ish as it is. Since he doesn’t want to, he gotta pay the court.


I was expecting a different answered based on your username.

How I see things too brother. If you're having sex there's a chance of pregnancy and you have to own the result.