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I’m saddened right now

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The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
 

Jay

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    The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
    Why are you breaking up?
     
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    Why are you breaking up?
    Well she said she just wasn’t happy with the relationship that is going on right now. She doesn’t want to go into another marriage relationship again after her last one she had for 10 years.

    I’m 48 still single and never been married. What next???
     

    TekhNiqo

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    The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
    Just work on yourself, work out. Sometimes when we are in relationships and forget to value ourselves as men. It sounds like she just isn't ready for commitment or commitment with you but that's okay because there's a bunch of women out there. My advice is work on yourself, start working out if you aren't already, buy yourself some new clothes and move like you're moving on and doing better even if on the inside you don't feel that way. She might start trying to come back in your life, but if you want that then no contact no contact TRUST ME. As long as you're breathing you're still in the game. Don't forget Dr.Sebi was 80 and had a 26 year old wife. So it all boils down to how you value yourself as a man first and how you exude that to women. Don't stress about never being married but rather start walking around like "I haven't met anyone who was WORTHY of ME" just walking around with that confidence will change the game.
     

    Princess El-Bey

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    The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
    Sorry to hear bro. It’s a process. If she’s not willing to work on the relationship with you right now, you can let her know that you still love her if that’s the case. You both may need some space. There is definitely someone out there for you. Take your time to find the right one.
     

    Jay

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    Well she said she just wasn’t happy with the relationship that is going on right now. She doesn’t want to go into another marriage relationship again after her last one she had for 10 years.

    I’m 48 still single and never been married. What next???
    Well the first thing to remember is that life goes on and will. Life is changing for you but its not over.

    Secondly, you need to get a full assessment of the issue..ask yourself and her:
    • Why was she unhappy?
    • Is this new info or did she tell me before?
    • Can the situation be fixed?
    Once you assess the situation you need to look in the mirror. I’m not saying you did but it’s totally possible that you f’d this relationship up. You need to look in the mirror to see what you did to contribute to this outcome. It hurts but if you don’t go through this process you won’t learn the lessons necessary to not f up your next relationship. Now you might go through this process and realize it was her or you might realize it was both of y‘all. But knowing why it happened will help you understand how to avoid it in the future.
     
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    Sorry to hear bro. It’s a process. If she’s not willing to work on the relationship with you right now, you can let her know that you still love her if that’s the case. You both may need some space. There is definitely someone out there for you. Take your time to find the right one.
    Thanks sis! It’s hard and I am saddened because I love black woman and living here in South west Missouri.
     
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    Well the first thing to remember is that life goes on and will. Life is changing for you but its not over.

    Secondly, you need to get a full assessment of the issue..ask yourself and her:
    • Why was she unhappy?
    • Is this new info or did she tell me before?
    • Can the situation be fixed?
    Once you assess the situation you need to look in the mirror. I’m not saying you did but it’s totally possible that you f’d this relationship up. You need to look in the mirror to see what you did to contribute to this outcome. It hurts but if you don’t go through this process you won’t learn the lessons necessary to not f up your next relationship. Now you might go through this process and realize it was her or you might realize it was both of y‘all.
    I don’t feel that I messed up. Everyday I text her to see how she’s doing and one day she told me that she wasn’t happy. I said why? I need for somebody to fulfill her needs. We talked about it. I told her that I love her and I put my faith and trust in her but she also explained when we talked to say that she doesn’t want to go through another marriage like she did that led her depressed and miserable. I get it and I understand. But I’m still saddened by all this
     

    Jay

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    I don’t feel that I messed up. Everyday I text her to see how she’s doing and one day she told me that she wasn’t happy. I said why? I need for somebody to fulfill her needs. We talked about it. I told her that I love her and I put my faith and trust in her but she also explained when we talked to say that she doesn’t want to go through another marriage like she did that led her depressed and miserable. I get it and I understand. But I’m still saddened by all this
    The story doesn‘t make sense but you‘re healing and this isn‘t an interrogation. Maybe she felt there was no future with you. Maybe she felt that you couldn’t elevate her in life. Or maybe she saw signs in you that triggered her. Im not caping for her but there is a reason why she was unhappy. Everything in life makes sense…if it doesn‘t it‘s because you lack information or are being lied to.

    At the of the day…assess, heal, and rebuild. You can still get married and have kids you just gotta figure out why it hasn’t happened yet. I had my first relationship at the age of 28 and I had to figure out why. It was because I gave my heart to business and never to a woman. I pursued money at all costs and while my skills and business acumen grew my skills with handling relationships was trash. I finally made a commitment to prioritize my love life and become a man a woman would be lucky to have.

    Unfortunately, I still ain’t shit….

    Sike just throwing some humor out there. I evolved myself and became a prize…have an honest convo with yourself. But today abd tomorrow cry the shit out. Let all the hurt and pain come out. You can do it for 72 hours but after that get back on your horse.
     

    TekhNiqo

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    I don’t feel that I messed up. Everyday I text her to see how she’s doing and one day she told me that she wasn’t happy. I said why? I need for somebody to fulfill her needs. We talked about it. I told her that I love her and I put my faith and trust in her but she also explained when we talked to say that she doesn’t want to go through another marriage like she did that led her depressed and miserable. I get it and I understand. But I’m still saddened by all this
    Sounds like a long distance relationship and I'm assuming she's younger? Well, the issue might not be commitment but you could have made yourself too available BUT if you were together for two years there is a chance you could get her back. Again, this goes back to reaffirming your value and having her understand, without you saying of course, that you're an opportunity she doesn't want to let slip. I recommend a whole month no contact no texts no nothing and then after you've a) Worked on yourself b) Start working out c) Find a new hobby or revive an old passion then you can hit her up... but taking the time a part is important because right now she already knows you love her because ya'll have been together for 2 years and she still wants to break up. When you're in this phase if you want her back you HAVE to ignore what your heart wants to do and give her space. Time is your friend believe it or not even at 48 and that's still young for Black folks and listen the game is wide open. I'm not telling you what I think I'm telling you what I know. My older brother just divorced and he's round your age and still catching them so it's about attitude and really you have to exude the energy that you WANT her but you don't NEED her. That's incredibly sexy to a woman and if not her then 10 others.
     

    Rollie Forbes

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    The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
    I's going to take some time, but you'll get through it. Make sure you give yourself time to heal mentally & emotionally. Strengthen your relationship with yourself, and tell yourself that your worth being loved.
    When I got divorced, I was devastated. Not too long thereafter, I had more women trying to get at me than I could handle. Trust me, if you're a good man and you have something going for yourself, the ladies will start choosing.
    It's going to hurt, but you'll be alright. Keep your head up, King.
     
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    I's going to take some time, but you'll get through it. Make sure you give yourself time to heal mentally & emotionally. Strengthen your relationship with yourself, and tell yourself that your worth being loved.
    When I got divorced, I was devastated. Not too long thereafter, I had more women trying to get at me than I could handle. Trust me, if you're a good man and you have something going for yourself, the ladies will start choosing.
    It's going to hurt, but you'll be alright. Keep your head up, King.
    Thanks
     
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    Sounds like a long distance relationship and I'm assuming she's younger? Well, the issue might not be commitment but you could have made yourself too available BUT if you were together for two years there is a chance you could get her back. Again, this goes back to reaffirming your value and having her understand, without you saying of course, that you're an opportunity she doesn't want to let slip. I recommend a whole month no contact no texts no nothing and then after you've a) Worked on yourself b) Start working out c) Find a new hobby or revive an old passion then you can hit her up... but taking the time a part is important because right now she already knows you love her because ya'll have been together for 2 years and she still wants to break up. When you're in this phase if you want her back you HAVE to ignore what your heart wants to do and give her space. Time is your friend believe it or not even at 48 and that's still young for Black folks and listen the game is wide open. I'm not telling you what I think I'm telling you what I know. My older brother just divorced and he's round your age and still catching them so it's about attitude and really you have to exude the energy that you WANT her but you don't NEED her. That's incredibly sexy to a woman and if not her then 10 others.
    I’m currently living with her. She told me to stay for the next couple of months but I need to leave ASAP because if I stay a little long I will fall into a deep depression over this.
     

    HeffDawg

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    reaffirming your value and having her understand, without you saying of course, that you're an opportunity she doesn't want to let slip.
    I feel this but it‘s best to just do the no contact forever playa and if she comes back take it from there. Niggas get caught in this loop with trying to show women that they improved, thirst trapping with gym pics and money. If a woman lets you go it means she saw what you had offer and felt she could do better.

    Let her go do better.
     
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    I feel this but it‘s best to just do the no contact forever playa and if she comes back take it from there. Niggas get caught in this loop with trying to show women that they improved, thirst trapping with gym pics and money. If a woman lets you go it means she saw what you had offer and felt she could do better.

    Let her go do better.
    I agree
     

    Troy

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    I’m currently living with her. She told me to stay for the next couple of months but I need to leave ASAP because if I stay a little long I will fall into a deep depression over this.
    Talk Show Reaction GIF by iOne Digital


    You’ll be fine big dog but I see a red flag already but let me know when you ready for that conversation.
     

    Troy

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    Let me re-faze what I said she said I could stay for a couple of months until I need to move out. Right now I am planning to move out ASAP
    I understood what you said. Think about it. She telling you how long you can stay. That shows you the balance of power already. Women don’t wanna have that power.
     

    TekhNiqo

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    I feel this but it‘s best to just do the no contact forever playa and if she comes back take it from there. Niggas get caught in this loop with trying to show women that they improved, thirst trapping with gym pics and money. If a woman lets you go it means she saw what you had offer and felt she could do better.

    Let her go do better.
    It just depends on what you want but I just want him to know what his options are and I don't know their relationship but I know women but I don't disagree with your main point but non-verbal communication is important and I know from experience that sometimes as men we forget about our own value being so focused on the woman and even if he deals with another woman he'll find himself in the same situation if he doesn't change that aspect and I never said show a woman "improvement" that's not the game the game is to improve and let them notice and more importantly never let them see you sweat. So instead of being depressed start dressing better and looking better for YOUR sake and that attracts. Women can tell when it's not genuine that's why moving out and no contact is important but even marriages fail or struggle when people forget that very concept. EVEN WOMEN have a hard time with this because they focus so much on the man that he takes her for granted.
     

    TekhNiqo

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    Let me re-faze what I said she said I could stay for a couple of months until I need to move out. Right now I am planning to move out ASAP
    Means the same thing, she feels like you NEED her rather than just WANT her. Always have options and this is advice I give women in the same situation. Leaving ASAP reinforces that you don't NEED her and she has to evaluate differently. The longer you stay reinforces why she wants to break up.
     
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    Means the same thing, she feels like you NEED her rather than just WANT her. Always have options and this is advice I give women in the same situation. Leaving ASAP reinforces that you don't NEED her and she has to evaluate differently. The longer you stay reinforces why she wants to break up.
    I agree
     

    Finesse

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    Don't let it bring you down. It sucks to go through a breakup, especially with someone you cared about. I've been there. I second what TekhNiqo said in his first post. Work on yourself. Improve upon yourself. Don't even do it to find a girlfriend at first, just do it to improve upon yourself. Use the time to focus on you. And then when you feel like you're ready to get back out there, go for it.

    I know it's not easy to move on from a breakup, but to me, it sounds like she wants to move on. And as cliche as it sounds, there are many fish in the sea, and I'm sure there are many women around your age looking for a relationship. You will find someone.
     
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    Don't let it bring you down. It sucks to go through a breakup, especially with someone you cared about. I've been there. I second what TekhNiqo said in his first post. Work on yourself. Improve upon yourself. Don't even do it to find a girlfriend at first, just do it to improve upon yourself. Use the time to focus on you. And then when you feel like you're ready to get back out there, go for it.

    I know it's not easy to move on from a breakup, but to me, it sounds like she wants to move on. And as cliche as it sounds, there are many fish in the sea, and I'm sure there are many women around your age looking for a relationship. You will find someone.
    Thanks
     

    Bruh Man

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    Means the same thing, she feels like you NEED her rather than just WANT her. Always have options and this is advice I give women in the same situation. Leaving ASAP reinforces that you don't NEED her and she has to evaluate differently. The longer you stay reinforces why she wants to break up.
    She came home from work and saw that nigga playing NBA Live for the last time. He had the same shorts on from when he woke in the morning and she was through.

    Get well Alistair Fannell
     

    OTR

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    Well she said she just wasn’t happy with the relationship that is going on right now. She doesn’t want to go into another marriage relationship again after her last one she had for 10 years.

    I’m 48 still single and never been married. What next???
    Work on yourself man. Hit the gym, take stock of your life & re-evaluate your life goals. If you got a little extra change...travel travel travel. It will open up your horizons and you never know who you might meet out there in the world.

    You don’t have child support nor a divorce to deal with (that’s a good thing). Keep your head up!
     

    Jay

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    The woman l love for two years are breaking up today. It’s sad and I know people say life goes on but I am 48 years old with no children and I’ve never been married. I wish I can find that special woman in my life but I don’t know if it will happen
    How are you doing today brother? Is it getting easier?
     

    Sun Light

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    Well she said she just wasn’t happy with the relationship that is going on right now. She doesn’t want to go into another marriage relationship again after her last one she had for 10 years.

    I’m 48 still single and never been married. What next???
    Learn how to enjoy life without others and you will attract the right person..
     

    RCNAL

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    First from what I can tell you seem like a good dude. Second, the fact you are on this site, says as much about where your mind is at, etc.

    That being said, and I want to be as supportive as possible, but you moved in with her. That speaks volumes bro. Women need to feel security, all kinds of security, physical, financial, etc. Unless its your home or both of you moved into a home together, its really tough to get a woman's full respect when you are moving into HER home. The only way that works in your favor in terms of how she sees you in her eyes if you are footing the bills.

    If she owns her home and is paying the mortgage its even moreso. She will not see you as a provider. Maybe....maybe if you are paying the mortgage or most of it. If she is renting, similarly so. Maybe you are, but its still HER home.

    Also, women look to see if her man has a plan. It may not be the best plan but he has one. Admittedly, I don't know your situation but she will make a full assessment of her man, any woman will. Does he have a decent job and if not, is he in the process or planning to do better? Is he handling business now? Meaning, he's taking financial leadership, emotional leadership, etc.

    48 and single for a man is not a big deal IF you got your sh*t together. Good black men at almost any age are at a premium. My advice for what its worth? Take a full assessment of yourself. Be brutally honest. If you have a trusted female relative or homegirl and you give her total freedom to give you some hard truths, and accept the critique out of love, then you may wanna do so.

    You are telling us your side, but my guess is she will add some missing pieces to the puzzle that will put it all in its full view.
     

    Nat Turner

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    Married 20 years. HUGE NERD! Spent much of my life thinking my line might end with me. Look in the mirror. Look at your finances. “IF YOU BUILD IT, SHE WILL COME”. I will not disrespect you by assuming you are not a quality man. Brothers get enough of that. So next steps. If you’re not Denzel, stop looking for Hallie. Plenty of “beautiful” monsters out there will destroy you and themselves. Look deeper. Find something you’re interested in that women are interested in. Do that. Talk a lot about what they like to talk about. They love talking! If not being a father bothers you, 3/4 of the women on the dating apps are looking for a dad for their kid. 👀 Some of them are worth it. Find out. Might be fun. I love kids! Their mother’s past choices in men is NOT their fault. You grew as a person. Those women most likely did so as well. Find out.
     

    GwynShivers

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    Learn how to enjoy life without others and you will attract the right person..
    I'm a person that never liked being alone. The problem with that is the wrong people show up. After 5 years, the Most High sent my dear King & we've been together much longer than most. Point is, if you rush into another relationship, it won't be the one. Wait, you won't regret it & more power to you bruh. ✊🏽
     
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    First from what I can tell you seem like a good dude. Second, the fact you are on this site, says as much about where your mind is at, etc.

    That being said, and I want to be as supportive as possible, but you moved in with her. That speaks volumes bro. Women need to feel security, all kinds of security, physical, financial, etc. Unless its your home or both of you moved into a home together, its really tough to get a woman's full respect when you are moving into HER home. The only way that works in your favor in terms of how she sees you in her eyes if you are footing the bills.

    If she owns her home and is paying the mortgage its even moreso. She will not see you as a provider. Maybe....maybe if you are paying the mortgage or most of it. If she is renting, similarly so. Maybe you are, but its still HER home.

    Also, women look to see if her man has a plan. It may not be the best plan but he has one. Admittedly, I don't know your situation but she will make a full assessment of her man, any woman will. Does he have a decent job and if not, is he in the process or planning to do better? Is he handling business now? Meaning, he's taking financial leadership, emotional leadership, etc.

    48 and single for a man is not a big deal IF you got your sh*t together. Good black men at almost any age are at a premium. My advice for what its worth? Take a full assessment of yourself. Be brutally honest. If you have a trusted female relative or homegirl and you give her total freedom to give you some hard truths, and accept the critique out of love, then you may wanna do so.

    You are telling us your side, but my guess is she will add some missing pieces to the puzzle that will put it all in its full view.
    I have a plan right now. I am taking Digital photography as an Art. I also currently am working in the Steel industry. I am doing what I am to better myself.
     

    Sapphire

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    If you are healthy, you still have another 10 years to have kids. It is not ideal (cause raising kids as an older adult is harder) but you can still have some. I have heard of people meeting their husband/wife in their 50s and 60s. You will find someone. Just focus on what you love and what you are passionate about and you will end up meeting someone with the same interests.
     

    Drakbluud

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    Well she said she just wasn’t happy with the relationship that is going on right now. She doesn’t want to go into another marriage relationship again after her last one she had for 10 years.

    I’m 48 still single and never been married. What next???
    Money.